No Respect. - page 4

Where did the respect go for nurses and doctors? My nurse friend whom is in her silver years was a nurse many many decades ago and recently has retired. I was telling her a story of a patient... Read More

  1. by   ItsThatJenGirl
    Quote from CardiacDork
    Okay. Thanks for your astute analysis. Yes, it's clear I am not happy with the ICU. I know this. I recognize this. Nursing is vast and the opportunities are many. Right now I have about 4 years of experience and my ADN. By the time I finish my BSN I'll have 5-6 years of experience and enrolled in NP school (I'm in a dual degree program).

    But this post wasn't really about my personal unhappiness with the ICU and where I need to take my career path.

    It's about the lack of respect and rudeness that is for some reason especially present when dealing with these chronic illnesses at their worst. Work a few years in the ICU as a full fledged RN and you'll see what I mean. The frequent flyer and their families have a way of chipping away at your morale.


    This isn't the nightingale nursing you learn about in school
    There's no need to be condescending.

    I didn't say you seemed unhappy in the ICU. You seem unhappy in general. You have issues with people quite often (RT, people on this forum, "medical field", etc), and I thought maybe it was time for some self reflection.

    But what do I know? As you passively aggressively pointed out, I'm merely a student.
  2. by   CardiacDork
    Quote from ItsThatJenGirl
    There's no need to be condescending.

    I didn't say you seemed unhappy in the ICU. You seem unhappy in general. You have issues with people quite often (RT, people on this forum, "medical field", etc), and I thought maybe it was time for some self reflection.

    But what do I know? As you passively aggressively pointed out, I'm merely a student.
    Who made you qualified to police the post of others and suggest what others must reflect on. In assessing my own posts, your claims are an exaggeration. Plus this is AN. People come to vent and talk about things that upset them sometimes. Who do you think you are to tell someone whether they are happy or not based off posts online? Maybe YOU seriously should re-evaluate your attitude. You are acting self righteous. Get off your high horse. People are imperfect, including YOU. My posts are a mix of triumphs, victories, opinions, displeasures, and my personal career evolution. This includes all aspects of it, to magnify my posts where I bring to light a situation with someone is ridiculous.

    The RT? Her and I are pretty great. She's like a mom to me on the unit. Bought me lunch one day I forgot my lunch and had a crashing patient. I remember I baked her some goodies and I appreciate her skills and knowledge as an RT.

    The post about the fellow nurse was verbally and emotionally abusive? Well guess what? That really happened! And it's a part of the past.

    My posts carry all sorts of vibrations. They are real and my experiences. I'm not trying to run a cookie cutter show.
  3. by   CardiacDork
    Quote from ItsThatJenGirl
    There's no need to be condescending.

    I didn't say you seemed unhappy in the ICU. You seem unhappy in general. You have issues with people quite often (RT, people on this forum, "medical field", etc), and I thought maybe it was time for some self reflection.

    But what do I know? As you passively aggressively pointed out, I'm merely a student.
    I was not being condescending about you being a student. That's how YOU feel. That's your perception.

    Yes you are a student and the fact is you don't know anything about being a licensed nurse and carrying the burden yet. There is nothing wrong with someone pointing this out.

    If you perceive this as condescending, then you are in for a rude awakening.
  4. by   ItsThatJenGirl
    Thanks for confirming my initial impression of you. Now I know better than to try to engage.
  5. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from wondern
    Are you kidding me cardiacdork? Get the woman some ice and water, ftlog! What's your deal??? Why don't you assess the woman is dry and wants water? You wonder why we don't get respect?! Really? Listen to the patient! Get the water! Family is good for patients!
    Sarcasm, right? I hope it's sarcasm.
  6. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from wondern
    Respectfully if it was you laying there you might feel differently. I've taken care of cath patients before too. Check the pressure and get the ice. It's not the end of the world to have an ice chip!
    Perhaps it might be unsafe for the RN to leave her brand new post cath patient and her unstable second patient to walk to the other end of the unit for ice chips. The ice chips can wait until everyone is safe and comfortable. Families used to get that.

    (And yes, it's been me laying there more times than I care to think about.)
  7. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from wondern
    Wow a little dramatic! I reread he didn't say she was NPO. Even so she could be offered mouth care or maybe even an ice chip or 2. At least reassure the family. It's such a terrible thing to take care of patient wants??? Since when? I also don't get the big EYEROLL from OP?! The woman has been through some stuff. She's only asking for a little water.
    Oh, it wasn't sarcasm. Depending upon the layout of the unit and the assignments, it MAY be a big deal to go and get a little water or two ice chips. I think the point of the whole thread was that the family wasn't respecting the nurse's priorities, even after education. That behavior is on the rise, and it gets old.
  8. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from LovingLife123
    I disagree with you completely. I've spent plenty of time in ICUs in my lifetime as a patient, not just a nurse, so I can speak to being the n both sides. You don't just cycle a pressure and grab ice. If you had read the OPs scenario, this patient came back a mess.

    Everybody who comes to my icu unit gets a bath immediately and new sheets. They are fresh from surgery, infection risk is high. I often get unstable people back from OR or Cath Lab. People are not allowed to die down there. So, there vitals are of the utmost importance to me.

    Once I get them clean, stable, and settled, I will swan out their mouths if they are dry. I'm not giving ice chips until given the order to do so. People aspirate on ice chips.

    My job is to keep them stable and safe, not to give them what the family feels they need at the moment. All family are escorted to the waiting room until my patient is settled. They can visit afterwards, but when you come to me, the physician has deemed you critical. That makes my assessment critical as well.

    If you don't see that, maybe icu is not where you should be.
    YES!!! THIS!!
  9. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from wondern
    I guess I've been extremely blessed to not have patients and families be disrespectful or condescending too much. Very rarely. I do look at patients as customers in a way because of how much I want them to feel satisfied with the care they are getting after making sure they're safe of course. Some people pay a lot of money for their health care. I would love to make them feel like they were in the 'Hilton with tubes' as much as possible. Ha!
    Healthy debate is a good thing. So are varying perspectives. You said the floor was short staffed. The family is usually there to help. Maybe you could have asked her to go to the nurses station and ask for a cup of ice while you checked vitals and untangled spaghetti.
    You said yourself you were happy to be leaving ICU and were just ranting so I would think a differing opinion might be expected maybe. Family is usually there to help not hinder.

    Family is not "usually there to help." They are supposedly there to support the patient, but even that is becoming somewhat rare these days. Often, they are there "because I have a RIGHT to see my loved one." If I sent a family member to the nurse's station to get a cup of ice, they'd be back without the cup of ice because NO ONE would give them a cup of ice without checking with me to make sure it was OK for the patient to have a cup of ice.

    Frankly, I'm doubtful that you've actually worked ICU.
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from wondern
    I'm so glad you asked. Yes, lots and lots of fresh cath patients! Cath patients that even went home the same day. They are not all ICU patients. One of the top priorities was to keep the pressure dressing and sandbag intact and the patient basically immobile for 4 hours. I never bathed one on arrival. My clean bed/stretcher was waiting on their arrival. I've given plenty of ice chips the minute they got back as they'd been NPO all night long and were relatively healthy and thirsty as all get out. That would usually be their only complaint. Cath patients don't always go to ICU. Some walk in and walk out later that day. Actually, I'd have the ice chips waiting with a spoon for that sister to feed her with, then I wouldn't have to walk away but I will eventually so... and its a given to me that I would ensure their safety first!

    OK -- but there's a big difference between ICU Cath patients and cath patients who go home the same day.
  11. by   Alex_RN
    I wish I could quote my father, who used to say, "This is not Burger King. You cannot have it your way." But that would be problematic, wouldn't it?

    Just yesterday, I received a transfer from ICU and before I could say, 'Hello' and begin to assess the patient, multiple friends and family were requesting trivial things and asking questions. I tried to be accommodating yet also explain that I needed to assess the patient first but I started to sound tense and impatient with their constant interruptions and their physically being in the way while I hooked up O2, took vitals, etc. Next time, I will emphasize patient safety and ask them to step into the waiting room until I get the patient settled.

    Run and get them ice first? Absolutely not. Then it is something else, then another thing... meanwhile a lot of things can be going wrong. Next time, because I care passionately about my patients welfare, I am clearing the room.
  12. by   FolksBtrippin
    CardiacDork,

    I feel you on the disrespect.

    Reading your post is cathartic for me.

    If families have the luxury of demanding ice and water, it is a credit to you, that you have very successfully seemed calm enough for them to have no idea how precipitous the situation is.

    You would be justified in asking them to leave. I don't know if your supervisor would be okay with it; but morally you would be justified.

    For what it's worth, I respect you.
  13. by   Purple_roses
    Quote from wondern
    Respectfully if it was you laying there you might feel differently. I've taken care of cath patients before too. Check the pressure and get the ice. It's not the end of the world to have an ice chip!
    I have actually never had a patient or family member get upset with me for holding off on things like water when coming from CVL. It's not like an assessment takes an hour. It can be fast, but it is the priority. I explain everything as I'm doing and explain why I'm assessing, I explain what can go wrong, and I apologize at first for how much I'll have to "bug" them in that first hour especially and explain that I just really want their loved one to be ok. I always bring the family and patient their comfort things once I've talked with them all and we've all assessed how the patient is doing together and once everyone knows what symptoms to watch out for. I've never had a bad experience doing this. Now if I have a patient that I know is coming to me from ER and is relatively stable and has orders placed already, I'll grab the water first. That's different to me.

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