I want the love of my life BACK!

Nurses General Nursing

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to all readers:

i am posting here with no intention of returning to this board to read the responses! but i am going to use this as a venue to sound off! i am writing from an emotional state so please excuse any errors in advance.

my wife took her nclex today! and i am so proud of her she has worked hard for this day and i pray to the lord she passes! but this has come and a great price to my family. over the last two years of this program (and i use the term loosely, it would seem more like a cloister than a progam to me) my wife has gone from a caring loving, independent, and kind person to a brutal, self absorbed, and mal adjusted "nursing candidate". she seems more aggresive than i was coming out of basic years ago. i have tried every form of encouragement i know. i have taken on the roles of primary care for our young son, i have worked extra hours so she did not have to work, given up my graduate scholarship, and tended to our small business with no help or cooperation.

i am frequently bombarded with " i am to stressed today!" and her constant grade grubbing and borderline psychotic rages over "the nclex,nclex,nclex!!!!!"

she has frequently ignored my son and neglected her personal well being all for the sake of this d_ _ n career!

i wish she had never met that nurse recruiter at our local hospital! she is a brillant woman with 93 hours of a chemistry bs and i am sadden by her career choice. at first i was beaming with pride that my wife wanted to help ppl and provide us with stability of insurance and benefits while our family business grows! but now i just feel lost! (and a little resentful too!) i love my wife i will never leave her but when she storms out of the house cursing and yelling becuase she only finished "75 questions! " and rebukes my attempts to comfort her i can only say i wish she had never set foot in the nursing program! i will not bother to return to this site my wife constantly surfs, becuase frankly i appreciate anyone with a kind thought or a paryer and could give a rats whisker about those who will inevitably fault me for being some jerk husband!:(

admin note: this thread has been closed and the thread starter has had their account banned from posting on this forum.

Gomer:

YOU are assuming we have not tried this from a male perspective! And a steak dinner says I am chronologically older than you! and we tried this on boards ranging from chiropractors to DO's, male and female! we have tried a variety of nursing sites as well and we seem to get a great deal of hostility from all health care practitioners!

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Specializes in Cardiovascular.

What about my post that the "husband" should ask his wife to go for counseling? At least I had suggested that he go for counseling even if his wife didn't so he would have the tools to deal with the situation.... I just am not sure at what point you were trying to make... That we ALL attacked the man because the majority of us are women? Also consider doing what the other poster said in going to a MD board and making the spouse male rather than female and vice versa for nursing...

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oh and a final note:

to all those male or female who have posted empathy for these fictious parties you are all wonderful ppl and I for one am glad you are out there to care for the sick and injured! God bless you! For those that feel they were toyed with or played with we are sorry and hope you understand these observations do have merit. And my point is still proven! onto the hypothesis!

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When my husband was in nursing school that was his life. During pre-reqs we saw each other and still had some time together but once the program started he was totally checked out.

He was a grouch and self centered and all the things he isn't in normal times. I was worried that that would never return but once he got out of school and got his RN life settled back down to normal and now is much better because of his being able to have a new career.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Well, I wish I hadn't put as much thought and care into my response as I did. I was trying to help someone I believed was in distress, as my DH and I were so long ago, and now I feel like a fool. Next time I won't be so trusting.:nono:

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AMV:

No no no... let me qualify my earlier statement we have found some biased from both genders for instance we posted as female and complained of our husbands emotional lability since beginning work at a trauma center. We recieved multiple post from males and females who claimed to work in trauma centers defending the man and attacking his "spouse". although gender bias is part of the issue here it is only a part of the larger observation. Mostly we are looking at health care worker hostilty. Particularly during the formal educational period. And as I have maintained (although this is not my thesis) there are a lot of hostile healthcare workers out there. If anyone has found this unethical well no more unethical than some of the remedies to the intial "posters" perdiciment.

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mjlrn97:

You are not a fool but you are very compassionate! thank you! as were other posters! I do not want anyone to feel foolish! But to those who are so quick to respond hostily maybe you should look at your intial reactions to sentive subjects. just a thought... thank you everyone for your time! I hope you can all move on!

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Originally posted by husband_of_RN2B

Gomer:

YOU are assuming we have not tried this from a male perspective! And a steak dinner says I am chronologically older than you! and we tried this on boards ranging from chiropractors to DO's, male and female! we have tried a variety of nursing sites as well and we seem to get a great deal of hostility from all health care practitioners!

You are feeling hostility because you (1) lied in your original posting, (2) you made an assumption that there was little or no empathy based on what? my response? you are correct, I have no empathy when it comes to fiction, (3) you are giving scientific research and theory a bad name (even a research novice would know an anonymous bulletin board could not be considerered an appropiate group to study)

Now please, little boy or girl, go find something better to do with your time.

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
Originally posted by husband_of_RN2B

Gomer:....................... there is something rotten but it is

not mine or my husbands marriage! Your participation was greatly appreciated!

Social scientisit

hey husband........why did you write the above sentence: "not mine or my husbands marriage" if YOU are the husband. Shouldn't you have written "not mine or my wife's marriage"?

Are you 4 real or what? :confused:

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

I knew I smelled spoiled fish! :nono:

Actually, my first reaction to your first post was:

And your point? :chuckle

I just thought you were another whiny husband who couldn't stand the heat in the kitchen because the wife wasn't the one posting her point of view as well. We all know there are two sides to every marriage.......husband has his side, and wife has hers. Of course, I'm more prone to sympathize with a wife than I am a husband. And as Celine Dion sings in one of her songs:

And THAT's the way it is! :D

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you know what makes me sad about all of this...there are so many people who really live in that situation, people who really have to deal with that, and when you post something for what ever purpose, you seem to be making light of it.

I agree with 3rdShift..the tough love I've gotten here has enabled me to get my head back on straight at times.;..and I thank eveyone here for being honest and upfront!

You set ppl up, what did you expect to happen, you looked for the answer you wanted and you read into it.

Do not say that Gomer may not be empithetic to pts because of the untrust that was detected in you're false post...I'm sorry, but you have no idea how these ppl will care for someone!

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Gomer:

If you would read I am only using this to illustrate to a colleague a point I was trying to make about a research project we are working on! get angry if you want but you'll only drive up your B/P. oh and if you are so much above all this why do continue to respond? oh and one more thing if you think i am such a child well "I am rubber you are GLUE"...;)

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