Had a talk with nurse manager. I feel better.

[peaceful2100, BSN, RN]

I had a talk with my nurse manager yesterday. She gave me an evaulation and she said she thought I was doing a good job. She said she has heard many good things from patients, staff and even a doctor had something good to say about me.:)

She said she thought that as a new nurse I am exactly where I should be at this point. She gave me some tips for organization since I told her I could use some help on organization. I told her that I am working with becoming more confident with the doctors and how some of them have yelled at me for calling them in the middle of the night. I told her I know certain things are obvious that should be a definte call to the doctor but other things I am not sure about. She told me that any time I have any problem with any of the doctors to write their name down, the date it happened, and the time it happened and let her know about it. She said she will deal with it. She said that she likes to talk to the doctors about their attitudes because she said she is sick and tired of losing good staff over their attitudes. I feel better about that now and I feel a slight increase in confidence about it. I still am unsure when it's OK not to call on certain things.

I feel a little better after meeting with her yesterday. I was scared at first but I worked up some confidence to talk to her. I learned a VERY important lesson that is NOT to allow co-workers ESPECIALLY whom you don't know very well to intimidate you about going to your nurse manager. They have said some things about her that have intimidated me. I spoke with her and told her in honesty how I felt and how I feel overwhelmed. She said we will work on that.:)

I feel a new sense of optimism and hope that I have not felt in a LONG time. I should have gone to the manager a LONG time ago.

Guess what I am not ready to give up or quit either. Why? It is because I done 4 years of school. If I made it through school I can make it through this inital time of trials and tribulations and getting through the first inital difficult time. Winners don't quit during the storm. I re-read a favorite poem of mine entitled Don't Quit. I don't know who wrote it but the last sentence really hit me hard when I read it last night it said, "So Stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worse, that you must not quit." I felt something released through me after reading that. Tonight I am ready to go back to work after having 8 days off and I am actually excited about going to work tonight.

I have decided to keep a journal and write about my days at work and put inspirational things in it to help me through this. Someone special recommended that and I have put it off for the longest but I will start doing it.

I saw a new doctor yesterday. She is GREAT. I was impressed with her on the very first visit. She spoke to me Christian to Christian and said a prayer with me and gave me a hug before I left. She gave me a prescription for Lexapro but she told that I need to get the REAL long term prescription back into my life like it once was and for the Christians out there you know exactly what that means.

Yes, I was upset about not getting the position I wanted after nursing school and working in Med-Surg but I finally realized something yesterday. There is a reason and purpose why I am where I am at right now. My inital setback is something that I believe happened for a reason and good and better things are brewing up for me.

Thank you to ALL of you out there who has helped me during this difficult moment. I am still far from where I want to be and still need help but I am starting to see a light again at the end of the Tunnel. My passion is starting to become renewed again. Many things I have finally started to see that I did not see before.

(((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

What a nice post. Glad you got up the courage to visit your manager and that it went so well. I'm sure that boosted your self-confidence also. Take care...

[RN2B4ABBY]

I am so glad you posted what you did! Sometimes when a nursing student like me hears some of the stories of being a nurse, I wonder how someone like me could possibly be made for such a career. Reading your post made me realize that I need to listen to my gut that is telling me to go into nursing and just because I should be there doesn't mean the road to it is going to be smooth. Thank you so much for the hope and will to keep going!

[peaceful2100, BSN, RN]

Rn2b4Abby, I sat down and reflected back to my first semester of nursing school. I remembered I almost gave up, I almost quit. I had a withdrawl paper in my hand ready to hand in. I went to my nursing advisor and started crying and told her I don't think this is meant to me. She looked at me and said, are you kidding. She said I REALLY think you have it what it takes to a nurse and not just any nurse but a good one at that. She told me she really think I should hang in there and look at why I decided to go into nursing in the first place. Well, I stayed in school and raised my pathophysiology grade from a D at midterm to a B+ by the end of the semester. It was a LOT of hard work and I worked to get an A on every single test, quiz and assignment but I did it with determination and effort. I almost quit at the beginning of nursing school but I decided that my advisor was right and decided to go through nursing school and I made it to the end with pretty good grades. (Although, I know grades is not always everything it is a fraction of what it takes to be a nurse).

Now here I am my first professional career as a Registered Nurse is like my first semester of nursing school. I feel overwhelmed, scared, nervous, did I make the right choice. The biggest difference now is I have total responsibility. Starting something new can be a intimidating time in any one's life. I really had to do a lot of reflecting and a lot of digging to see that what I am feeling is normal and this too will pass.

Initially I was not excited about nursing school but I fell in LOVE with it. That is the same exact way it is with me and my first year as a new nurse.

Like my dad put it to me last night: "The first year is the rookie year" Don't ever quit when you are a rookie because you have not given it a fair chance." I love my dad.:kiss He is in sells so he knows TONS about set backs, trials and tribulations and he does have plenty of success stories too.

Glad it helped you.

[oramar]

I started new job last June with a GN. She is still so uncertain and was talking as if she was not making any progress. I guess she is to close to the situation and does not see the huge gains she is making. She strides around the place dealing with one situation after another and just taking it all instride. However, once in a while she makes a mistake and the other staff jump on her so quick. I think that is what is undermining her self confidence. I make sure I point out how great she is doing overall. I spoke to the head nurse about it and she made a point of taking certain persons aside and speaking to them about how quick they are to critisize. She also praised the GN in a staff meeting. Guess what, I am now finding myself asking this same newbie for advic

e about how the unit runs. Even after 6 months a new full time person will know stuff that a experienced person who works only a day or two a week cannot know.

[SmilingBluEyes]

way to go!!!!! glad you found peace and happiness in your situation...

keep up the wonderful work.

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

What a great NM ! I'm pleased to see that you have decided to stick with it. Let me tell you a secret......for the first YEAR I worked I went home and cried nearly every day. I survived.....you will too. Be careful in your journal you don't violate patient confidence or write anything that would be harmful should you have any legal problems.

You sound like a good nurse....just not fully ripe, yet.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

What wonderful words to hear... but what I heard even clearer was your HEART.

I am so glad you took the courageous step to meet with your NM and pour your heart out to her... all your fears, struggles, and trials.

Peaceful, I have a feeling deep in my gut that when you get through this period, you will make one HECK of a fabulous, knowlegable, and caring nurse... one who pays great attention to detail... and you will be able to pick up on cues that others miss.

You care too much about your perceived misgivings to be anything BUT great in the near future!

As with anything worth achieving, this, too, takes TIME and PRACTICE... believe more in yourself and He Who guides you, than in your coworkers who seek only to bring you down.

Happy you found a doc in whom you can confide and sees you for the whole person you are, and not just another "number". You are surrounded by ppl and family who know and see your strengths, potential, and beauty. These are the ppl you need to be listening to and learning from. No matter how good we might eventually become, there will ALWAYS be someone lurking in the background ready to devour us, just waiting to pounce.

Ignore the paper tigers... both in your imaginations and those coworkers who seem to thrive on belittling others.

You EARNED the right to prove yourself... now go forth with your head held high and a song in your heart... and show 'em what you're made of !!!

Great big hugs to you. :kiss

[zambezi, BSN, RN]

YEEAAA! Peaceful, it is so good to hear you talk like this. We know that you can do it. Just take it one day at a time. Remember not all days will be good ones but hang in there and learn from each one. I am glad that you have found someone (counselor/NM) that you can talk with. Try to find someone that work with as well, if possible. That way if you have questions, you can ask them as it happens. I think that the journal is a great way to go, especially the inspirational quotes. You will go back in a year and read what you have written and be so proud of how far you have come...I just wanted to say good luck. You deserve this. You also deserve to be happy. Take some time with your daughter to celebrate!

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Oh, Peaceful, I am SO happy for you!!:kiss

I remember what that first year was like.......the initials RN really stand for Rookie Nurse, you know!

Like many of the above posters said, you've survived the first great test of your career, and you've come out on top. Now all you need is more seasoning, and that only comes with time and experience. You're doing fine.........I've mentored a number of new nurses, and you are as far, or even farther, along than many of them at this stage of the game.

Keep up the good work!

Blessings,

MJ

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Awesome. I'm glad that you have a supportive manager. Too often we throw new grads out there and forget they need support and time. It took me a long time to feel good about myself and organized.

Good luck!

[stressednurse]

I think you have a wonderful nurse manager

I wish all units had someone with such confident and appropriate ways of dealing with issues. I wonder why others thought she wasn't approachable?