Well, I have not wanted to become an RN from the beginning, so maybe I understand how you feel. The bottom line to me is that self worth/esteem, respect and pride in what you do must come from within, first. I have been in the nursing field in many aspects from CNA, Medical Assistant, Home Health Aide, PCA, etc...and sort of knew from observation what each branch of nursing entailed (at least from MY perspective), and see that RN nursing is not for me. It would not do myself, the patients or the facilities I may work for to pursue something because everyone else thinks that I should. I have also seen too many situations that I often have wondered if I were the nurse in charge, how would I have actually handled that? And the answers did not come.
You say that you were hurt by some experiences. Would you like to share what they were to give more insight? Did you expect that nursing was more than what it really is? Or that it doesn't seem to be the caring, compassionate career that you originally thought it was? I can say that for me, in some instances. I found that many times, doing the right thing depended on who was on duty. How do I get to advocate for the patient or myself, get the point across and not be blackballed by it? How do I protect the patient, or myself? In any event, you do what is best for yourself. No reason to live up to the Joneses, financially or scholastically if that is not your desire.