LPN with Battery Charge on Criminal Record-Help

[14yearLPN]

I need some advice, but first let me give you some background information......... I've been married for almost 14 years, in the process of getting a divorce. My daughter (15) has -never- gotten along with her step-father, which has caused innummerable problems, especially in the last few years since she has been a teen (and developing a mind of her own!) I have always felt trapped between them, like walking on eggshells, not wanting to seem unfair to her in my decisions -regarding- her, but not wanting to make mu husband angry either, because he always thought I was too easy on her.

At any rate, this has all come to a head in the last year, and we are now separated and getting a divorce. My daughter and I got into a horrible fight last November, and I slapped her twice. This is the only time I have ever completely lost my temper with her and physically struck her, although I've been tempted other times in the past. (Please, no flames; unless you've lived for the last 3 years with a drug-using, foul-mouthed teen who gets in your face and screams filthy names at you, and you can keep from slapping them) She called the police, and I was charged with battery. It didn't dawn on me that this would show up on my criminal record, as I've never had -anything- on my record before so never worried about it. I was hired for a new job in long term care a couple of weeks ago, and they did a background check, and the battery charge came up. They asked me about it, and I was informed that it was their company policy not to hire anyone with a battery charge on their record. I've worked in long term care for 14 years, have never done anything else, and now apparently this battery charge is going to keep me from working in this field!

I am on a "deferred prosecution" program, meaning I haven't been found guilty, and where the charge will be dismissed and off my record after a year as long as I don't get into any more "trouble". My question is, do all nursing fields do a background check and is this going to keep me from nursing at -any- job until it's removed from my record?? I was told I could apply for a "waiver", but have no idea what that is or how to get one...... can anyone give me any advice? I can't believe that losing my temper with my daughter one time is going to cost me my career for a year, and I can't go that long without working! Any ideas or advice??

[igloorn93]

Jim, until you have walked a mile in her shoes, please keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. She stated very clearly in her message that she didn't want any flames etc. She just wanted advice on how to deal with her liscence issue. Each one of us probably has very strong opinions on each side of the issue here, but that isn't why she posted. To 14Year, I would contact the prosecuting attny and find out why it was made publically available when you weren't convicted of any crime and would also consult an attny and find out where you do stand with your liscence. Good luck to you. You have a lot going on in your life right now.

[James Huffman]

Quote:

Jim, until you have walked a mile in her shoes, please keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself.

Would we apply such a standard ("walk a mile in her shoes") to, say, rape, murder, even assault against a patient? Thanks, igloorn93, but my thoughts and opinions are free, and 14year and anyone else is welcome to ignore them, should they be so inclined.

Quote:

"She stated very clearly in her message that she didn't want any flames etc. "

No one is "flaming" her, whatever that might mean under the circumstances. "I need some advice," she said, and I offered it.

Quote:

"She just wanted advice on how to deal with her liscence issue. "

I gave it. What's the problem?

Quote:

"Each one of us probably has very strong opinions on each side of the issue here, but that isn't why she posted. "

My point was that there were other nurses agreeing that assault was an appropriate way to handle the fight with her daughter. I happen to think that the public reputation of nurses is not helped by such statements. We're not talking about a difference of opinion, this is assault. It's illegal. That's why the police intervened.

Jim Huffman, RN

http://www.NetworkforNurses.com

[healingtouchRN]

sassy is back talking, smart aleck, & disrespecting elders. Not okay around here. Answering yes or no, without saying "ma'am" & "sir" gets the same too.

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by James Huffman

I hate to be the one to rain on this little love fest, but let's get some perspective.

http://www.NetworkforNurses.com

Thanks for being brave. I agree that one should never slap a child in the face. I have a 15 year old who almost deserves it but I haven't. I've come CLOSE!

Yup, counseling is in order for both parties altho my 15 year old will hardly participate. But MY behavior is MY problem.

It sucks this affects her job but it IS very serious! Without the consequences it would continue, and would slapping her change her? It would probably just move the two of them to more and more violence.

Doesn't mean she is a bad person, just needs some help.

[Gator,SN]

James Huffman, I was surprised to see that you have 107 posts on this BB and I do not recall reading any them before.

You gave your opinion and advice and that is what was asked for, so even if you are not the voice of popular opinion, I can respect that. Thanks for speaking up.

I think we can all appreciate it, even if not everyone agrees.

14year, I am really sorry that you are going through this with your family and your personal life. The BON will have more answers for your particular case. I am sure that this is going to take a long time to work through emotionally...I wish you all the best. No judgements from me, just well wishes. If only we could each turn back the clock and make different choices..........

HUGS to you!

Gator

[Agnus]

I would consult with a lawyer. Perferabley one who is skilled with nursing issues. I would consult with the state board or have my attorney do so on my behalf as to where I stand with them. I would find out from the court or my attorney what is a waiver and how to get it.

[powmol]

I lived through a son that went through times like these (from 13 until 17) UGH!!! I have warned my daughter now(14) that I cant survive another child like that, so she better not even start! hahah, hope the threats help! My thoughts are with you.

[itsme]

James, Keep in mind there is a huge difference between a spanking and a beating. How many kids do you have? By the way, I have 2 and thank goodness they behave, and I havent had to spank them.

[James Huffman]

Originally posted by itsme

James, Keep in mind there is a huge difference between a spanking and a beating. How many kids do you have? By the way, I have 2 and thank goodness they behave, and I havent had to spank them.

I have 4 children, not that it's relevant to the discussion. As I pointed out earlier, one doesn't have to "walk in the shoes of someone else" to make a moral or ethical call. I can -- to give an example -- say that theft is wrong even if I haven't been in the same position as the thief.

But we're not talking about either a spanking or a beating. This is slapping the face, which is entirely a different matter.

Jim Huffman, RN

http://www.NetworkforNurses.com

[itsme]

Actually the reason I asked about kids, is because usually folks without children are constantly giving advice on how to raise them. I do agree that slapping in the face is not a spanking, I was just stating an opinion...

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Most every hospital and LTC here does back ground checks because of the liability involved in not discovering that someone may have harmed a patient or whatever. I think there was a case here where a nurse aide raped a patient and had a prior conviction of the same.

I'm not going to judge what you did whatsoever. It was wrong, you know that. But you are not a child abuser, and don't need counseling for abuse. Maybe family counseling to get control of your out of control monster, I mean your teenager, who I'm sure is a good person, just has anger and other issues. Your are just a woman who lost her temper and made a mistake. I've seen the same sort of anger come out in my house growing up. I'm sorry you are now in this situation. Kids are so rotten. I know a teacher who if he looses his temper and raises his voice his student threaten to call Child Protection Services.

Have your daughter get a job and demand she help pay the bills since you can't work as a nurse for the time being.

[renerian, BSN, RN]

WEll I slapped my dtr once. She was extremely hysterical and out of control. She came to once I did that.

I have wanted to slap two of my stepkids that were out of control. My sd put a chair through our bay window and once put a shovel into a bunch of windows during one of her "outbursts". She is 18 and is still refusing help for her anger. My stepson has punched holes in the wall, choked my stepdaughter and I had to get between that lovely mess. let me tell you I have seen alot of violence. Stepson is fine now after therapy.

I feel for you as well.

renerian