Published Jun 2, 2003
14yearLPN
1 Post
I need some advice, but first let me give you some background information......... I've been married for almost 14 years, in the process of getting a divorce. My daughter (15) has -never- gotten along with her step-father, which has caused innummerable problems, especially in the last few years since she has been a teen (and developing a mind of her own!) I have always felt trapped between them, like walking on eggshells, not wanting to seem unfair to her in my decisions -regarding- her, but not wanting to make mu husband angry either, because he always thought I was too easy on her.
At any rate, this has all come to a head in the last year, and we are now separated and getting a divorce. My daughter and I got into a horrible fight last November, and I slapped her twice. This is the only time I have ever completely lost my temper with her and physically struck her, although I've been tempted other times in the past. (Please, no flames; unless you've lived for the last 3 years with a drug-using, foul-mouthed teen who gets in your face and screams filthy names at you, and you can keep from slapping them) She called the police, and I was charged with battery. It didn't dawn on me that this would show up on my criminal record, as I've never had -anything- on my record before so never worried about it. I was hired for a new job in long term care a couple of weeks ago, and they did a background check, and the battery charge came up. They asked me about it, and I was informed that it was their company policy not to hire anyone with a battery charge on their record. I've worked in long term care for 14 years, have never done anything else, and now apparently this battery charge is going to keep me from working in this field!
I am on a "deferred prosecution" program, meaning I haven't been found guilty, and where the charge will be dismissed and off my record after a year as long as I don't get into any more "trouble". My question is, do all nursing fields do a background check and is this going to keep me from nursing at -any- job until it's removed from my record?? I was told I could apply for a "waiver", but have no idea what that is or how to get one...... can anyone give me any advice? I can't believe that losing my temper with my daughter one time is going to cost me my career for a year, and I can't go that long without working! Any ideas or advice??
karbyr
89 Posts
Call the court issuing the charge and find out what that "waiver" is, also, did you ever go to court for this? were you found guilty by a trial of your peers??? Sounds like not.............might want to talk to a lawyer
healingtouchRN
541 Posts
I'll say prayers for you sweetie. My best friend is going thru similar. Kids are so hard to handle. I am sorry this happened to you. Take care.
kids
1 Article; 2,334 Posts
Wow.
In my state a deferred prosecution does not come up on your record unless to fail to meet the terms. You may want to check with the prosecutors office, it may have been reported (in my state it is the state patrol) by mistake and can be removed, you could then ask the potential employer to re-run the check.
Also in my state it is against the "law" for any facility to employ any one with any sort of a battery/assault (or felony), the ONLY exception is misdomeanor assault (DV) and only if it has been >5yrs and the person has successfully completed an anger mgmt program.
BTW, I would have slapped her also.
katscan
180 Posts
I can't tell you how many times my daughter has yelled things at me and hurt me to the core. I is by the grace of God that I haven't slapped her. Her teen years were hell for me. she is 22 now but still has her nasty times. I don't know where todays girls get off abusing their moms. I feel for you-I'm sorry you are going through this. If she had been younger, you would not be in the mess you are in, as kids so get spanked in their younger years. But I should'nt really say that as nowadays the schools provide kids with emergency numbers they can call and "rat on their parents". Good luck.
Spaniel gal
67 Posts
no advice im afraid, but my 14 brother who has numerous 'problems' with drugs ect has caused my mum untold grief, like yourself and my mum slapped him and my mum was charged with GBH. what my mum did was take the court papers with her to job interviews and explained the situation. and she did manage to get a job as a HCA.
im sorry you are going though this
Disablednurse
414 Posts
All LTC facilities are now required by law to check the background of all employees because of the high rate of elderly abuse. I know other places do this but not as strict as LTC. Maybe you could get your lawyer to talk to these people on your behalf. I don't know if this would help or not. Sorry about your problems, will keep you in my prayers.
James Huffman
473 Posts
I hate to be the one to rain on this little love fest, but let's get some perspective.
Facial slapping on a 15 year old is abusive, period. Those who endorse this behavior might want to re-consider. 14year, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, but I would suggest that you consider your ex-husband's thoughts on the matter. (You allude to that when you say, "he always thought I was too easy on her. "
I would not hire someone in LTC who had a battery conviction on their record. I do not blame the facility for not hiring. In the first place, they must consider the needs and safety of their residents, and a battery conviction does not inspire confidence in a nurse's care. But secondly, they must consider their own legal liability in hiring someone with such a record. The facility would almost certainly be sued for negligence if such a nurse were to assault a patient. It didn't dawn on you that this would show up on a criminal record? What did you think would be the outcome of it?
You asked for advice, so here goes:
1. Get a lawyer who can help you sort out this mess. Get some recommendations, and make sure you get a good one, who has dealt with such issues previously. Ask about the attorney's experience over the phone before meeting with them.
2. There are bigger issues than your career at stake here. Consider getting some outside involvement (counselor, mental health professional, family therapist, clergy) to try to get things better with your daughter. I suspect that you both could use it.
3. I would also explore the issue of your nursing license with the attorney. Depending on your state, this may be problematic when you renew your license. And depending on the state, your board of nursing may intervene even before renewal.
4. Finally, don't make excuses for what you did. You were wrong to slap her. It's not the end of the world, and you will come out of this, but consider it a wake-up call. Something is seriously wrong in the dynamics between your daughter and yourself. Use this sad situation to try to mend that very deep wound.
Jim Huffman, RN
http://www.NetworkforNurses.com
im sorry I'll have to disagree, have you been in this situation? I have seen my brother do terrible things and my mum tried her best to do everything and anything. There is a limit to anyone's sanity/ patience/ mental health and at some point its gonna break, and it does break.
14yearLPN, my best wishes to you, I understand fully.
Ps I have had a couple of slaps and I deserved it!! I was a little cow as a teenager (nothing like my brother I might add) and im OK
:roll
I was waiting for this. Tuff situation to be. Yup, I've been slapped by mom too, while in nursing school, I might add. Being sassy & being raised in the area of the country, that is what mom's do. Do I regret it? I regret sassing my mom. Lesson hard learned. But I am so sorry LPN has a record now because of a family dispute. I do agree with Jim, family counciling is needed here. Peace be with you all.
I'm sorry, folks, this is not a family dispute we are talking about. If it were just that, there would be nothing to discuss, as the police would not have been involved. This is assault, pure and simple. I'm not trying to make 14year feel worse than she already does (and I suspect she has deep regret that she did it), but this was wrong. Facial slapping is not excusable, and I am not really happy that some nurses publicly defend it.
healingtouchRN what is sassy? being rude?