Gay Boomers and nursing attitudes - page 7

I read an interestiing article, in the NYT, today. Apparently the first wave of gay boomers have begun to hit our LTC, Assisted Living, home health agencies. And more and more of them are being... Read More

  1. by   Noryn
    Quote from Tweety
    You don't have to be comfortable with it, or use it yourself, just accept that it's now mainstream and don't be offended when you hear it or read it. We still have our own "n-word", which is the "f-word" It's highly offensive to pretty much everyone, but once in a blue moon only in the presence of other very close gay friends I might say it. But you can't. LOL Semantics can get a bit confusing.
    If you can say it without offense then it must not be offensive. I dont see how words can take on a different "meaning" simply by the color of someone's skin or lifestyle. Otherwise people are not going to accept this and actually develop either resentment or the feeling that it is socially acceptable to use the word. Just like the "N" word, black leaders have came out and strongly denounced use of this word by anyone. You cant only denounce some people while turning a blind eye to other people.

    If the word is truly that offensive, and I am aware of how offensive it is, in my opinion you would drop it from your vocabulary like I have.
  2. by   rn/writer
    Quote from James Huffman
    I'll throw in my 2 cents on semantics.

    Calling it "the f-word" (or "the n-word") only means that we cause the reader to supply the offending word in their mind. I'm not sure why we (as a society) can't simply use the words if we feel like we have to. I think these circumlocutions are a symptom of our society's inability to deal with straight talk. (OK, that sounds funny given the present discussion, but you know what I mean :spin

    In other words, I'm not suggesting insulting anyone, but why do we have to avoid the words in discussions like this?
    Those who use these euphemisms likely do so to avoid inviting a backlash that will almost certainly escalate from that point onward and/or to avoid giving offense.

    Saying "the f-word" or "the n-word" instead is, I think, a way of broaching the subject while still making it clear that the speaker is not in favor of their use. We live in such a knee-jerk atmosphere of late that just the mention of these and other similarly controversial words is sometimes enough to make people see red. They don't take the time to consider the entire message or the context of the usage and quickly launch into a vitriolic counterstrike. It is an unfortunate but all too common reality that these inflammatory words can incite riotous responses just by showing up on a page or in a conversation. People who bring them up them mainly to decry their use sometimes get blasted for mentioning them at all, even if it's to say that the words have no place in intelligent discussion. The mere act of calling them forth in any form is equated with "using" them or deliberately offending others, never mind what the person intended.

    The euphemisms take the words that are being discussed and tack on a huge a disclaimer that says, "Don't shoot me! I don't like these words either."

    Besides all that, most of us just don't like saying them.
    Last edit by rn/writer on Oct 15, '07
  3. by   Tweety
    Quote from James Huffman
    I'll throw in my 2 cents on semantics.

    Calling it "the f-word" (or "the n-word") only means that we cause the reader to supply the offending word in their mind. I'm not sure why we (as a society) can't simply use the words if we feel like we have to. I think these circumlocutions are a symptom of our society's inability to deal with straight talk. (OK, that sounds funny given the present discussion, but you know what I mean :spin

    In other words, I'm not suggesting insulting anyone, but why do we have to avoid the words in discussions like this?
    The censors won't censor the f-word, much to my irritation, but it will the n-word so that's part of the reason. Otherwise I agree with RNWriter above. I do use the f-word out loud, 99.999% of the time it's with other gay people.
    Last edit by Tweety on Oct 15, '07 : Reason: edited the "f-word" to say "f-word" because I changed my mind. :)
  4. by   grbrico
    That is absolutely horrid.... Despite anyone's sexual affinity... they are still human beings.. needing care..... I dont care if they want to date a Llama... they are still entitled to safe, professional, ethical and moral care.

    People are people and they will pick and chose what they want.. its a little thing I like to call FREE WILL. That doesn't make them any less human nor should it make others any less humane.

    When people in this profession, and well quite frankly people in general learn about acceptance... we will be much better off.

    It may not be our choice... or our group of friends choice... or hell not even our religions choice.. but you know whats so great about the human race.... WE ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE THOSE choices...

    Dont throw stones when you live in a glass house....

    HUGS,
    Rae
  5. by   kanzi monkey
    Quote from Tweety
    The censors won't censor the f-word, much to my irritation, but it will the n-word so that's part of the reason. Otherwise I agree with RNWriter above. I do use the f-word out loud, 99.999% of the time it's with other gay people.
    It's funny--I've started to get used to the "f-word" again b/c I watch a lot of BBC. Hearing it in the context of "having a smoke" is very different than hearing it used by an immature jerk on x-box live. I just revealed way too much about my nerdy hobbies.
  6. by   ElvishDNP
    It's interesting where this thread has gone.

    The other night at work we were talking about Don Imus...several black nurses, a couple white nurses, and an Asian nurse. I actually said the 'n-word' -- quoting someone -- and nobody got offended even though I felt funny saying it myself. A couple of the black nurses said it too in the conversation, also quoting people. It's not a word that's in my (or their) vocabulary, nor is the f-word.

    I remember when I was younger talking with a cousin of mine just a little older than I was and he used the f-word in reference to my uncle (see my 1st post in this thread) and even though I didn't really know what 'gay' meant, I knew it had something to do with that. And I knew it was an insult, and I didn't understand why he used it.

    But you know what? I think this is a phenomenon in many many people groups. Mexicans will call each other 'nopal' (cactus) and some even call each other mojados (wetbacks). I don't like the second term (nopal is pretty benign) and I don't use it, but my husband (who is Mexican) does. I guess the thinking is if you can use it in a way that's funny to you, it takes some of the sting away. Using the enemy's weapon against him, if you will. Like I said, I personally don't like it and don't use it. Just a thought.
    Arwen
    Last edit by ElvishDNP on Oct 15, '07
  7. by   cmo421
    It is interesting how this thread has progressed! I said about 7 pages ago,it would be a interesting thread. Great to be able to have an open,progressive,diverse,conversation in which we all can learn from. I am sure both gay and straight come away from reading the many comments a more informed and sensitive provider. Life is good when u can just click a few tabs and converse with so many wonderful,intellegent people who share a common bond!
  8. by   sharona97
    Quote from woody62
    The one thing I liked about the AIDS Unit, at Sarasota Memorial, in 1986, it was so alive. The nurses were not hiding out in the nurses station. Partners were encouraged to visit. Catholic Priests, Rabbi, Ministers all visited the patients offering them support. It was quite a surprising, refreshing attitude, for a SW Florida hospital.

    Woody
    Woody,
    Thank you for this post and your information. I too, took a job associated with Sarsota Memorial in vascular surgery and agree it is a great hospital!
  9. by   woody62
    Quote from sharona97
    Woody,
    Thank you for this post and your information. I too, took a job associated with Sarsota Memorial in vascular surgery and agree it is a great hospital!
    Gosh, when did you work there? It is a great hospital. I spent a week there, a few days after Charlie hit, on their cardiac surgery floor. And I had surgery there in January of this year. For the most part, they have an excellent nursing staff. For a couple of years, I had to visit their ER because of my asthma. The would whip me into a wheelchair, roll me back to the acute area and start treatment, unlike my local community hospital.

    Woody
  10. by   sharona97
    Woody,

    I worked at SM in 1999-2000. Then took a job in Port Charlotte. Otherwise I was commuting 80 mies a day. In PC I worked for a cardiac group and alternated with the stress lab. Small world,right?

    Oh, didn't you love the valee parking......First time I had seen that!
    Last edit by sharona97 on Oct 15, '07 : Reason: finifhing touches
  11. by   woody62
    Quote from sharona97
    Woody,

    I worked at SM in 1999-2000. Then took a job in Port Charlotte. Otherwise I was commuting 80 mies a day. In PC I worked for a cardiac group and alternated with the stress lab. Small world,right?

    Oh, didn't you love the valee parking......First time I had seen that!
    I just love it. Which hospital did you work in, in PC

    Woody
  12. by   fronkey bean
    Quote from Tweety
    You don't have to be comfortable with it, or use it yourself, just accept that it's now mainstream and don't be offended when you hear it or read it. We still have our own "n-word", which is the "f-word" It's highly offensive to pretty much everyone, but once in a blue moon only in the presence of other very close gay friends I might say it. But you can't. LOL Semantics can get a bit confusing.
    This thread is so enlightening! I wonder how many time I have offended someone unintentionally? I will try to remember not to say homosexual any more and I definitely won't use the other words!
  13. by   sharona97
    I worked for a Cardilogy group in PC just before you cross the bridge to Punta Gorda. (Cardilogy Assoc), worked for the president (then) of the company on office alt w/qweek in their myoview stress lab.. I'd bop into is it PC's regional hosp? I know they were the only one in PG that did heart caths also to check things out with a co-workr from research. I hated all of the hospitals, as I thought they were so dirty. I lived off Peachland while our house was being built. Good ole exit # 32.

    Went Venus hospital when my son tried to commit suicide. That was a long trip, off Hwy 42. Ahhh we've travelled own some same paths maybe, or was it in Publix? lol
    Last edit by Tweety on Oct 16, '07 : Reason: removed the personal names for confidentialities sake

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