How does it make you feel?

Guest717236 · Dec 7, 2011

Nurses are people first. She has no duty to tell you. It maybe that

now that she is a patient is in an acceptance phase with her health problems.

Why not care for her as the person she is, does it make a difference

what line of work she did in the past?

PintheD · Dec 7, 2011

Maybe she assumed you knew she is a nurse?

Maybe in her current role of "patient requiring care" she feels her "caregiver" role negated?

You may never know. Human beings are complex creatures, to say the least!

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Dec 7, 2011

I'm not saying you're wrong to feel deceived as you are entitled to how you feel...but I don't see any deceit on the part of the patient by not telling you. I agree with the posters that said that unless it has a direct bearing on their illness and/or treatment (e.g., coal miner, cop with PTSD on psych unit) the patient's occupation is not necessary to know. Nor should not knowing affect your standard of care.

However, I will admit that when I find out my patient is a nurse I feel a little pressure, because I have to wonder if she's evaluating my caregiving and comparing it to her knowledge base as a nurse...same as I've done at times when I've been the patient :)

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Dec 7, 2011

I make it a point NOT to tell healthcare providers that I am a nurse. I want to be treated like any other patient. I have seen inpatients not checked on as often because "oh, she's a nurse, she knows when to call for me"...as if we are able to assess ourselves! I have also seen patient education skipped because the pt was a nurse. I still want everything explained to me in laymen's terms when it comes to my own health or the health of my loved one.

You mentioned that you wished she took better care of herself or something along those lines...maybe she is ashamed at her state of health because "as a nurse she should know better", or she is afraid of running into that mentality. Which, based on your response, her fear may not be unfounded.

Maybe her nursing expertise had nothing to do with her current ailment, so it was irrelevant to her condition. Whatever her reasoning, she did not want to tell you, and that is her right. You should continue to care for her as you would any patient. The fact that you are offended that she did not tell you this concerns me a bit. Perhaps you are too close emotionally?

brownbook · Dec 7, 2011

Yikes, I can't believe no one has mentioned the FACT that whenever medical personnel become the patient instead of the provider EVERYTHING goes wrong.

I can almost guarantee whenever I start an IV and the patient tells me they are a Dr. nurse, EMT, etc., I will blow that IV. I would never tell anyone I was a nurse, at least until after the IV is in.

There should be an All nurses thread about when health care providers became patients and all the things that go wrong.

msjellybean · Dec 7, 2011

I'm not saying you're wrong to feel deceived as you are entitled to how you feel...but I don't see any deceit on the part of the patient by not telling you. I agree with the posters that said that unless it has a direct bearing on their illness and/or treatment (e.g., coal miner, cop with PTSD on psych unit) the patient's occupation is not necessary to know. Nor should not knowing affect your standard of care.
However, I will admit that when I find out my patient is a nurse I feel a little pressure, because I have to wonder if she's evaluating my caregiving and comparing it to her knowledge base as a nurse...same as I've done at times when I've been the patient :)

Same here.

I don't make it a point to tell people that I'm a nurse; but when I visit a specialist or convenient care, the staff usually figure it out pretty quickly, based on my language.

prettymica, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN, APRN, NP · Dec 7, 2011

I agree I think I have become emotionally bonded and yes I do wonder I she has been evaluating me at every visit. Also it is her right to tell or not to tell me I am not denying that fact and I always give my patients the best care to my ability regardless of the profession. I will state that she did say something this past week once that puzzled me and my curiosity wanted to ask her last occupation. But without question I just think I feel this way because of all the personal things she shares that I don't ask and the personal things that she has asked of me... It just puzzled me that she would skip that subject, and she has all rights too.. I have no intentions of telling her that I know, if she wants to tell me I'm sure she will.. I just feel indifferent..

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Dec 7, 2011

Because I absolutely hate taking care of nurses or nurses' families, I assume most nurses feel like me. I have an unreasonable fear the nurse/pt is judging my abilities, and I'm not passing the test.

Therefore I don't divulge that unimportant piece of information about myself.

The way I see it, keeping mum about my profession is a kindness to the nurse caring for me.

It is not an attempt to trick or deceive. Just trying to spare another nurse the nerves I feel while caring for one of our own.

allnurses Guide · Dec 7, 2011

I don't mean this as snarky, but I am wondering if you are having hurt feelings about things not being revealed to you by this patient (not clinical concerns, but feeling betrayed/decieved) if you have, perhaps, stepped over the line in terms of professionalism, without realizing it?

psu_213, BSN, RN · Dec 7, 2011

How does it make you feel when you find out your patient is a nurse? I feel deceived... Trust me this is one of my favorite patients and I'm just curious as to why she didn't tell me. She still doesn't know that I know and she has been a nurse since before I was born. It just saddens me that she is not concerned about her wellbeing. I know she has other issues and maybe she felt if she told me I wouldnt treat her like my other patients??? All my other patients let me know up front that they are a nurse or have nurses in the family. Am I wrong for feeling deceived??

No reason to feel deceived at all. A lot of nurses do not tell others that they are a nurse when they are a pt in the hospital...and it has nothing to do with you. If she does not tell you that she is a nurse, why does this equate with not being conerned with her wellbeing?

Your feelings are your feelings and I have no right to question them; however, these thoughts of yours make my totally confused.

psu_213, BSN, RN · Dec 7, 2011

Because I absolutely hate taking care of nurses or nurses' families, I assume most nurses feel like me. I have an unreasonable fear the nurse/pt is judging my abilities, and I'm not passing the test.
Therefore I don't divulge that unimportant piece of information about myself.
The way I see it, keeping mum about my profession is a kindness to the nurse caring for me.
It is not an attempt to trick or deceive. Just trying to spare another nurse the nerves I feel while caring for one of our own.

I was taking care of a patient in the ER. She told me that her husband (who was sitting right there) was a surgeon. Sure increased my anxiety when I had to access her port using sterile technique. :eek:

On the other hand I have had family members tell me they are a nurse when it is clearly not the case (many are just looking to get preferential tx--not gonna happen!). I even had one pt tell me "I KNOW THAT...I'M A NURSE." Umm, yeah, don't wear your work badge that identifies you as a CNA while you tell the RN that you are a nurse. No, I didn't say anything about it to the pt, but it kinda ticked me off (oh well, different discussion that has taken place many, many times on AN).

Anyway, I would just as well not have them tell me they are a nurse.

prettymica, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN, APRN, NP · Dec 7, 2011

This is a home setting patient, yes I maybe have crossed the professional line by listening to her divulge personal info to me. but if it makes her feel comfortable before, during and after her care.. am I wrong? When I stated that not being concerned with her well-being its only small things i see when i am there.. And know that we know this is case.. wouldn't her asking me personal info would be wrong on her part..if we are both nursing and know the line of professionalism?