How not to say the wrong thing.

  1. How not to say the wrong thing...... LAtimes.

    I just read this sent by my DS. What an easy and understandable way to get a point across. I can see uses for this with patients and their visitors. It is something we know and yet we come across it so often. Someone sees an accident victim with tubes and swelling and tells how it is so hard to look at. A quick removal of this person and a quick review of the material in the circles may save hours of re teaching the victim about "temporary" and how not to take in others issues.

    Sometimes support is the best medicine. Other times protecting the patient from the need to support is critical. This might help someone.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Apr 9, '13 : Reason: Fixed link
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    About TopazLover

    Joined: Jun '08; Posts: 7,997; Likes: 23,035
    retired; from US


  3. by   jmdRN
    If AKY's link doesn't work for you up there, try this link , it's a direct link to the LA Times story she linked.

    And thanks for sharing AKY. The message of that article is sooo true. So many of us, myself included, just don't know what to say, or to whom to say it.
    Last edit by jmdRN on Apr 9, '13 : Reason: added reply to post
  4. by   dkmamato3
    Great article .. thanks for sharing
  5. by   Sadala
    I like it.
  6. by   Ruby Vee
    I loved it! I'm NOT sending it to my friend in Nevada, although I'd love to. When I got breast cancer last year, it seems that Aggie was under a great deal of stress. She sent out an email to what seemed like everyone in her address book -- including ME -- apologizing for not keeping up with their emails lately and explaining that she'd been under a great deal of stress because a friend of hers was just diagnosed with breast cancer.

    Yeah, Aggie. Let me excuse you from returning my email personally. I understand how you're all stressed out because I have breast cancer!
  7. by   bleverett
    I am going to utilize this circle, Thank you!
  8. by   VivaLasViejas
    Gaaaaahhhhhhhh! I remember that when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder last year, several relatively close friends said things like, "Oh, my mom/sister/aunt/niece/BFF is bipolar, and she just has a terrible time---she was hospitalized FIVE TIMES this year alone....." or "So, you're telling me that MY friend is crazy??!!"

    Worse, everyone tells you what to do: "You just need to pray more, I talk to the Lord all the time and He takes away all my anxiety" or "Your family needs you, you have to stop being selfish and think about them." Sheesh!

    I like this, AKY, thank you for sharing it.
  9. by   wannabecnl
    I love this! So very true. Well, except for where Viva thinks her diagnosis is not all about me, but besides that, good stuff...
  10. by   amygarside
    Thanks for sharing this. It is really a good eye opener.
  11. by   nurseprnRN
    Dealing with a failing mother and a sibling who has HCP but knows nothing at all about medicine, nursing, rehab, I find this a useful concept except for one thing: Sibling believes self to be closest to mother, leaving the rest of the siblings in an outer circle. Not true, but how to deal with this dynamic using this as a conceptual framework? really IS all about me. Really. Get a hold of yourself, fergawdsakes. You too, Ruby.
  12. by   TopazLover
    GrnTea, Great question. I don't have a flip answer but will look around for an answer.
  13. by   DizzyLizzyNurse
    Love this!!!

    I think most people consider us nurses as the biggest circle of all lol.