How to deal with mean old men

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in Med Surg.

I was wondering what I should have done in this situation. It was start of night shift and I heard about this very demanding guy who was being really rude. The day nurse had two patients like this and was at wits end. I noticed his call light was on and I went in the room and he just starting yelling about how his IV has been beeping for a half hour and nobody is addressing it. He goes on this tirade of how us nurses pretty much suck and the doctors are a 12. He also says "I don't care what my nurse is busy with she needs to take care of me when I need it. Are there other sick people on this floor (duh) because I don't get why nobody takes care of me. I pay for insurance I'm not a loser patient who doesn't have insurance so I deserve to be waited on hand and foot." At the time I was kinda in shock about how rude he was. I just let him sort of get it out and I was trying to be super kind but I just wanted to scream back. He did end up calming down thankfully. I didn't want him to keep abusing the other nurses like this but I just don't know what to say to these type of patients. Any suggestions?

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Specializes in ICU.

"Well Mr Smith, when you speak to us like that, it makes us not want to come in here at all."

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

So far this has never failed:

"Is that how your mother raised you to act?"

or

"I know you weren't raised to talk that way."

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Specializes in Med Surg.

He said he's a pharmacist and people are always yelling at him when waiting in line at CVS. I think he was dying for his turn to complain haha.

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Specializes in ICU.

"I am sorry sir, your insurance entitles you to medical care, yes, but not a maid to wait on you hand and foot. Turns out my 8 other patients have insurance and are also entitled to medical care, and none of them are being waited on hand and foot."

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This is a hospital not a hotel! Your insurance is paying to have your medical needs addressed...it is not paying for you to treat staff like garbage!

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

I know what I'd like to tell them, but this is a PG rated show.....

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Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.

Honestly I have had a lot of experiences with dealing with old men like that. A tirade like that can usually be used as a segway into a conversation about what they are really feeling under there.

Can usually start with "Well thats no good" to their complaint. Point out what you are going to do for them and ask if xyz makes them feel xyz. Or if you think he can handle a joke "Oh shoot we DID have you down as a loser with no insurance let me get that changed with a wink"

Sounded like you let him say what he needed to say and he calmed down. Putting your own 2cents in about how you feel about the way he is talking doesn't really help your patient most of the time.

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Can I call the supervisor for you? :)

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

I had two patients like that so far. I can't stand to listen to patients rant about my colleagues, so when they stopped to take a breath, I said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm here now. What do you need?"

It seems to work...at least it did for these two patients of mine. I think they got the hint that 1) I'm not going to join in on criticizing my colleagues and 2) I would rather go about getting what they want, rather than hearing about what they didn't get.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

I tell them that when they are ready to stop yelling at me they can ring.Then I leave.

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Specializes in ER.

I tell them that unfortunately being insured doesn't dictate what kind of care we offer our patients as we are health care providers and must prioritize care accordingly. I would also say something like "you know what i mean since you are a pharmacist. I mean you don't fill scripts for people with insurance first do you? You have compassion and give advice to those who aren't insured and need antibiotics right?" I bet he clams right up.

If you can't get a handle on him notify the charge nurse and then the nursing supervisor of a potential customer service problem so it doesn't come back to haunt you in your review.

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