I am sick and tired of being asked "Who is watching your kids?" - page 3

So who watches your kids while your here? I mean, do you really think they ask my dh as he delivers his mail, so who is watching your kids? NOOOOO!!! I don't make excuses for my career, I worked... Read More

  1. by   skhercules
    I don't have kids, yet, but that is silly for people to ask. I think it's wonderful for moms who can stay home and who want to stay home. My husband and I have discussed it, and not only will our quality of life be better if I don't stay home, but I don't think I'd be happy staying home. I derive a great deal of enjoyment and self esteem from working, I've worked hard for my degree, and I want to use it. A wonderful thing about nursing is that I can work 3 days a week and be home 4. I am excited about having kids, but it doesn't make me a bad person to choose to work either. People shouldn't ask about stranger's personal arrangements.
  2. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    If anyone would ask if my husband were "babysitting" i'd reply "he might get a chance to babysit IF he ever got done with PARENTING."
  3. by   TweetiePieRN
    Quote from skhercules
    I don't have kids, yet, but that is silly for people to ask. I think it's wonderful for moms who can stay home and who want to stay home. My husband and I have discussed it, and not only will our quality of life be better if I don't stay home, but I don't think I'd be happy staying home. I derive a great deal of enjoyment and self esteem from working, I've worked hard for my degree, and I want to use it. A wonderful thing about nursing is that I can work 3 days a week and be home 4. I am excited about having kids, but it doesn't make me a bad person to choose to work either. People shouldn't ask about stranger's personal arrangements.
    I have a child and totally agree with what you say here!!! This is exactly what I am doing...I work 3 days a week with 4 off. Daddy takes care of the baby when I go to work since I work pms and he works days.

    I have gotten alot of grief off of "parenting boards" online about me going to work. I am not SAHM material! Sure, I can keep the house neat and cook and all that...but my husband does roughly half, so there is no need for me to be home and not work. I stayed home with our little bundle of joy until he was 5 months old and was very ready to get back to work. I love my job too and its also a way to connect with adults. You crave that really badly when you are home all day with the baby.

    I think it is great that you and your husband have already started discussing this. I believe that it makes me a much better mother and wife to have other things going on in my life. Plus, it makes me a more interesting person in general Don't get me wrong...family is definitely #1, but work is important to me too.
  4. by   Underbedmonster
    I just got a horrible case of the giggles when thinking about the dog staying with the kids. "Well, we have this really well-trained St. Bernard--he even drags them to the bus stop every morning!" :roll
  5. by   Nursesdh
    The dog watching your kids is great:chuckle If they seem concerned, just mention that it worked for the Darlings (in Peter Pan). Thier nanny was a dog, and she worked very hard to care for those kids!:smiley_ab
  6. by   sjrn85
    Tempting to say, "You know, you're absolutely right. You'll have to find another nurse...I'm going home to be with my kids."

    It never occurs to these lunkheads that no one would be there to take care of them if the nurse were all home tending to their husbands/wives/children/celebrating holidays, etc.
  7. by   Jerico
    Why does it bother ANYONE if someone asks "who's watching your kids"?

    Just curious.
  8. by   sjrn85
    Maybe because it is none of their daggone business. Maybe because the people who've asked usually go on to say how mothers should be at home with their children.

    Who do they think is going to take care of the patients? Elijah's ravens?

    (I don't even have kids, but I find those sorts of questions very rude.)
  9. by   ShayRN
    Quote from Jerico
    Why does it bother ANYONE if someone asks "who's watching your kids"?

    Just curious.
    Because it is usually said in a very condesending tone, followed by "my wife NEVER worked" or "Oh, I just could NEVER leave my kids to go to work, I want to raise my OWN kids." I even had one "gentleman" say to me something along the lines of, well YOU choose to play, so I guess now you have to pay the price. EXCUSE ME?

    Besides, even if I COULD stay home, I would CHOOSE to work at least part time. I love what I do. I even had people in my circle of friends pass comments about women who work, right in front of me. It is just so rude.
  10. by   Kaseyrn2b
    ".............someone actually once asked me if my husband (who has a M-F existance) got a babysitter on weekends I worked so he could "relax and enjoy his weekend"

    This happens to me too! I work nights and weekends, part time, around my hubby's schedule. I usually go in AFTER putting in a full day at home w/ 2 kiddos ( and I'm pg w/ #3) I just got asked at work the other day 'Isn't your husband too tired to babysit?" Arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:angryfire

    Soemone asked why does it make you mad? Because often, though not always, people are implying it's not 'OK' to work, some even feel 'at all' when you have kids. I guess its better to let it go, I usually do, but still, its OK to vent here
  11. by   military spouse
    I sometimes ask, but only because I'm always on the lookout for a good babysitter
  12. by   mandana
    Quote from Jerico
    Why does it bother ANYONE if someone asks "who's watching your kids"?

    Just curious.
    It's rarely asked in a genuinely curious way. When it is, it doens't bother me at all.

    In a society where mothers are constantly vilified for their choices (breast or bottle? Cosleep or not? Work or stay at home? Daycare or stay at home? Let them watch some TV, any TV will ruin them for life), one tends to get a wee bit defensive about the personal, prying questions in regards to their children. Instead of this being a genuinely curious question, it often feels like a set-up for eye-rolling at best and a full-on confrontation at worst.

    It's pathetic, and while I am confident in my parenting choices, I really resent being asked to discuss them amongst anyone but my closest friends. I often even find myself defending my choices in my own family - and that really sucks.
    Amanda
  13. by   ShayRN
    Quote from military spouse
    I sometimes ask, but only because I'm always on the lookout for a good babysitter
    Well, in that case, I ain't gonna give up the name of my good sitter, lmao.

    Seriously, the people I work with on a day to day basis, that doesn't bother me. It is the ones who say it like I should apoligize for my choice to work.

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