I want the love of my life BACK!

  1. admin note: this thread has been closed and the thread starter has had their account banned from posting on this forum. please note, that these forums are not to be used for research or manipulation of anykind.

    to all readers:
    i am posting here with no intention of returning to this board to read the responses! but i am going to use this as a venue to sound off! i am writing from an emotional state so please excuse any errors in advance.
    my wife took her nclex today! and i am so proud of her she has worked hard for this day and i pray to the lord she passes! but this has come and a great price to my family. over the last two years of this program (and i use the term loosely, it would seem more like a cloister than a progam to me) my wife has gone from a caring loving, independent, and kind person to a brutal, self absorbed, and mal adjusted "nursing candidate". she seems more aggresive than i was coming out of basic years ago. i have tried every form of encouragement i know. i have taken on the roles of primary care for our young son, i have worked extra hours so she did not have to work, given up my graduate scholarship, and tended to our small business with no help or cooperation.
    i am frequently bombarded with " i am to stressed today!" and her constant grade grubbing and borderline psychotic rages over "the nclex,nclex,nclex!!!!!"
    she has frequently ignored my son and neglected her personal well being all for the sake of this d_ _ n career!
    i wish she had never met that nurse recruiter at our local hospital! she is a brillant woman with 93 hours of a chemistry bs and i am sadden by her career choice. at first i was beaming with pride that my wife wanted to help ppl and provide us with stability of insurance and benefits while our family business grows! but now i just feel lost! (and a little resentful too!) i love my wife i will never leave her but when she storms out of the house cursing and yelling becuase she only finished "75 questions! " and rebukes my attempts to comfort her i can only say i wish she had never set foot in the nursing program! i will not bother to return to this site my wife constantly surfs, becuase frankly i appreciate anyone with a kind thought or a paryer and could give a rats whisker about those who will inevitably fault me for being some jerk husband!

    admin note: this thread has been closed and the thread starter has had their account banned from posting on this forum.
    Last edit by brian on Aug 17, '03
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  2. 56 Comments

  3. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Glad i'm not married.
  4. by   husband_of_RN2B
    PLease pray my wife passes her NCLEX! GGod bless
  5. by   AMV
    I wonder if she has always handled stress this way? Sounds more like a situation that might be unique to her rather than just because she is in nursing school. Nursing school IS stressful, but then so is so many other things.

    If things are really as bad as you say and you truly care about your marriage, I would suggest marriage counseling before they get worse. And if she won't go, you really should consider going yourself so that you can at least have some tools to deal with this new situation in your life.

    Hopefully though the pressure will be off for her now - at least somewhat. Where will she be working (hospital and if so what unit?)
  6. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Already have.

    Reason why i said that i'm glad i'm not married is that i was just DATING someone and still had problems concerning my "attitude" and grouchiness. I'd warned him how it was going to be, then he gets irate and irritated that i don't have the time for him or that nursing was consuming my life.

    Life is a headache enough for me without getting into too many details about it. School complicates that. In order for me to succeed with school, my immediate family is put first, then school, then work, then the s/o. I told him this is how it would have to be and he left, he didn't like it. He wasn't supportive, and i never expected him to stick around.

    I am assuming that if you are a married student (i am not, this is what i've seen within my own class), the roles wind up getting thrown on the parent/spouse that is NOT in school. That parent winds up being the breadwinner solely, primary caregiver to the children, etc. Words do not describe how hard this is on everyone involved. The key is to realize that the student won't be like this forever.
  7. by   MandyInMS
    Ahhhhh the joys of marriage...it's a very stressful time for the both of you..but keep those lines of communication open...wait until a time when you BOTH are somewhat relaxed/not running 10 diff directions and just talk to her..just as you are frustrated and tired, I'm sure she is too..nursing school is a b*tch..but so is raising a family/working..just calmly tell her how you are feeling and I bet she'll do the same....use this rough time to grow stronger, not further apart...best wishes to you both
  8. by   Gomer
    I smell something fishy about this posting. Why would a husband post on this site? And such a long posting too.

    If the posting is really from her husband, she has my deepest sympathies. And hopefully a good divorce lawyer.
  9. by   renerian
    That is odd. I am not sure why he joined but I DO feel for you as a spouse. All I can say is in order to pass school has to be the top priority. It was for me. Do you think things will get better? She might try getting some stress therapy coping sessions. I can also say after school I ended up divorcing my husband but I was in a bad relationship. I can say that people do pass when the machine shuts off after 75 questions.

    How long has it been since she/you all had some time away?

    renerian
  10. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    My ex cruises this site. He hasn't posted, that i know of. But i know he has read posts.
  11. by   Rustyhammer
    Now that school is over you can expect somewhat of a normal life to return.
    -Russell
  12. by   iliel
    there are two sides to every story.
  13. by   husband_of_RN2B
    Gomer:
    You were exactly the post I was waiting for thanks!! You set a record and add validity to my arguement! you are right there is something rotten but it is not mine or my husbands marriage! Your participation was greatly appreciated!
    Social scientisit
  14. by   iliel
    Originally posted by husband_of_RN2B
    Gomer:
    You were exactly the post I was waiting for thanks!! You set a record and add validity to my arguement! you are right there is something rotten but it is not mine or my husbands marriage! Your participation was greatly appreciated!
    Social scientisit
    what the????

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