I'm currently a student, and I have noticed that some of the older clinical instructors are very cold, harsh and indecent towards some of the nursing students, myself included. I know some PCAs. One certain PCA, a 31 year old nursing student w/military experience, referred to some of the nurses on her unit as " cold *******" and said she was afraid after many years of working in the field (after graduating and passing the NCLEX, of course), she will end up just like them. Many of the other nursing students have voiced similar experiences, saying that many of the nurses on their unit were just rude or plain cold.
This is NOT to attack nurses, but after I had a dentist appointment, I noticed a stark contrast between the happier, less stressed out RDHs from the overly stressed and very cold nurses that I have come across. This is NOT to say that all nurses are like this, I have met some really nice ones (and a couple of really lovely clinical instructors), but in general, the longer one has been in the field of nursing ,the colder and less compassionate one becomes...from my observation. Statistically, 1 out of every 7 nurses will end up with a drug/substance problem (according to my lecture notes)...could it be d/t the stress of nursing?
So, I was wondering, to all the nurses out there who have been in the field for a long time, how has nursing changed you as an individual? Have you found yourself becoming colder and more detached or more warm and compassionate? Has nursing made you depressed? And finally (and most importantly) do you regret nursing?
I have found that I have lost apart of my confidence and self-esteem, and nursing seems to have an ugly side to it that really is disappointing. Quoting someone I love, "Upon visiting your nursing school, I have never met a more hostile, unwelcoming, cold environment and I can only imagine what you go through when I'm not around." And this person is fifty.
Again, this is NOT an attack, but just an observation and things I've experienced first hand and have been told, and I'm wondering about this!
...some of the older clinical instructors are very cold, harsh and indecent towards some of the nursing students.
...referred to some of the nurses on her unit as " cold *******"
...many of the nurses on their unit were just rude or plain cold.
...This is NOT to attack nurses, but ...
... but in general, the longer one has been in the field of nursing ,the colder and less compassionate one becomes...
...1 out of every 7 nurses will end up with a drug/substance problem (according to my lecture notes)...
...nursing seems to have an ugly side to it that really is disappointing.
...Again, this is NOT an attack, but...
Ok so let me clear up exactly where the hostility to the original post is coming from. It's not the honest question that OP has, it's this:
1. If you EVER have to say "I'm not insulting you", "I'm not attacking you", or "No offense intended but..." Then stop there because you already know what you're going to say is insulting.
2. I don't care what career you are into, even preschool teaching has its "cold heartless" people because sometimes people get along with coworkers, and sometimes they don't. They are nice to patients, maybe not so much to coworkers. You can't be loved by everyone. It's a cold hard fact.
3. Nursing instructors have seen what happens when students go horribly wrong. They "know it all" and end up harming patients. Instructors have an intensely difficult job of herding 8 or so students as well as trying to make sure that each patient they take care of is also safe from their mistakes. So As a nurse can you imagine having a load of 16 patients (1st semester students + patients they care for), or even 24 to 30?? Talk about pressure! So when a student misses a potassium pill on a hypokalemic patient, they're not yelling about just missing a "multivitamin", they're upset about patient's symptoms worsening.
Ok that's my 2 cents. Stop assuming everyone is evil and cold and start thinking about they're reasoning. Maybe they don't have time to talk to students because someone is going bad fast, they're dealing with angry family members, or trying to fix mistakes made by someone else on the patients that they have responsibility for despite the students "doing their jobs for them".
But I will hold firm to my observation that healthcare is an "irritable" profession on the whole. Sometimes I wonder if there are just too many people with problems in this business. I get tired of it easily.
I find that on the whole, I don't want to have "friends" in healthcare so much. I felt that from the first week of nursing school - kind of like I knew I'd be glad to "lock the door" of the asylum (hospital) at the end of each day, so I could go back to people I knew who were not so nutty in my real life. That, I felt comforted knowing that people like this were not part of my personal life. There are some medical people I know who share the same thoughts who are my buddies, but, interestingly they did something else prior to healthcare, or started in healthcare and are now working towards something else...
Actually, the nurse bullying is growing. I've observed it growing noticably in the mere 8 years I have been a nurse. I can only imagine what it will be like in the next 10 years. I actually delt with less hostile behavior as a new nurse than I have in the last couple of years as time progresses. Calling people "whiney-er" seems like an accusation as well. People ARE much different than they used to be, and not in a good way. People are much meaner and less respectful than they use to be and this includes a number of nurses. Some nurses, and a growing majority of them as I stated previously, have become extremely competitive and less inclined to work as a team. If we would follow Jesus' advice-"all things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them" and "keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just your own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of the others"-we would contribute to a much improved and team-oriented work environment. Our colleagues as well as our patients would benefit tremendously.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Hardened because of patients? No. Hardened because of constant finger-wagging from people who aren't even nurses telling me that because I'm an older nurse, I've forgotten what my mission is; that I no longer remember what it was like to be a student; that I'm not compassionate enough; that I'm likely to end up a drug addict, etc., etc., etc.? That has indeed hardened me.
Ok so let me clear up exactly where the hostility to the original post is coming from. It's not the honest question that OP has, it's this:
1. If you EVER have to say "I'm not insulting you", "I'm not attacking you", or "No offense intended but..." Then stop there because you already know what you're going to say is insulting.
.
:up:Yeah, NurseonaMotorcycle, you got right to the point of it. If you feel that you have to emphasize (bolding the text) a point that it is not an attack then maybe already your approach to asking for advice is already off its mark. Not all people took offense to it but I did, and I am not old nor mean (most people at work like me- to my face at least- but that is for another thread ).
Here is the thing, if you post a question on the thread you will get all kinds of answers. Some things you are not going to like to hear but think... what responses do you really want to hear? In all fairness you can post back to this post and tell me that you disagree or you think I am an idiot. But I am not going to complain about it. When you make a thread or post it is like having an open house- everyone is invited. It is not a special party invite to those you only want to have come to your house.
Do you want to hear validation of your point- because that is just getting feedback that aligns to your response. Or do you want to hear other's thoughts/observations/two cents?? Maybe what you perceived as condescending response is based on their interpretation of the initial post as being inflicting an old stereotypical wound. Just because you said it wasn't an attack doesn't mean what your, "observations," is not going to hurt those old nurses.
So, I was wondering, to all the nurses out there who have been in the field for a long time, how has nursing changed you as an individual? Have you found yourself becoming colder and more detached or more warm and compassionate?
Sometimes if you find yourself becoming harder and more detached it can be a clue to look for a different setting. I consider myself a friendly, nice person in general, but I had a job that made me very unhappy. One day a new nurse started, and when he was brought into the nursing lounge to be introduced NO ONE said hello. We all just kind of looked down at the table. It was a real turning point for me, because I realized how unhappy I was working that particular job, and I was becoming angry and resentful. I have never been the type of person who didn't greet a new employee.
I applied for a new job, and I am back to my old self again. I think sometimes it is important to remember that nursing has many different areas to work in, and it is ok to find something that makes you happy.
Also, as far as toward the patient, I don't necessarily feel colder, but I certainly contain my emotions. I wouldn't be a very effective nurse if I spent the day in a state of emtional upheavel. I worked peds onc/bmt, so I think in that sense I might appear colder. I am pretty good at not crying, and saving it until I am alone.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
No. Haven't left the building. I have gotten and very great posts, but some posters have proven my point, sadly.But I am taking this in and I appreciate all of the responses and insight.I think people also misunderstood me. I never stated nursing was easy. It is hard. Why some people have called me a "little student" with "stars in her eyes" is confusing me.
I think it's the innocence of youth. Little meaning young.....stars in your eye....innocent. We all were where you are.....young, innocent, excited at the prospect of life. I know when I started nursing I was living at home.......I was very young when I graduated high school and didn't drive until I started college. I have never really seen a member...... let alone touched one.....when I started school. I was in for quite a shock. That was a long time ago.
I think years on the front has definitely changed me. I am not one of the "hardened ones". There are those with burn out, compassion fatigue....whatever you want to call it, and maybe they need to leave or retire. But you can't judge the whole bunch after a few rotten apples are found.
I think there are different areas of nursing that lead to faster compassion fatigue than others. I think other professions aren't as vulnerable...but given what we see and deal with every single day and be overwhelming. Nursing right now is in rough shape. Families are struggling, losing their homes, lost their retirements. They are having to work longer hours and not break even......they are being brow beat by administration to do twice as much with half of the resources. It is very easy to stand on the outside, look in and make judgements. It's a tough world out there.....
Those nurses aren't paid to be nice to you.....unfortunate but true. You are an added burden that they frankly.....just don't have the reserve to nurture your hurt feelings. Some nurses are downright mean...I admit it. But a majority aren't ..........but they are resentful of the demands placed on the by the powers that be and that they are powerless to change.
While your enthusiasm is to admired....remember that the reality of the profession you have chosen isn't a pretty one. Don't forget that you don't know what else they have on their mind...whether at home or at work and they just don't have the reserve to be perky. You clinical instructor may even have a history with these nurses and they resent her.....not you. I worked for a place one that cut the normal staff when there were students on the floor....thereby increasing the workload on the staff. That didn't foster a positive vibe either.
Many new to the profession choose to be nurses because it is recession proof (NOT) and have little interest in being a good nurse/student and are very draining on the system.
If they are mean....consider the source and remind yourself of the nurse you don't want to be. Good Luck!
I'm currently a student, and I have noticed that some of the older clinical instructors are very cold, harsh and indecent towards some of the nursing students, myself included. I know some PCAs. One certain PCA, a 31 year old nursing student w/military experience, referred to some of the nurses on her unit as " cold *******" and said she was afraid after many years of working in the field (after graduating and passing the NCLEX, of course), she will end up just like them. Many of the other nursing students have voiced similar experiences, saying that many of the nurses on their unit were just rude or plain cold.
This is NOT to attack nurses, but after I had a dentist appointment, I noticed a stark contrast between the happier, less stressed out RDHs from the overly stressed and very cold nurses that I have come across. This is NOT to say that all nurses are like this, I have met some really nice ones (and a couple of really lovely clinical instructors), but in general, the longer one has been in the field of nursing ,the colder and less compassionate one becomes...from my observation. Statistically, 1 out of every 7 nurses will end up with a drug/substance problem (according to my lecture notes)...could it be d/t the stress of nursing?
So, I was wondering, to all the nurses out there who have been in the field for a long time, how has nursing changed you as an individual? Have you found yourself becoming colder and more detached or more warm and compassionate? Has nursing made you depressed? And finally (and most importantly) do you regret nursing?
I have found that I have lost apart of my confidence and self-esteem, and nursing seems to have an ugly side to it that really is disappointing. Quoting someone I love, "Upon visiting your nursing school, I have never met a more hostile, unwelcoming, cold environment and I can only imagine what you go through when I'm not around." And this person is fifty.
Again, this is NOT an attack, but just an observation and things I've experienced first hand and have been told, and I'm wondering about this!
i have loved nursing more bacause it has made me to be more compassionate.i love my work even though i had tough times during my studies n my practicals.i over looked all those things and worked very hard to achieve my aim............
i have loved nursing more bacause it has made me to be more compassionate.i love my work even though i had tough times during my studies n my practicals.i over looked all those things and worked very hard to achieve my aim............
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I think it's the innocence of youth. Little meaning young.....stars in your eye....innocent. We all were where you are.....young, innocent, excited at the prospect of life. I know when I started nursing I was living at home.......I was very young when I graduated high school and didn't drive until I started college. I have never really seen a member...... let alone touched one.....when I started school. I was in for quite a shock. That was a long time ago.
I think years on the front has definitely changed me. I am not one of the "hardened ones". There are those with burn out, compassion fatigue....whatever you want to call it, and maybe they need to leave or retire. But you can't judge the whole bunch after a few rotten apples are found.
I think there are different areas of nursing that lead to faster compassion fatigue than others. I think other professions aren't as vulnerable...but given what we see and deal with every single day and be overwhelming. Nursing right now is in rough shape. Families are struggling, losing their homes, lost their retirements. They are having to work longer hours and not break even......they are being brow beat by administration to do twice as much with half of the resources. It is very easy to stand on the outside, look in and make judgements. It's a tough world out there.....
Those nurses aren't paid to be nice to you.....unfortunate but true. You are an added burden that they frankly.....just don't have the reserve to nurture your hurt feelings. Some nurses are downright mean...I admit it. But a majority aren't ..........but they are resentful of the demands placed on the by the powers that be and that they are powerless to change.
While your enthusiasm is to admired....remember that the reality of the profession you have chosen isn't a pretty one. Don't forget that you don't know what else they have on their mind...whether at home or at work and they just don't have the reserve to be perky. You clinical instructor may even have a history with these nurses and they resent her.....not you. I worked for a place one that cut the normal staff when there were students on the floor....thereby increasing the workload on the staff. That didn't foster a positive vibe either.
Many new to the profession choose to be nurses because it is recession proof (NOT) and have little interest in being a good nurse/student and are very draining on the system.
If they are mean....consider the source and remind yourself of the nurse you don't want to be. Good Luck!
When I was a student, the hospital where we had clinical would do the same thing. "Oh, we have students tomorrow, so we don't need Mary or Jane."
Specializes in Surgical Specialty Clinic - Ambulatory Care.
Yes, being a nurse makes you a harder person. 1) Because it becomes easier to see real pain from ***. Thus one tends to not pay as much attention to *** which looks bad to young people’s eyes. 2)If you think your professors are cold and harsh, the truth is that if you can’t take it from them then you really shouldn’t be a nurse. Being a nurse, despite how I felt about what it meant to be one when I started, isn’t puppies and rainbows. Often the most compassionate thing to do looks like the meanest because it is trying to force a decision out of a person when all the decisions available are *** ones. Unless you do primary care, you are dealing with the sickest of the sick. The options to those patients are often harsh (i.e. die now with gangrene or let us cut off your leg; after which you will have months of exhausting physical therapy and will no longer be able to work. Oh, and either way you choose you will be raped financially to the point that your standard of living, or the standard of living of those you leave behind, drops significantly.)
So yes nursing is not fun. And although I genuinely give a crap about others, I have learned after a decade as a nurse that nothing at the hospital level can be done to fix these issues. The wealthiest of this country are killing us and the only way to stop it is in Congress and your participation with your state’s legislative branch via your board of nursing.
). 
NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN
1,066 Posts
Ok so let me clear up exactly where the hostility to the original post is coming from. It's not the honest question that OP has, it's this:
1. If you EVER have to say "I'm not insulting you", "I'm not attacking you", or "No offense intended but..." Then stop there because you already know what you're going to say is insulting.
2. I don't care what career you are into, even preschool teaching has its "cold heartless" people because sometimes people get along with coworkers, and sometimes they don't. They are nice to patients, maybe not so much to coworkers. You can't be loved by everyone. It's a cold hard fact.
3. Nursing instructors have seen what happens when students go horribly wrong. They "know it all" and end up harming patients. Instructors have an intensely difficult job of herding 8 or so students as well as trying to make sure that each patient they take care of is also safe from their mistakes. So As a nurse can you imagine having a load of 16 patients (1st semester students + patients they care for), or even 24 to 30?? Talk about pressure! So when a student misses a potassium pill on a hypokalemic patient, they're not yelling about just missing a "multivitamin", they're upset about patient's symptoms worsening.
Ok that's my 2 cents. Stop assuming everyone is evil and cold and start thinking about they're reasoning. Maybe they don't have time to talk to students because someone is going bad fast, they're dealing with angry family members, or trying to fix mistakes made by someone else on the patients that they have responsibility for despite the students "doing their jobs for them".