Has Nursing hardened you?

Chiggysmom · Apr 26, 2012

It wasn't really necessary to be so hard on her! Geezzzzzz!

Chiggysmom · Apr 26, 2012

Yeh me too! I was thinking "WOW what a great question and topic" and . . . so-o Uber relevant to the atmosphere of today's nursing!

Chiggysmom · Apr 26, 2012

Yes, as soon as I read this I thought to myself "it's NOT the patients (well . . . NOT most of them, there are those that can really try your patience and empathy) but the system and administration that makes a difficult job even more difficult and almost impossible to do at times and also hardens our hearts to our original calling. I think most of us that went into nursing had our hearts in the right place but little by little it's whittled away by the more and more ridiculous policies and regulations that seem to take us away from the bedside and the patient and place us in front of the computer longer and longer and for what? To satisfy the insationable bureaucracies!

ksdmom · Apr 26, 2012

There comes a time when everything is sucked out of you. If you do not not take the time to refill it will make you cold and hard. I find my self having to put things into perspective quite often. My job is to care for my patients. In order to do that I have to be filled with what it takes to do that. I find my peace with Jesus. There is no other way.

Simple question: Has nursing hardened you?
I'm currently a student, and I have noticed that some of the older clinical instructors are very cold, harsh and indecent towards some of the nursing students, myself included. I know some PCAs. One certain PCA, a 31 year old nursing student w/military experience, referred to some of the nurses on her unit as " cold *******" and said she was afraid after many years of working in the field (after graduating and passing the NCLEX, of course), she will end up just like them. Many of the other nursing students have voiced similar experiences, saying that many of the nurses on their unit were just rude or plain cold.
This is NOT to attack nurses, but after I had a dentist appointment, I noticed a stark contrast between the happier, less stressed out RDHs from the overly stressed and very cold nurses that I have come across. This is NOT to say that all nurses are like this, I have met some really nice ones (and a couple of really lovely clinical instructors), but in general, the longer one has been in the field of nursing ,the colder and less compassionate one becomes...from my observation. Statistically, 1 out of every 7 nurses will end up with a drug/substance problem (according to my lecture notes)...could it be d/t the stress of nursing?
So, I was wondering, to all the nurses out there who have been in the field for a long time, how has nursing changed you as an individual? Have you found yourself becoming colder and more detached or more warm and compassionate? Has nursing made you depressed? And finally (and most importantly) do you regret nursing?
I have found that I have lost apart of my confidence and self-esteem, and nursing seems to have an ugly side to it that really is disappointing. Quoting someone I love, "Upon visiting your nursing school, I have never met a more hostile, unwelcoming, cold environment and I can only imagine what you go through when I'm not around." And this person is fifty.
Again, this is NOT an attack, but just an observation and things I've experienced first hand and have been told, and I'm wondering about this!

Chiggysmom · Apr 26, 2012

Yeh I talk quietly to myself muttering under my breath "I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me"! You're so right. IDK how people do this job without His guidance and strength. I want to just crumble sometimes under the pressure but I'm able to get through it.

tyloo · Apr 27, 2012

simple question: has nursing hardened you?
i'm currently a student, and i have noticed that some of the older clinical instructors are very cold, harsh and indecent towards some of the nursing students, myself included. i know some pcas. one certain pca, a 31 year old nursing student w/military experience, referred to some of the nurses on her unit as " cold *******" and said she was afraid after many years of working in the field (after graduating and passing the nclex, of course), she will end up just like them. many of the other nursing students have voiced similar experiences, saying that many of the nurses on their unit were just rude or plain cold.
this is not to attack nurses, but after i had a dentist appointment, i noticed a stark contrast between the happier, less stressed out rdhs from the overly stressed and very cold nurses that i have come across. [color=#ee82ee]this is not to say that all nurses are like this, i have met some really nice ones (and a couple of really lovely clinical instructors), but in general, the longer one has been in the field of nursing ,the colder and less compassionate one becomes...from my observation. statistically, 1 out of every 7 nurses will end up with a drug/substance problem (according to my lecture notes)...could it be d/t the stress of nursing?
so, i was wondering, to all the nurses out there who have been in the field for a long time, how has nursing changed you as an individual? have you found yourself becoming colder and more detached or more warm and compassionate? has nursing made you depressed? and finally (and most importantly) do you regret nursing?
i have found that i have lost apart of my confidence and self-esteem, and nursing seems to have an ugly side to it that really is disappointing. quoting someone i love, "upon visiting your nursing school, i have never met a more hostile, unwelcoming, cold environment and i can only imagine what you go through when i'm not around." and this person is fifty.
again, this is not an attack, but just an observation and things i've experienced first hand and have been told, and i'm wondering about this!

i think how you worded your post could be a reason that you are getting the responses you consider "condescending." what i highlighted is where i can perceive that there is some divisive action. i am simply rewording what you said, "in general the longer one has been in the field of nursing, the colder and less compassionate one becomes...from my observation....but this is not to say that all nurses are like this,,,,i met some really nice ones." do you kind of see where some of the old nurses may feel a bit irked?

you are making an jab but then kinda taking it back by saying it doesn't apply to all and it is not an attack. it is like making an insult but then asking for advice. it goes both ways because i roll my eyes when i read a post about, "a nurse that has experience with all these young nurses with attitudes." not cool clumping a general group of nurses to a specific behavior! nurses need to not generalize and form divisive groups. it is unfortunate because i don't know, if as a profession, we will ever learn this. the generalizations have to stop. lets build each other up. i don't think you were intentionally being divisive. it is hard to articulate on a post because sometimes an intention is misread. when i read that part of the post i was thinking to myself, "oh boy," opening a can of worms.

in general, i truly believe you were looking for some good feedback but how you got to the point- asking for the feedback- rattled some nurses (the longer ones that has been in nursing...that become cold and less compassionate). keep in mind the nurses that have invested a career (a few decades) are not going to be receptive to an opening storyline that says how bad a few experiences have been for a pca (works with cold ******* and nursing students who are terrorized that one day they will be cold). and these few decade invested nurses are going to have an opinion and are going to be passionate about their profession. this is like picking a scab off an old wound.

now i only have a decade in but what i remember in nursing school, is not much. had some nice clinical instructors and had a, "mean," clinical instructor (as described by the prior class) that actually wasn't mean at all- just had elevated expectations of her students. one day i reported to a clinical at an icu where i was stuck with an experienced nurse and well guess what? she didn't want me- i could read her face, nonverbal expressions, and the her mannerisms as she was interacting with the charge nurse. it was clear to me she didn't want me. oh well life went on just a few hours of being ignored. no i was not bruised nor battered from this experience in fact i forgot about it until now. i didn't take it personal. you make your experience the best you can. yes you are reliant on others, to a certain degree, for your learning (talking about once you graduate and licensed as a new grad or new specialization). i have found though that if you have the baseline knowledge, an open mind, eagerness, and enthusiasm you will have plenty of good preceptor and coworker experiences.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Apr 27, 2012

I dunno why some posters got so upset at the question. i think it is a common one, I wondered about it myself esp after I saw changes in myself. I rememeber in clincials a few times I almost cried /felt like crying because of how much a pt was suffering - ex homeless man getting an amputation, pt in her 30s who had stage 4 cancer, and her family had no clue. I remember both pts crying all the time. I do not get teary at all now, rarely if ever, how could anyone do their job if they did ? You know what happens when your patient dies in nursing- or goes bad fast and ends up in the ICU? You get another admission/transfer with all the work that comes with it , sometimes a belligerant drunk here with pancreatitis who is npo and YELLING about a sandwhich etc and how long he had to wait in the ER. You better wipe the memories of the grandfather on hospice and his tearful family away fast.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 27, 2012

to all those who have attacked her based on an honest inquiry you must surely be the one's who are the nasty, mean nurses she is speaking of. i am an 8 year nurse and have seen some decent nurses but have seen far more mean-spirited, high-minded, egotistical, non-compassionate nurses in the settings i have worked in. not all nurses are this way but unfortunately a growing majority are. i know that the interest in nurse bullying is growing and for sound reason. it is not just a "poor victim" mind-set. there is impending legislation regarding putting a stop to these types of unproductive behaviors. she is not just taking up valuable seating for more "worthy, grateful" students. it is not the patients, it is the haughty nurses. if you are offended by this, you are part of the problem.

the original poster may have been making an honest inquiry, but she was making it in a somewhat offensive way. at least, it was offensive to those of us who have actually been practicing as nurses and have been called "mean" or "nasty" over and over by students or pre-students who really have no idea. as someone upthread stated, we've been younger and prettier and more idealistic but some of you have never been older and tougher and perhaps wiser. yet.

while the interest in nurse bullying is growing, i don't believe it's because nurse bullying is growing. i think it's a different mindset -- maybe "a poor victim" mindset and perhaps a whiner one -- than the mindset of those nurses in my generation who were also new once. i don't think the profession was any more -- or less welcoming then than it is now. but i do believe that those who are coming into the profession now have had less instruction in dealing with negative feedback or with people who, unlike many of their parents, do not believe that they are the center of the universe. speaking for myself only, i know that many members of the generation after mine were shocked to find out that there are adults out there that don't think they're wonderful just for showing up.

perhaps i am one of the nasty, mean nurses she's speaking of. but on the other hand perhaps i am merely someone with a whole lot more life experience than the op (or you) attempting to answer honestly a question that was posed in a somewhat accusatory fashion.

MattNurse, MSN, RN · Apr 27, 2012

I don't recall ever being called mean or nasty in my nursing practice by students or new nurses. Yet when I started as a male nursing student in 1971 I recall being bullied and told by many nurses that it was not acceptable for me to be a nurse, bullying is definitely not new to nursing, I have witnessed it for years upon years. I also don't think mean and nasty nurses are exclusively experienced/older nurses, my particular unit a few years ago on day-shift had a bunch of 1-2 year nurses in their early to mid-twenties with bad attitudes.

My best advice to nurses who feel they are being bullied, young or old, align yourselves with the other nurses who do not have this behavior and report the behavior to management. Management should not tolerate this behavior, write an incident report and submit it through the proper channels.

Pinkmegan · Apr 27, 2012

To all those who have attacked her based on an honest inquiry you must surely be the one's who are the nasty, mean nurses she is speaking of. I am an 8 year nurse and have seen some decent nurses but have seen far more mean-spirited, high-minded, egotistical, non-compassionate nurses in the settings I have worked in. Not all nurses are this way but unfortunately a growing majority are. I know that the interest in nurse bullying is growing and for sound reason. It is not just a "poor victim" mind-set. There is impending legislation regarding putting a stop to these types of unproductive behaviors. She is not just taking up valuable seating for more "worthy, grateful" students. It is not the patients, it is the haughty nurses. If you are offended by this, you are part of the problem.

My point exactly!!!!

Nursingluv101 · Apr 27, 2012

I haven't even been a nurse a year and I can already feel I'm more harden or destination has started to occur. I feel empathy for my patients but there are times that I feel like I'm so over whelmed with task or stupid paper work that I can't even taken it all in, so I don't and

Just keep moving! I'm tired of fake nursing clicks too! As a float I see all the drama, I feel bad for some of the nurse who are caught up in that BS. I actually feel most of the MDs aren't that bad in comparisons to some of the other nurses. Wow talk about catty!

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Apr 27, 2012

i work in a long-term care facility. most of the elderly residents are addicted to pain meds. they watch the clock just so they can tell us "it's time for another pain pill". when you have so many residents prescribed pain meds every 4 hr. it can really get on your nerves. many feel we should drop everything to give them a pain med exactly at the 4 hr. mark.

have you considered the fact that they are not addicted (addiction, by definition, is using for the high, with always increasing does for the high) but habituated (body used to having med on board) and in pain? they may have long since given up on the idea that they will get their pain treated adequately, but the tradeoff is that they have to have their ordered medication as soon as they can.

it gets on your nerves? karma would have you in that bed with that pain, and see what nerves that gets on. maybe you should look into a pain management consult and get them on more effective management. this could involve bid long-acting meds at 12 hour intervals, with prns for breakthrough pain..and there's an algorithm for altering the 12-hour dose if prns are needed >4x/day. you owe it to your residents to know better.

sorry, i have no patience at all for inadequate pain relief and ignorance about pain management. of course, that's because i'm old and lack compassion. @@