Hello everyone, I'm currently a nursing student and am seriously reconsidering my choice to be a nurse because I just can't seem to "leave it at work", as they say. Well, leave it at clinicals is more like it.
Every time that I've come home from a clinical day I've felt unhappy and thought about some of the patients that I'd worked with for days
. I feel badly for them, to be in such a dependent state and suffering, with no light at the end of the tunnel. They'll pop into my mind suddenly, usually when I'm trying to do something that I enjoy, and I'll feel a pull down from the sadness.
Before starting nursing school
I had no problem managing my emotions. I was happy and in good spirits 99% of the time and laughed more easily than anything. Now I feel like a bomb ready to blow, and it can go either to crying due to sadness or crying due to frustration. Things that never bothered me before in my everyday life now have the potential to set me off with no real warning. My feelings just spill from the hospital into every other part of my life.
I don't feel like it is the schooling itself. Academically I do very well and while I study a fair amount, the material isn't daunting to me, just time consuming. I'm very lucky in that I still have enough time to work 30 hours and not feel as thought my grades will suffer.
I've come to dread my clinical days. The day beforehand I get feelings of anxiety and I am NOT an anxious person. It is strange because I enjoy them while I am there and like to try new skills, plus I just love when I am able to help a patient out or just hold their hand and smile and have them smiling back. I just have accidently conditioned myself to dread them based on the feelings after I leave the hospital.
Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that could help me? Or should I hang up the stethoscope before I dive off the deep end?