Most Humorous Call-In Excuses

blinks14 · Jul 22, 2008

Unfortunately I don't have one to add to the list but I've often heard the above referred to as anal glaucoma, which being a medical professional, I definitely enjoy.

AprilRNhere · Jul 22, 2008

I love my job...luckily they don't even ask. We just call and say we're unable to come in. They claim it's a HIPAA violation to ask why...as then they're essentially asking what's wrong with you. Usually they just say "ok- take care of yourself!"

Again...LOVE my job.

Mara123RN · Jul 22, 2008

My hospital doesn't respect HIPPA laws. You have to tell them why. I don't know of any funny call out excuses although some are lies and you know it.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 22, 2008

jeffrey_rn said:

Just the other day, an employee decided to call-in on his last day of employment with our hospital. His brother is a nurse on my floor so that's how I know he called in with the following excuse:
Employee: "I'm not coming in today."

Nursing Services: "And your reason?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness."

Nursing Services: "Excuse me?"

Employee: "I have *** blindness. I can't see my *** coming into work today." Hangs up phone.

Now, I've heard this one before. But this was the first time I had actually heard of it being used. Only recommended on your very last day on a job at a place you never plan on returning to!

So what's the funniest excuse you've ever given or heard about?

jeffrey - Hello - I have to tell you that is by far the funniest excuse I have EVER heard, and I've been nursing almost 17 years. TOO FUNNY!!!

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2008

We're a rural hospital, and a lot of our nurses have livestock -- goats, horses, cattle, etc., and one raises Austrailian shepherds that will herd sheep, goats, cows, etc. Chuck loves his dogs, possibly more than his wife and kids. And he tends to refer to his wife as "the old b***h."

Chuck calls in, asks for the charge. Says he won't be in, because....

"My b***h is whelping."

Charge: "Your wife is WHAT?!"

Chuck: "No, not my wife, my b***h!"

Charge: "You've got a girlfriend?! Chuck, why are you telling me this?!"

Okay, now the entire nurses station is dead silent and listening. You can actually hear Chuck yelling in the phone.

Chuck: "No, my b***h, my b***h! My b***h's whelping!"

Charge (with a hugely evil smirk on her face): "Chuck, we didn't even know you and Cindy were pregnant!"

Chuck: "It's not my wife, it's my dog!"

RN1121 · Jul 22, 2008

We're a rural hospital, and a lot of our nurses have livestock -- goats, horses, cattle, etc., and one raises Austrailian shepherds that will herd sheep, goats, cows, etc. Chuck loves his dogs, possibly more than his wife and kids. And he tends to refer to his wife as "the old b***h."
Chuck calls in, asks for the charge. Says he won't be in, because....
"My b***h is whelping."
Charge: "Your wife is WHAT?!"
Chuck: "No, not my wife, my b***h!"
Charge: "You've got a girlfriend?! Chuck, why are you telling me this?!"
Okay, now the entire nurses station is dead silent and listening. You can actually hear Chuck yelling in the phone.
Chuck: "No, my b***h, my b***h! My b***h's whelping!"
Charge (with a hugely evil smirk on her face): "Chuck, we didn't even know you and Cindy were pregnant!"
Chuck: "It's not my wife, it's my dog!"

That is absolutely hilarious! :chuckle

Vito Andolini · Jul 22, 2008

My hospital doesn't respect HIPPA laws. You have to tell them why. I don't know of any funny call out excuses although some are lies and you know it.

You do NOT have to name your illness. All you need to say is you are sick or you have a sick child or your transportation is messed up or you must tend to a personal matter. you do NOT have to say what it is (the personal matter).

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Jul 22, 2008

I still laugh about this years later. Mostly because it is so gross it is so funny.

A CNAs hubby called her off "Um...she can't come in today...she has a really bad yeast infection..it smells alot and hurts"

Um...you had me at "she can't come in tonite"

I still work with this CNA and have to chuckle.

Lorie P. · Jul 22, 2008

had a cna call in on the weekend( fri-sat nites) to say she couldn't come in because her cat of 5 years died!

we took bets to see if she would be at work on that sunday nite or if she would call in because of the"veiwing/funeral" sure enough at 1500 on sunday afternoon she called to say she wouldn't be in again cause she had buried her poor cat and was still upset and crying!

i know, we were cruel to take the bets, but you just had to know this cna.

few days later one of the nurses says he has to call in for the next 2 nites cause he had 3 goldfish die in his koie(sp) pond!! he needed time off to mourn his poor fish!:chuckle

he didn't, but we got a good laugh anyways!!

Kevin RN08 · Jul 22, 2008

Here's one that could be "dual threaded" to the cell phone thread.

We had a CNA call out a week or so ago with ... "I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and am too upset to come in."

Just curious, I am an extern working nights, what is an acceptable time to call in sick (or whatever). We work 7-7 and since I am basically an "extra body" I wouldn't think it would matter, but for a RN or CNA how much "warning" is appropriate?

onyx77 · Jul 22, 2008

Just a couple weeks ago we had a CNA call in late because her uncle was in town (from another country) and they were having a party for him. She said she would be in after the party! Mind you she was not asked why she was going to be late - she offered it. Why not make up a flat tire or something! Well, at least she's honest!