Nurses: Who came from a dysfuntional family?

Nurses General Nursing

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I am just curious as to how many of us came from a dysfunctional family. When I say dysfunctional, I mean children of alcholics, drug addicts, mental illness, child abuse whether it be physical or emotional. I read years ago that 75% of all nurses come from this type of environment. Is it true? Let me be the first to say "Yes"

Specializes in Clinicals.

My mother has mental illnesses and my dad is an alcoholic.

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Specializes in pacu, icu, med aesthetics, massause.
Depends on what you mean by alcoholics: practicing, or history of? My father is an alcoholic but he got sober when I was a baby so I never saw him drink.

Mental illness: my mother, I firmly believe, would be diagnosed as clinically depressed if she would ever seek help, but she's worked at never letting it get the best of her.

In spite of those two, my brother and I grew up in a very loving home.

I understand where you are coming from, unfortunately over the years I have learned even though your parents may not have drank or drugged infront of you the characteristic traits of dysfunction can and often is past on. This was my confusion for many years as I was raised very religiously without alcohol or abuse, however learning more of dysfunction vs. functional relationships doesn't have to include "actively" abusing.

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Specializes in Peds, PICU, Home health, Dialysis.

Father, mother, and step-father all have been alcoholics. Both mother and step-father (whom I grew up with) have depression. Started taking care of my siblings at the age of 10. But I agree with others that it made me into the person I am today.

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Trust me, my childhood was not spent in a dysfunctional family. And that is not denial, that is fact. People in recovery do learn to live functional and "normal" lives, and I was lucky that my father got sober early on. He got sober because my mother gave him an ultimatum: either he stopped drinking and stayed stopped, or she would leave with my brother and me. He stopped.

What you're describing is a dry drunk: someone who is not actively drinking but exhibits all the actions/signs of someone who is.

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Specializes in pacu, icu, med aesthetics, massause.
I am just curious as to how many of us came from a dysfunctional family. When I say dysfunctional, I mean children of alcholics, drug addicts, mental illness, child abuse whether it be physical or emotional. I read years ago that 75% of all nurses come from this type of environment. Is it true? Let me be the first to say "Yes"

LET ME JUST LET US ALL RECOGNIZE "CO-DEPENDENCY" I AGREE!!

NOT ONLY THAT BUT NURSES TEND TO BE or BECOME THE SOLE PROVIDERS AND HAVE MANY PERSONAL REALATIONSHIP ISSUES...caring tooooo much can often be recognized as weakness in predators! However, I have to recognize it as a God Given Blessing in my Spirit that allows me to be so giving,,,,,not just anyone can do what we do! BE PROUD IN YOURSELF!

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Yep, I'm a member of that sorority too.

me too i'm lovin psych. I feel right at home..

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BIG FAT YES lol. Drugs, Alchohol (Dad)..but that wasn't so bad because he was still a great dad despite his addictions. Mom also relied heavily on alcohol and anti-depressants.

Physically and mentally abusive step-father is where I would say the majority of my disfunction came from.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Tele, DOU.

Yes, I started life in a dysfunctional family of sorts.

IMHO, I have benefitted from God, therapy, and medication. Interestingly, in that order.

I must say, I did not become a nurse as a direct or indirect result of my upbringing. I just knew I was supposed to be a nurse. I tried talking myself out of becoming a nurse too. Yet, no matter what happened, I found that nursing is what I am meant to do--for this season.

All this said, I do truly believe that my upbringing has influenced the type of care that I provide at the bedside.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

Dad's a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder. Mom's a moderate case of borderline personality disorder. No drug or ETOH use or abuse in the family. I'm an only child.

When I was young, my father became disabled, and we ended up on welfare. That's when the crap hit the fan, going from middle-class to poor. Both devolved into really bad mental illness at this time. Mom used to have actual psychotic breaks and hallucinate. Dad just withdrew.

Lots of neglect and emotional abuse. And yet after years of therapy - life is very, very good now.

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.
Am I the only nurse then that grew up in a happy home? No drinking or drugs, no divorce, happy married parents, etc.

The whole family still gets together every Sunday afternoon for lunch. I visit my folks every week, an my kids love their grandparents. I am actually looking forward to the 2 family reunions this summer. My husband is from a very functional family also.

Not bragging, but there are nurses from functional families out there.

No, I grew up in a pretty happy home as well, and most of the RN's that I worked with at my previous hospital, from what I knew about them, seemed to come from pretty functional, nuclear families as well. I don't know much about many of the nurses at the hospital that I work at now, but I have heard that many of the employees here.. not just the nurses but the therapists, SW's, etc... come from fairly dysfunctional backgrounds, are recovering addicts, etc.. 'Course I work in psych now; psych tends to attract folks with "issues". My own issues aren't really that I came from a dysfunctional background, but I do have a history of mild clinical depression and anxiety disorder.

My husband's family OTOH, has it's fair share of dysfunction, or history of.

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Family Practice.

The reason I started this thread is to prove or disprove the study. I too came from a family of drug addicts and alcholics. My mother was a prescription drug addict and alcholic who overdosed at the age of 49 and that was the overdose that did her in. I do not know who my father is and the rest of my family also abuse drugs and alcohol. I was the first person to graduate high school and the first in my family to have a child after I go married. I'm not judging if you did it different, it was just a personal goal of mine. In a round about way I have asked several nurses that I work with regarding their upbringing and most meet the dysfunctional criteria. The reason it interests me so much is who else would volunteer to go into a career where you clean shi_, clean urine, suction trachs, work short staffed, work for low pay (alot of us), work nights, weekends and holidays with having a little something wrong with us. I know with me, that everytime I make someone feel better it gives me a certain gratification that nothing else does. I always cheer for the underdog and have a dier need to try and make everything okay. All I can say is I commend all of us who broke the cycle and became nurses for whatever reason. We have to be the coolest of cool individuals whether you be a CNA, LPN or RN and up.

And it's ironic that when people ask me if I ever plan on becoming a RN, because I'm a LPN, in my heart of heart I know that I'm the only person in my family to even go to college, so I usually say maybe, but I'm very proud of my accomplishment. When I compare myself to my family, I rank up with being the president of the U.S. in my accomplishments.

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AAAAAAGH! I had a whole post typed out and it blew up!!!

Okay here goes: by the criteria you just listed, I have a dysfunctional family. My father grew up in one. Between him and his brother there are 7 of us. Out of the 7 I am the only one who graduated from high school vs quitting (my brother and one cousin got GEDs, the others didn't bother). I am the only one who went to college and graduated with a degree, vs just taking a class here and there. I am the only one in a profession rather than a job.

However, my father was determined that his children would not grow up the way he did. Although I fit your criteria for a dysfunctional childhood, I did not have a dysfunctional one.

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