Male Nurse Disgusted by Female Nurses - page 9

Hi Beth: I believe you submitted a recent article about Safe Patient/Nurse Ratios in this country. I have been a nurse for about one year and a half and I am appalled by what I have observed with... Read More

  1. by   fibroblast
    Quote from elkpark
    Are you serious? I can't count how often males here reference that the worst thing (or one of the bad things, at least) of being a male in nursing is having to work with lots of women (because, y'know, of all the backbiting, cattiness, etc., etc, etc.). Have a look around this site.
    They knew before they got into nursing that they would have to work with women. I would think it is time to get a new job if it so terrible to work with women knowing that nursing is traditionally filled with women.
    Last edit by fibroblast on Jan 27
  2. by   brap740
    Quote from fibroblast
    They knew before they got into nursing that they would have to work with women. I would think it is time to get a new job if it so terrible to work with women knowing that nursing is traditionally filled with women.
    His point is.....it wouldn't be so terrible if the culture wasn't so toxic. But here we are, and here you are.....being toxic.

    You can't deny what he complains of-lack of unity-is very much so accurate.
  3. by   Kooky Korky
    Lots of generalizing going on here.

    And from what I have seen from Millennials, lots of old fashioned views. The young people of today with whom
    I have relationships seem to believe that women can do and be whatever they want.

    Not saying it's easy or universal.

    Also, we can never forget the biology. Pregnancy and birth, the lion's share of childrearing, homemaking, and
    holding the clan together - all of these tend to fall to women.

    Even so, I agree with the male nurse who finds it disturbing that women generally tend to moan but not take action
    when they are unhappy about some aspects of their jobs.
  4. by   Kooky Korky
    Quote from Ecs268
    Small minds talk about people, great minds talk about ideas. I've seen the pettiness with both men and women, although i'll have to admit the women have it dialed in and on lockdown in my experience hahah. Men can't compete when it comes to the backstabbing/gossip imo, although some men come close. I think it's just nature/socialization, we are different from each other in how we think/act. As far as the pay goes, everyone I work with, boys and girls, we are all at the same pay grade, based on experience and time put in. I try not to put up any walls to anyone and try to get along with everyone. Every person reacts/works each according to their gifts!
    How do you know what everyone is paid?
  5. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    I like being a nurse and I like working with women. Have I noticed the whole female conditioning phenomenon? You betcha!!! The profession is 93% women so how could I not notice it over the years. It hasn't really affected me though honestly. Most of the stuff described by Nurse Beth and later by the posters here in this thread is stuff that happens between women. I find women are much, much harder on one another then they are on any man so I almost always get an pass on the issues described. I don't really care about any sort of infighting like that and I try to no worry too much about stuff that I can't change or what I consider to be useless drama. I'm only going to be in my role as a Nurse for a couple more months & then I'll move on to a new role as an NP. A couple of things I have noticed over the years generally. First, if men don't like something they will simply leave either by getting a new job or finding a new role. Fifteen years ago I was a floor nurse on a Step-Down Unit which got primarily post op patients after leaving the PACU or SICU. I was a new nurse and it was a tough, miserable job. Everybody complained pretty much constantly. I also did tons of OT on our medsurg floors. These units were dominated by women. I'm talking four floors of a big hospital with I'm sure to close to 200 staff nurses. Only about 5 of us were men. Within a couple years all the men except one moved on. I moved to the ER and now am moving to an NP role. I still know most folks on those floors (I work for the VA and its like the mafia people rarely leave) and they are still complaining and from what I can tell nothing has changed. Men are without a doubt disproportionately represented in management and advanced nursing roles. My cohort in my NP studies is graduating 18 students with 7 being men which means that by a factor of 6 or 7 men are over-represented. Please note, I don't know or even really care why this is the case as it doesn't really affect me anymore but why do nurses stay in roles that make them unhappy for so long? Second, when I walk out of work I don't take this stuff home. I date a nurse in my hospital (yeah I know bad move but I'm crazy about her) and her and her friends in a sense never leave work. They constantly text or Facebook each other with the drama of the day. We've been together a long while and she has learned to keep me out of this cycle of old news and feuds but it is never-ending. I'm also a union steward and have heard a zillion gripes between nurses and with management over the years. Nurses (of both sexes) like to complain about things a lot but when it comes down to actually doing something about the status quo even if its as simple as writing a grievance and signing it they won't. They will just "suck it up" and persevere in misery. Anyway so much for my pre-coffee ramblings I wish you all a happy Saturday
  6. by   3ringnursing
    Some female nurses (and some male nurses too) have found that acting in a manner viewed as aggressive by management can lead to a whole lot of trouble with one's job and perhaps license, and typically does not lead to the desired result.

    I cry in anger sometimes, it's something I can't control - better to do it in private. Perhaps you lose control at times too?

    Rising up will not free us as a profession as the pitch fork and torch approach is pretty frowned upon, although working on having legislation deem what is, and what is not permissible may be a more effective strategy for the long run.

    Sorry if my feminine ways and sensibilities offend you.
  7. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Me??? No I'm not offended in anyway. As far as letting work get to me, well sure it happens on occasion. I'm a guy but I'm still human. Over the years I've drawn some pretty distinct boundaries between my coworkers and myself. This didn't happen overnight. For me the best way to deal with any work related drama was to not participate unless there was going to be a concrete plan to deal with the issue in an open manner. I also almost never address personal issues at work. All of these steps have helped me. I don't know if they would work for everybody else but that's my experience
  8. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from Kooky Korky
    How do you know what everyone is paid?
    Probably doesn't.

    I know for a fact that in at least four major hospitals in four states, men are paid more PER HOUR than women. And raises are calculated as a percentage of your current pay, so the gap keeps getting wider.

    I also know for a fact that I had more education, more experience and more leadership activities than either of the two male nurses I was married to, and they still made more per hour.
  9. by   Truth_be-told
    You could not be more correct. If a female graduate in some male dominated profession was treated the way I was or have been trying to get a career, say law enforcement, I would be have been awarded millions many times over for 1/100,000,000 of the discrimination i had to go through both getting through nursing school and trying to gain employment. It is supposed to be enshrined in the US Constitution against discrimination based on gender, yet this supposed right is routinely violated and there are no checks or means to enforce this. Voice your grievances against what is FLAGRANT violations of your supposed Constitutional rights, and you will be brushed aside or told you are 'too sensitive' as there are virtually no protections against this raping of your rights. Trying to get a lawyer to represent you, when there is no money for these bloodsuckers to make, is like wiggling your toes at a hurricane. Never going to happen, and is hard to prove. Just reflect on this. How many male nurses have you encountered, in say, hospice?? In my several decades of experience, not ONE MALE NURSE. I applied at one hospice place, seasons hospice, but the 'talent recruiter', told me they were seeking other candidates. I have Bachelor's degree in education as well as a two year associate's degree in respiratory therapy and they were 'actively seeking other candidates'. I still have the rejection voice mail from a certain Stacey and have been tempted to post it on youtube. Those of you who work in the field, how many male nurses have you seen in the hospice field? Well if you are honest and have any integrity, you would be lying if you saw any, perhaps one or more. So don't poo poo male nurses who are the last ones hired and the first ones fired. Discrimination is an ugly 2 way street which only affects male nurses because we have no protections and people think we exaggerate or whatever so the flagrant abuses against our supposed rights are routinely raped by others who focus on scratching each other's eyes out. No protections at all from those who are supposed to be ethical enough to trust other people's lives and well being in their hands. Frightening, truly frightening, yet happens on a routine basis
  10. by   heron
    Quote from Truth_be-told
    You could not be more correct. If a female graduate in some male dominated profession was treated the way I was or have been trying to get a career, say law enforcement, I would be have been awarded millions many times over for 1/100,000,000 of the discrimination i had to go through both getting through nursing school and trying to gain employment. It is supposed to be enshrined in the US Constitution against discrimination based on gender, yet this supposed right is routinely violated and there are no checks or means to enforce this. Voice your grievances against what is FLAGRANT violations of your supposed Constitutional rights, and you will be brushed aside or told you are 'too sensitive' as there are virtually no protections against this raping of your rights. Trying to get a lawyer to represent you, when there is no money for these bloodsuckers to make, is like wiggling your toes at a hurricane. Never going to happen, and is hard to prove. Just reflect on this. How many male nurses have you encountered, in say, hospice?? In my several decades of experience, not ONE MALE NURSE. I applied at one hospice place, seasons hospice, but the 'talent recruiter', told me they were seeking other candidates. I have Bachelor's degree in education as well as a two year associate's degree in respiratory therapy and they were 'actively seeking other candidates'. I still have the rejection voice mail from a certain Stacey and have been tempted to post it on youtube. Those of you who work in the field, how many male nurses have you seen in the hospice field? Well if you are honest and have any integrity, you would be lying if you saw any, perhaps one or more. So don't poo poo male nurses who are the last ones hired and the first ones fired. Discrimination is an ugly 2 way street which only affects male nurses because we have no protections and people think we exaggerate or whatever so the flagrant abuses against our supposed rights are routinely raped by others who focus on scratching each other's eyes out. No protections at all from those who are supposed to be ethical enough to trust other people's lives and well being in their hands. Frightening, truly frightening, yet happens on a routine basis
    Actually, I've worked with quite a few men both in hospice, on an AIDS inpatient unit doing eol care and in my current incarnation in LTC - also the site of eol care. There are a myriad of possible reasons as to why you were not hired-including a strong tendency to high drama.

    FWIW, protection from gender discrimination is not "enshrined in the constitution". The ERA was never ratified. Nor do you have a constitutional right to a any job you want.

    However, there are anti-discrimination statutes at all levels of gov't that do include gender. Get in touch with your local EEOC and they can doubtless steer you from there.
    Last edit by heron on Jan 28
  11. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Equal protection under the law is enshrined in the US Constitution.

    Anyway, I'm a male nurse and have been one a long time. I don't think I've been subject to any substantive discrimination. There are sections of nursing that are even more dominated by women than the 93% majority of the profession they hold. However, in many of those portions of nursing men, once assigned, try to get out of. Where I work Long Term care, Floor Nursing and Primary Care are good examples where hardly any men work but honestly I think that s by choice. In other units and roles men appear to be over-represented. In my ER between 1/3rd and 1/2 of the nurses are men. Numbers are similar (if a little less) in our ICUs, Surgical Services, Specialty Clinics & Services and Management. I'm not trying to debated the right, wrong or reasons of this stuff bit it is observed facts that I've noticed.
  12. by   OldDude
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    Equal protection under the law is enshrined in the US Constitution.

    Anyway, I'm a male nurse and have been one a long time. I don't think I've been subject to any substantive discrimination. There are sections of nursing that are even more dominated by women than the 93% majority of the profession they hold. However, in many of those portions of nursing men, once assigned, try to get out of. Where I work Long Term care, Floor Nursing and Primary Care are good examples where hardly any men work but honestly I think that s by choice. In other units and roles men appear to be over-represented. In my ER between 1/3rd and 1/2 of the nurses are men. Numbers are similar (if a little less) in our ICUs, Surgical Services, Specialty Clinics & Services and Management. I'm not trying to debated the right, wrong or reasons of this stuff bit it is observed facts that I've noticed.
    I agree that men simply choose to avoid many areas of nursing. I know it's true for me. The only time I've been discriminated against for being a guy is when I would get called to restrain a combative patient or to help with a heavy lift transfer...and you know what? I'm OK with that on many levels. I think, overall, men are not "nurturers" and want to "fix" it and move on and avoid those environments otherwise.
  13. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Yeah I don't view wrestling with the insane drunk guy or picking up a huge patient as discrimination at all

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