I'm not sure I'm cut out for this

Nurses General Nursing

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Quick note - I put this in General Nursing because I want to talk to nurses, not students.

So I'm working on my nursing school apps now, and I'm about done with my pre-req's. I'm a grown up (37) with previous work experience, kids, a husband, mortgage, etc.

I'm starting to doubt my decision to go into nursing. Not because I don't think I can do it - I think I can with the proper schooling and training. In fact, I think I'll make a half way decent nurse.

It's the culture I don't think I can handle. I know not everyone feels this way, so if you don't, please know this doesn't apply to you.

There seems to be this idea that if you're a nurse, you're special. I don't like this. It's as if you're better, you work harder, you're above other people (similar to teachers honestly). This makes me really, really uncomfortable. It's not just how other people view the profession, it's how some nurses view themselves (in my opinion, of course). It really, really bothers me (as it will apply to me, not as it applies to anyone else). I already get the big eyes, and the hand to the throat and the "I could NEVER do that, you're an angel" when I mention my ambition is nursing. It makes me not even want to mention it. I see shirts that say "I bust my a** so I can save yours" - like that's going to be my job, isn't it?

I'm not going into nursing because I've been "called" to do so. I want an interesting job, that pays decently and that I get to keep learning at. I'm not really altruistic. I mean, I like helping people, but it's not the driving force of my life.

I know this probably sounds really dumb, but it's been bothering me for months now. I hate being put on a pedestal, because I guarantee I'm going to fall off. I guess not meeting expectations (regardless of how ridiculous they are) people have of me is a fear of mine. Is this something that I'll get over? Or that will stop bothering me? I hate people thinking that I'm something I'm not.

Sorry for being ridiculous. Sometimes it slips out.

Thanks in advance.

I came into nursing as a second career. I never felt particularly called to it, the education I had for my first career made nursing or teaching the easiest second careers for me to consider. Nursing seemed to have a wider range of opportunities, so I picked that. I finished nursing school five years ago, and I really like being a nurse. I don't feel like I'm a better person than others for being a nurse, so I don't project that and no one has initiated any sort of conversation to that effect. I'm a person doing my job just like they're people doing theirs. Just because my job revolves around providing care to others doesn't mean it's better. I wouldn't be interested in being a civil engineer, but we need them otherwise our bridges will fall down. Other people aren't interested in providing care for people, I do that because it's what I'm trained to do. If you don't think it's for you clinically, that's one thing. But I wouldn't dismiss a career based on what someone else might or might not think.

It's not necessarily based on what other people think, it's more based on doing the profession justice, if that makes sense. I was questioning if I had what it takes to live up to what I (erroneously) thought would be expected of me.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Thanks! I have worked as an aide before in med/surg, pre-op, post-op and in LTC and I currently volunteer in the NICU at the hospital I'd like to work at, so I've spent lots of time in hospitals and around nurses. I know it's what I want to do.

I just had a bad moment after a few comments were made to me in quick succession and needed a bit of reassurance. I just need to find my niche, just like anything else in life.

Onward!

It has been my experience with you as a poster that you generally have your head screwed on pretty well. Which isn't to say that I always agree with you, but I respect you. So if we could help you through your existential crisis, I'm proud and happy to have contributed.

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Nursing is an interesting, challenging and flexible job where you not only GET to keep learning; you HAVE to. It's stable pay, good working conditions (indoors with heating or cooling as the season demands and generators for when the lights go out) and the benefits are pretty good. Plus you get the respect of people who know enough about what you do to respect it. Big eyes and hand to the throat are uninformed opinions, and I tend to disregard those.

If you're worried about being put on a pedestal, don't. What do you care what the average joe out there thinks or doesn't think about your chosen profession? If your husband and kids respect your choice, and perhaps your parents and siblings and best friends, other peoples' opinions don't matter. If it bothers you, tell people you're a flight attendant or, as I did for many years, you work at Accelerated Genetics collecting bull sperm.

Nurses ARE special -- in the same way that pharmacists, plumbers, teachers, electricians, first responders and senior staff seargants are special. We're not SPECIAL -- and the opinions of those who think that we are matter how much to you? Enough to change your plans, your major, your career?

Nurses who view themselves as super special because they're nurses, nurses with "the calling" and nurses who wear the T shirts you describe outside their bedrooms . . . Not people who's opinions of me or my career choices interest me. You may have to work with some of them, but you're going to have to work with "interesting people" no matter what your career choice.

Just develop that dark sense of humor, and try not to take life, your work or yourself TOO seriously. I hope this helps.

I have so much respect for you and all your wisdom and grace. Thanks so much for your words.

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It has been my experience with you as a poster that you generally have your head screwed on pretty well. Which isn't to say that I always agree with you, but I respect you. So if we could help you through your existential crisis, I'm proud and happy to have contributed.

I must need more sleep - you made me tear up. Thank you, Ruby.

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You are not the only one. I am newly licensed after years of prereqs and graduating with my ADN, currently in a BSN program, and I can barely bring myself to apply for jobs that are sure to stress me out physically and mentally. Thankfully, whether or not my family eats does not depend on me getting a job as a nurse, and at this point, I may make a better Uber driver than an RN. I'm afraid to say much else, just because this is the -internet- afterall.

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Specializes in ED, Cardiac-step down, tele, med surg.
Quick note - I put this in General Nursing because I want to talk to nurses, not students.

So I'm working on my nursing school apps now, and I'm about done with my pre-req's. I'm a grown up (37) with previous work experience, kids, a husband, mortgage, etc.

I'm starting to doubt my decision to go into nursing. Not because I don't think I can do it - I think I can with the proper schooling and training. In fact, I think I'll make a half way decent nurse.

It's the culture I don't think I can handle. I know not everyone feels this way, so if you don't, please know this doesn't apply to you.

There seems to be this idea that if you're a nurse, you're special. I don't like this. It's as if you're better, you work harder, you're above other people (similar to teachers honestly). This makes me really, really uncomfortable. It's not just how other people view the profession, it's how some nurses view themselves (in my opinion, of course). It really, really bothers me (as it will apply to me, not as it applies to anyone else). I already get the big eyes, and the hand to the throat and the "I could NEVER do that, you're an angel" when I mention my ambition is nursing. It makes me not even want to mention it. I see shirts that say "I bust my a** so I can save yours" - like that's going to be my job, isn't it?

I'm not going into nursing because I've been "called" to do so. I want an interesting job, that pays decently and that I get to keep learning at. I'm not really altruistic. I mean, I like helping people, but it's not the driving force of my life.

I know this probably sounds really dumb, but it's been bothering me for months now. I hate being put on a pedestal, because I guarantee I'm going to fall off. I guess not meeting expectations (regardless of how ridiculous they are) people have of me is a fear of mine. Is this something that I'll get over? Or that will stop bothering me? I hate people thinking that I'm something I'm not.

Sorry for being ridiculous. Sometimes it slips out.

Thanks in advance.

I don't do nursing because of a "calling" per se. I enjoy helping people, a challenging work environment, and a big pay check.

Nursing is a VERY HARD job though and you will earn every penny!

Altruism is not required in nursing. However, I don't think if I was rewarded by the act of improving lives I would stay in nursing due to the level of difficulty.

Just thought I'd share my reasons for going into nursing and what keeps me doing it.

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Thanks! I have worked as an aide before in med/surg, pre-op, post-op and in LTC and I currently volunteer in the NICU at the hospital I'd like to work at, so I've spent lots of time in hospitals and around nurses. I know it's what I want to do.

I just had a bad moment after a few comments were made to me in quick succession and needed a bit of reassurance. I just need to find my niche, just like anything else in life.

Onward!

You're well prepared then! Like you said, finding your niche is what it's all about and nursing offers one of the widest scopes for that over most any other career. Toss the bad apples aside and take a look again at the barrel, I'm sure you will find that the experience was an exception rather than the norm.

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I have never encountered being put on a pedestal. Usually, it's quite the opposite. I'm treated like crap. The only people I find that think highly of me and the profession are my family members.

I don't expect to be treated any better, but I do think I should be respected. I feel I should be respected for my knowledge and ability. We respect other professions for their knowledge and abilities, why not nurses?

I think once you make it through school and get on the job, you will have a better grasp on the realities of the job. And I will tell you, nursing is a whole different type of exhaustion and stress. It's not just mental, it's not just physical. It's absolutely a boatload of both. I've worked 24 hours straight at other jobs and I can tell you it's nothing compared to a 14 hour shift at my job now. I come home beat, and it carries over into the next day. Put a few of those in a row together, it can take 2 days to recover.

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When you mentioned being put on a pedestal, there is one thing to compare it to that you probably understand.

Parenthood as an abstract concept sometimes lives on a pedestal. As an actual parent you don't live in the abstract realm of "parenthood", you live in the real, down and dirty world of childcare and there is no idealizing that.

Now the outsider view of nursing is like parenthood. The working nurse lives with patient care(which is a lot like childcare sometimes).

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It has been my experience with you as a poster that you generally have your head screwed on pretty well. Which isn't to say that I always agree with you, but I respect you. So if we could help you through your existential crisis, I'm proud and happy to have contributed.

Same here, Miss Ruby Vee - Jen, I have always enjoyed your posts. Good luck! You've got loads and loads of support here on AN.

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Specializes in Med Surg.

Ignore it. Don't participate in the parts of the culture you don't like.

You'll be fine. In fact I find that nurses that hang on tightly to that "nurses are special" stuff tend to be the most dissatisfied.

Because for some, no matter how many accolades they get, it isn't enough.

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Thanks again all of you - I really do appreciate it! I feel much better. Talking it out really helps get my thoughts in order.

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