I couldn't believe my ears!!!! - page 2

I work in a pediatric office with a female pediatrician that sees a large number of adolescent females. Well, today, we had a 17 year old come in with a problem that had resolved, however, she said... Read More

  1. by   smk1
    what these teens need to realize is that they will only have a "baby" for about 12 months, then they are off and running with a bratty tot and then due to their lack of parenting skills, (i know i am generalizing but for the most part...) a horribly- behaved kid, who is no longer "oh so cute". The teen will no longer be the center of attention anymore the way that they were when pregnant and with a "baby". Free stuff stops arriving in the mail, baby showers and presents cease and the reality of child raising will set in. Why oh why can't some people see the big picture? These event junkies will ride their high out until they can't get any mileage out of it anymore, and then desperated for more attention, they will repeat the cycle to feel that "high" once more. This is truly sad, and these people need professional help. (note that I'm not every teen mom or dad will be this way, but A LOT are!)
  2. by   ZAHMAN
    Quote from Hellllllo Nurse
    lol, Zahman. That's the point I'm making with that line- it's not whether the glass is half full or half empty- it's what's in the glass.
    Hellllllo Nurse,

    AAAHA, said the blind man to the deaf mute! Well, just fill mine up!

    ZAHMAN
  3. by   unknown99
    Quote from alk3rainbow
    How could you tell the girls parents without breaking confidentiality? While I do agree that this girl is being extremely naive and stupid, I know MANY women who had children as a teenager and they are wonderful parents who are not on welfare. Teen pregnancy is definately something that should be avoided, and its appalling that some girls are actually trying to get pregnant, but to say that all teen mothers become drains on the system isn't right. Most do, but not all...specially if they have family supporting them both emotionally and financially.

    In most states, the parent has a right to know, even under the hippa law, as long as the girl is under the age of 18. A child under the age of 18, in most states, cannot even be treated unless parental permission is given.
    Last edit by unknown99 on Jul 7, '04
  4. by   alk3rainbow
    Quote from sagarcia210
    In most states, the parent has a right to know, even under the hippa law, as long as the girl is under the age of 18. A child under the age of 18, in most states, cannot even be treated unless parental permission is given.
    Ah I'm just a student nurse, so I'm still learning about Hippa laws. I just assumed that would be confidential. I'm surprised it isn't.
  5. by   camay1221_RN
    What these girls also need to understand, is their motives for having a baby are very selfish! They aren't thinking about the child, only about their needs for personal gratification, which is, very short lived!

    I have teased my husband at times telling him I would be a great surrogate! I loved being pregnant, and I loved my deliveries, but I DON'T want another child to raise. I love my three with all my heart, but man oh man, they can certainly keep me hopping!

    And, as you said, they certainly don't look beyond the baby.


    Quote from smkoepke
    what these teens need to realize is that they will only have a "baby" for about 12 months, then they are off and running with a bratty tot and then due to their lack of parenting skills, (i know i am generalizing but for the most part...) a horribly- behaved kid, who is no longer "oh so cute". The teen will no longer be the center of attention anymore the way that they were when pregnant and with a "baby". Free stuff stops arriving in the mail, baby showers and presents cease and the reality of child raising will set in. Why oh why can't some people see the big picture? These event junkies will ride their high out until they can't get any mileage out of it anymore, and then desperated for more attention, they will repeat the cycle to feel that "high" once more. This is truly sad, and these people need professional help. (note that I'm not every teen mom or dad will be this way, but A LOT are!)
  6. by   camay1221_RN
    This is not the case with adolescent girls who seek care from their MD for birth control. We are not allowed to disclose any 'personal' information to a parent if the young lady asked that it be that way. If a mom asked the Ped if her daughter is sexually active, the Ped cannot divulge that information. Screwed up? Yes, but the thinking is, the girls would not seek care for fear of their parents finding out. That's why many young girls go to Planned Parenthood, so there are no claims that go on there parents insurance.

    We had a mom last week tell the Ped she wanted her daughter put on BC. Ped told mom that it is the girls decision to make, and she can't force it on her.




    Quote from sagarcia210
    In most states, the parent has a right to know, even under the hippa law, as long as the girl is under the age of 18. A child under the age of 18, in most states, cannot even be treated unless parental permission is given.
  7. by   ADNCyn
    If we all were properly "planned" the MAJORITY OF US WOULD NOT BE HERE, Thank goodness for human error, in which GOD can STILL and always MAKE PERFECT, life is a GIFT from GOD, though human eyes can't seem understand. What GOD has started HE is certain to complete it... God Bless us all, for if I were perfect, I would not need the LORD... Thank YOU GOD for being GOD and GOD all by himself, and for being LORD of my life. Pray more and judge less, it could be your teenage daughter, teenage son's girlfriend, or your teenage niece, cousin, or anyone else's you know and love. What was meant for evil, GOD still gets HIS glory in all things with HIS perfection.
  8. by   camay1221_RN
    ADNCyn,

    I totally respect where you are coming from in your post, but when I continue to hear of women killing their own children, which possibly happened here recently, I have a hard time not passing judgment. May the Lord forgive me for that!
    There was an 18 month old who was left alone with a 2 1/2 year old, while the mother and aunt went out and got drunk and high. The 18 month old was stabbed to death, and from what is being reported, it is at the hands of the mother or the aunt!

    Yeah, you're right, it may be my daughter some day, but I pray I am raising her ,and my sons too for that matter, to have the self respect and self esteem, that they don't feel the need to fulfill their lives by having a child for selfish reasons.

    Thank you for the thought provoking response.



    Quote from ADNCyn
    If we all were properly "planned" the MAJORITY OF US WOULD NOT BE HERE, Thank goodness for human error, in which GOD can STILL and always MAKE PERFECT, life is a GIFT from GOD, though human eyes can't seem understand. What GOD has started HE is certain to complete it... God Bless us all, for if I were perfect, I would not need the LORD... Thank YOU GOD for being GOD and GOD all by himself, and for being LORD of my life. Pray more and judge less, it could be your teenage daughter, teenage son's girlfriend, or your teenage niece, cousin, or anyone else's you know and love. What was meant for evil, GOD still gets HIS glory in all things with HIS perfection.
  9. by   ulianka
    I've consciously got pregnant at 17. Me and my future husband agreed to keep the baby IF I get pregnant, and.... had sex w/o any precautions. We have obviously succeeded and looking back and analyzing "why?" I can give you an answer. Too many broken families. Me and my hubby came from very disfunctional, broken families and subconsiously wanted the stability, comfort and love. I guess it was my 18th birthday presrent - my first son Matthew, who became the represantation of our wishes. It will be 8 years since we're together, so I guess we were fortunate, but on numerous occasions I was aware that although I felt myself as "mother" and "wife", for most of the people I was simply a "knoked-out" teenager who will probably end up on a social security benefits as a single mother....... and it hurt knowing that people perceived me like this.
  10. by   BittyBabyGrower
    It isn't only the thing for teens to want to get pregnant, but in our area, it is how many kids a teen dad can father...usually gang related. Nice.

    As for most teen moms...for you that had then young and succeeded...good for you! But I can tell you that most teen mom's don't give a hoot...especially if the baby has something wrong with it, is very preemie..they can't take it home and show it off, it isn't perfect and they have no idea what they are in for. And it is even better when there are decisions to be made and the family doesn't want anything to do with that baby because it is so horribly sick or deformed. Then it always becomes In God's Hands.

    And where I work, we can't give info to minors parents either unless that minor says it is okay.
  11. by   Altra
    Quote from ADNCyn
    If we all were properly "planned" the MAJORITY OF US WOULD NOT BE HERE, Thank goodness for human error, in which GOD can STILL and always MAKE PERFECT, life is a GIFT from GOD, though human eyes can't seem understand. What GOD has started HE is certain to complete it... God Bless us all, for if I were perfect, I would not need the LORD... Thank YOU GOD for being GOD and GOD all by himself, and for being LORD of my life. Pray more and judge less, it could be your teenage daughter, teenage son's girlfriend, or your teenage niece, cousin, or anyone else's you know and love. What was meant for evil, GOD still gets HIS glory in all things with HIS perfection.
    There is a world of difference between "oops" (I was an "oops" myself - my parents were 19 & 20 and unmarried at the time) and a 17-year old who can't even verbalize the reasons she wants to have a baby.

    Yes, it could be my teenage daughter someday. But in her 17 years of life up until that time she will have been continuously, actively PARENTED (as in the verb to parent) and will be well aware of the wide open world of choices available to her for her future. I'm quite confident that she will have a firm grasp on the fairly basic fact that 17 is not the time to start a family. So if it happens, it will be a very, very unfortunate "oops" and not the dysfunctional immaturity that was discussed in the OP.
  12. by   alexillytom
    Quote from camay1221_RN
    What these girls also need to understand, is their motives for having a baby are very selfish! They aren't thinking about the child, only about their needs for personal gratification, which is, very short lived!

    I have teased my husband at times telling him I would be a great surrogate! I loved being pregnant, and I loved my deliveries, but I DON'T want another child to raise. I love my three with all my heart, but man oh man, they can certainly keep me hopping!

    And, as you said, they certainly don't look beyond the baby.
    While I don't advocate teenage pregnancy, I do believe the decision to bring any child into the world is a selfish one. We bring a child into the world because we, the parents, wanted it. The problem comes in the ability to be unselfish while raising these children. Which, I think requires a certain amount of maturity and responsibility. Sadly, I have seen very few teenagers who have the levels of either that would make them good parents. If they did, they would honestly think twice about having sex, let alone a baby. Honestly, I only know one teenage mother who was successful at parenting her children. That is my mother-in-law. She was truly a great mother, who raised great kids, and is an exceptional grandmother. Thankfully, she had a wonderful support system.
    Last edit by alexillytom on Jul 8, '04
  13. by   NiteShiftNut
    the thing that strikes me most about this whole topic is the fact that this girl is 17, and she is still seen by a pediatrician. that says it all right there. if you are still being seen by a pediatrician, your parents are still footing the bill for your healthcare costs, and you are living under their roof-you have no business bringing a life into the world. i just feel so strongly about this one. has she graduated from high school? how will she handle raising a child and going on to further her education? does she have a stable job? how will she pay for basic needs for this child? diapers, formula, clothes, medical care, vaccines, dentist visits, daycare, preschool, school supplies.....the list goes on and on. if these are questions she has no answers to, then absolutely she needs to wait. a child is a blessing from a higher power, i agree. however, when you make a conscious choice to receive that blessing knowing full well that you are not ready to take on the responsibility, that is just selfish. a child deserves every opportunity we can give them in life. to raise a child requires currency of all forms, emotional, financial, spiritual. this 17 year old is not ready to have a child, she is obviously still a child herself.

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