NEED HELP STAT!! How to tell a 10 year old his parent will die? He is on his way!

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Critical Care (ICU/CVICU).

I'm in ICU and we have a woman in her 30s who has a 10 year old son, her only child. His grandparents are dead and his father is in jail. If she goes, he will stay with the father's mother. The mom might not make it within a week or so. The patient's sibling has no idea how to break the news and wants me to do it.... OMG!!!!! He is on his way within an hour, what do I do?????? How do I say it in a compassionate way??? I think I'm soooo going to bawl my eyes out! Anybody with any experience in how to break the news to a child?

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Specializes in Peri-op/Sub-Acute ANP.

I'm sorry, but this just isn't your responsibility and I wouldn't accept that responsibility. How is this poor kid supposed to deal with something like that, from a stranger no less? Sheesh, the people around this kid are really going to have to grow up, and fast. Don't let them corner you into doing this. It really is something that should come from a trusted family member in a supportive environment, not on an ICU floor. I'm not saying you can't be there and be supportive, but you shouldn't be the lead on this.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Get help. Does your hospital have a Chaplain, Social Worker, etc. who can help you? If not, then ask for help from a more experienced nurse or physician.

But if you are not prepared to do this duty ... then you should not be doing it without help.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Does your hospital have a child life specialist? This is really beyond what you should be expected to do. Even someone from psych services if a chaplain or social worker isn't available would be able to assist.

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Specializes in Critical Care (ICU/CVICU).

Thanks so far for the suggestions! I called the Social Worker for ICU (she has some pediatric experience as well) and she is going to see what she can do for me. How awesome of her. I have NO strength to have been able to do it (and I'm glad you guys mention that it's truly not my responsibility)

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You need to page your resources. now.

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Specializes in Critical Care (ICU/CVICU).
You need to page your resources. now.

update: I called the Social Worker and she talked to the family about the best way to talk to the child. The son decided to come in the room and see his comatose mother (i guess the family broke it too him)....he was shaking so bad and didn't want to touch anything. He started bawling.... and I beat him to the punch because I broke down just looking at him so scared. I am kind of mad at myself for not being able to compose myself better... UGH! Thanks everyone.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Crying just means that you are human. Seeing a young child like that, so emotional and viewing his comatose mother is heartbreaking. That is why you needed to call in reinforcements, its wonderful the social worker was there and also had pediatric experience.

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I don't have any words of wisdom , I am only writing to say that this kind of situations break my heart especially when kids are involved and will be left behind with no parents! :(((((((

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We always had on call chaplains for such situations. I hope the social worker came through for you. How heart wrenching!

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Specializes in Med Surg - Renal.

I hate to be Debbie Downer, but is the OP posting on an open internet message board for advice and giving updates on a situation *during* her shift?

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Specializes in Med/Surg,Cardiac.

If you didn't cry it would be worrisome. I cannot imagine dealing with that situation. I respect the ones who do, including you.

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