I am sick and tired of being asked "Who is watching your kids?" - page 4

So who watches your kids while your here? I mean, do you really think they ask my dh as he delivers his mail, so who is watching your kids? NOOOOO!!! I don't make excuses for my career, I worked... Read More

  1. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Quote from Jerico
    Why does it bother ANYONE if someone asks "who's watching your kids"?

    Just curious.
    This question ranks up there with asking your co-worker "When was the last time you had a BM?"

    In other words, it's personal.
  2. by   NurseCard
    I get asked that question a lot too. I also get asked "So who watches your little girl while you sleep?" (I work nights). I'm like, DUH, I HAVE a husband!! People seem to think that husbands are incapable of watching the kids, somehow. Everyone I work with knows that I am married. They all act like I'm a single mother. Heck even if I was single, it's none of their business who is watching my kid!!!
  3. by   Jerico
    I have four kids. I've worked, gone to school, had sitters: all that.

    If someone should ask me "Who is watching the kiddos...." I'd probably PAUSE and say: "Why do you ask?"

    I don't automatically get my panties in a twist over nothing. People are curious about all kinds of things.

    And Marie, BTW: In nursing you are VERY likely to have a coworking ask you "When the last time it was you had a BM?". :imbar

    Nurses say "crap" like that all the time to each other!:chuckle
  4. by   kadokin
    Quote from military spouse
    I sometimes ask, but only because I'm always on the lookout for a good babysitter
    I have always assumed this is why people were asking me, b/c they had child-care issues themselves and were wondering how others coped w/it. But some people can be awfully hurtful when they say things such as "I don't care what I pay for child-care. My kids are important to me (as if mine weren't)", turns out this woman cheated on her husband and lost primary custody. I guess it wasn't as important as she made it out to be. I despise people who waste their energy making themselves look superior.
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    And Marie, BTW: In nursing you are VERY likely to have a coworking ask you "When the last time it was you had a BM?". :imbar
    And one of the few instances where my reply would be "none of your **** business."
  6. by   Kelly_the_Great
    Quote from Jerico
    In nursing you are VERY likely to have a coworking ask you "When the last time it was you had a BM?". :imbar

    Nurses say "crap" like that all the time to each other!:chuckle
    Yep, any other profession, you can call in w/ diarrhea and it's a pretty good excuse (if you're just needin' a mental health day or whatever). You don't have to fake malaise, recovering sore throat, etc.

    Not in nursing! They ask all about your stool, frequency, consistency, abd. pain, etc...lol

    My mom was a nurse and growin' up I was so jealous of my friends who could just tell their moms they had diarrhea, stomach cramp, vomiting, etc. & get to stay home. Not my mom, if we said we had something like that, we better not flush the evidence b/c she wouldn't believe us (course me & my brother were bigtime liars too... ). My bro even used my little sis's baby food green beans one time for his evidence!
  7. by   Nursesdh
    Quote from Jerico
    Why does it bother ANYONE if someone asks "who's watching your kids"?

    Just curious.
    As the father involved, when people ask my wife this question, what does that mean to me? It tells me that people don't think I am capable of caring for my children. These days there are more and more stay at home Dads as women are starting to get an equal pay scale (I know that men are still payed better, but for the life of me I can't figure out why) in our circumstances, my job allows me to stay home with the kids for a couple of years, while my wife has the opportunity to work on the career it took her 4 years of schooling (which we are still paying for) to achieve. I am a good parent, and just wish that society were such that it could be assumed that a father could possibly provide a nurturing home for his children, sure I still need my wife to provide some of that nurturing as well (no steryotype, women are really more nuturing!) It's a team-work thing, and I feel that I am not being recognized as part of the team by others.
  8. by   Kelly_the_Great
    Quote from Nursesdh
    As the father involved, when people ask my wife this question, what does that mean to me? It tells me that people don't think I am capable of caring for my children. These days there are more and more stay at home Dads as women are starting to get an equal pay scale (I know that men are still payed better, but for the life of me I can't figure out why) in our circumstances, my job allows me to stay home with the kids for a couple of years, while my wife has the opportunity to work on the career it took her 4 years of schooling (which we are still paying for) to achieve. I am a good parent, and just wish that society were such that it could be assumed that a father could possibly provide a nurturing home for his children, sure I still need my wife to provide some of that nurturing as well (no steryotype, women are really more nuturing!) It's a team-work thing, and I feel that I am not being recognized as part of the team by others.
    First, let me say, Nursedh, I think you're doing a great thing and yours and your children's lives will be enriched b/c of it.

    My husband is also the primary caregiver of our daughter. He is older than myself (though a lot more energetic...lol) and has been able to retire from the workforce. That being said, we also have a farm with a lot of livestock which requires constant work (a lot more than 40 hrs. a week).

    We are so fortunate he is able to be home with our daughter after school, pick her up from school, take her to school, homework, at all of her school functions. Plus she gets exposed to so many things you just can't get at a daycare or with a sitter, you know?

    It's sad though b/c I feel like most ppl do not see his contributions in our daughter's life to be as significant as it is. At the same time, I think ppl look at me as a neglectful mom b/c I can't always be at everything like the stay at home moms.
  9. by   skislalom
    I actually had a patient a few weeks back...we were discussing children...I have 4. I jokingly told him about all their accomplishments and that they were spoiled. He told me they couldn't possibly be spoiled because I was "here" instead of with them. HELLO, #1 they are all in school during the day, #2 my kids have NEVER been to daycare, my mother in law (who spoils them rotten and loves them to death) is their babysitter. I have a girl that comes over in the mornings to get them ready and drop them off at school...they've known her thier whole lives so, she's like family.

    And Dad's that "babysit"...that has always been a pet peave of mine...they don't babysit any more than "I" do when I'm being thier mom!

    ~T
  10. by   ShayRN
    Quote from Nursesdh
    As the father involved, when people ask my wife this question, what does that mean to me? It tells me that people don't think I am capable of caring for my children. These days there are more and more stay at home Dads as women are starting to get an equal pay scale (I know that men are still payed better, but for the life of me I can't figure out why) in our circumstances, my job allows me to stay home with the kids for a couple of years, while my wife has the opportunity to work on the career it took her 4 years of schooling (which we are still paying for) to achieve. I am a good parent, and just wish that society were such that it could be assumed that a father could possibly provide a nurturing home for his children, sure I still need my wife to provide some of that nurturing as well (no steryotype, women are really more nuturing!) It's a team-work thing, and I feel that I am not being recognized as part of the team by others.
    EXACTLY MY POINT!!!!:angel2:

    My dh is a WONDERFUL father. He gets very offended when people ask if he is "babysitting today." "Nope, they are mine!" I don't care if someone is asking if they need a sitter because they are new in town or their kids are getting older and they are comfortable enough to go out for a night. I get upset when someone trys to make me feel less of a mother because I work. Shoot, I live in Northeast Ohio, I need a second job just to pay my heating bill this winter.
  11. by   angel337
    I am amazed that in 2005 people can still be so critical and judgemental of women who work outside the home. the days of joan cleaver are gone. I feel that most people work because they HAVE to, not because they want to. there are a few exceptions where some people work part time just to get out the house for a few hours, and usually those jobs are not as demanding as nursing. If i could be a stay-at-home mom for at least 2 years, i would, but i cannot afford it, even though my husband makes good money. I work 2 12's a week now that i have a new baby and it actually works out perfectly because i am still at home 5 days out the week and my mother in law or husband have the baby when i am working. after i had the baby sooo many of my coworkers were asking "are you going to still work full time?" "you are going to stay at home with your new baby aren't you?" "are you working because you need the benefits?". i realize that you cannot change the way people think, and IMHO a working mom can be just as great as a stay-at-home mother. In the end we all have to do what is best for our families.
  12. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I am amazed that in 2005 people can still be so critical and judgemental of women who work outside the home.
    I'm not, really. Even though it's 2005, there are people that haven't come out of 1955 yet.
  13. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I guess I fail to see this as an offensive question-----maybe a MYOB thing, but why get so offended? Really, I see bigger fish to fry.

    By the way, when I work, dh "watches" my kids---I work perdiem for a reason, to be able to work around the dh's schedule. Each of us has to find what works, really.

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