FOMO & anxiety. Need advise.

[Octobermyfav]

I am sorry this is going to sound a bit long. Over the years I have developed anxiety and depression since beginning of college. I didn't do well in first couple years because my study habits indicate that I have ADD. I have always procrastinated and didn't study until the night before. I kept doing it for many classes even though I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. I wanted to take break from school but my parents wouldn't let me. I was getting F's,D's and C's for several semesters.

I think my anxiety/depression/low self esteem is caused by me getting bad grades in college. I was a mess. I felt worthless. Fast forward now I have since changed my study habits and retook the classes and getting A's. Hard work paid off and now I am in a reputable RN program in LA. I don't take ADD/depression pills and never did.

It has been several years since I have deactivated facebook / Instagram. Even though I logged back a few times. I experienced FOMO when I see friends/acquaintance hanging out w/o me, or people I dislike are painting themselves a nice picture even though they are not what they portray to be. Those I was friends with has "lost contact " with me due to me deleting FB.

I guess those likes and comments are really important to keep people in touch.

Don't know how social media will affect one mental health if that individual lives under the impact of social media FOREVER. It has only been less than two decades since it was introduced. Human just can't keep in touch without social media anymore? Is that what it is from now on? I have to say that I have lost a lot of " friends" and not being able to keep in touch with many good people. Missing out makes me unhappy but I can see FB being a dangerous addiction and it's just a cyclical, vicious cycle. I had to stop it before it destroy my mental health completely. I found myself constantly compare myself to others and it makes me UNHAPPY. And social media makes everything worse.

Can human make friends and keep in touch without social media anymore? Can I ever be happy again without taking happy pills? I was able to overcome ADD w/o taking medication. ( I may still have it but it won't affect my school anymore.)

Any advise would be appreciated.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Most U.S. counties have public health clinics, many of which offer mental health services on a sliding-scale fee basis. If you are low-income enough you might qualify for Medicaid, which would pay for most services and meds if it's decided they are necessary. When I was on Medicaid several years ago, they paid for both a psychiatrist and a therapist as well as my many meds. You really should look into it...where there's a will, there's usually a way. I think you need professional help to get at whatever is chewing on you; if you do the work, everything else just might fall into place.

[Octobermyfav]

Obesity is increasingly being discovered to be a disease state that has a lot more to do with gut health, hormone production and neurological issues than it does simply making a choice. It is no wonder you judge yourself with so little compassion...you are applying the same to yourself as you are to others.

People "sicken" you for wanting to be a good person? For wishing to put a good foot forward and represent themselves and their families well? Would you prefer they post about their filthy house and dirty hair and unwashed undies and that they think they suck? Most people want the world to see them as they hope to be. That is human nature. This says more about you than them to be honest and that is unfortunate. It okay for people to be happy in their lives and to show their happiness. It is okay for you to be as well.

Soften your stances to allow shades of gray and you may find the world an easier place to not be so anxious, envious and depressed. The words you choose are telling. Get some help. This life is not as ugly as you are seeing it.

Thanks for your advice. But those people I dislike.. Majority are my extended family members. I know their true colors because I grew up with some and knowing them for the longest time. When I needed the help the most, they were just chilling and talking behind me. Can you imagine the person that is mean and rude to parents and family paints an Angel like picture of themselves online constantly? To be more specific, they humiliated my parents by calling their daughter-ME, can never become a nurse. And they will become US president if I do. I am sick to my stomach when I see them posting **** that makes them look like god figures all the time.

[Octobermyfav]

Be careful, you are starting to swim into treacherous waters here. Besides your above comment being rude and judgmental, you are just plain wrong about some cases of type 2 DM. Yes, poor diet and sedentary lifestyle play a large role in may cases, but I have also cared for type 2 diabetics who are, otherwise, relatively healthy. I think you need to examine this before you become a nurse.

Having said that, compare ADD medication to narcotics. Yes, there are some people who took narcotics for legitimate reasons and became addicted. Just because you know some individuals who went down this path, it does not invalidate the use of this class of meds, and it is does not mean that narcotics have to be avoided in all cases. Some people misuse ADD meds--you know some people who are "addicted." This does not mean there is not a legitimate, therapeutic purpose for these medications when used correctly.

I realize that you have a desire not to use medications, and that is not a bad thing, but talk to your doctor (it can be your PCP, not just a psychiatrist) and see what non-medication options are out there.

I did not intend to get in many details regarding to diabetes. That's not the point of my thread. If I left out some healthy type 2 diabetes, my apology. My point is, in this society we are living in, I have noticed more and more people choose to take the easy way out. That does not include those with predisposing genes to certain illness.

My insurance is cheap, just need that to get me through nursing school. My insurance only covers my PCP but he is not a very patient doctor and last time he kinda brushed me off when I mentioned about ADD. I guess I will have to talk to the same person again if needed.

[Octobermyfav]

It appears you have tried diagnosing yourself with ADD and depression, but you have not seen a doctor about it. FWIW, procrastinating studying does not equal ADD, and FOMO does not equal depression. In getting better grades, you simply CHOSE to focus the second time around. Good for you!

As for FOMO, real human relationships require some self-reflection and reaching out. Social media, used appropriately, is simply a tool to reach out, like a phone call or a text message. You have reached out to a friend to meet face-to-face--good for you--SO WHAT that it was through a social app?

The whole FOMO thing. Don't be jealous of what other people are doing; change YOUR life to something that makes you happy. If you truly aren't able to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps to peace and no anxiety no matter what you do, then you may be experiencing symptoms that can be evaluated and treated by a provider. Otherwise, you are simply asking Dr. Google for a diagnosis to explain why your life isn't where you want it to be.

Good luck!

My friend who posted on another social media app is having a picnic and that's how the conversation started.

[NurseCard, ADN]

I'm commenting on this kinda late, but...

I'm on Facebook, but I really don't use it to keep in touch with people.

I mean, if I truly want to keep in touch with someone, I call, text, email,

etc., and make an effort to do it regularly.

I had to scale down my Facebook use quite a bit, for my own mental

health. I now still look at it, but I mostly look for funny stuff from

favorite comedians... funny videos... jokes.. etc. I don't "follow"

very many people. I do post pictures and stuff sometimes, but

mostly I use Facebook to store my digital photos.

I found that, when I followed a lot of people that I know in real

life, and read their posts which embellish how great their lives

are, I couldn't help but feel like my life was crap. And I KNOW

that it isn't. But... I couldn't help it.

Social media really needs to be taken in limited dose.

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

I can't imagine anyone, let alone anyone/anything on social media, being that irrelevantly relevant to my life that I care what they are or aren't doing without me, or I don't like how they are representing themselves as having a nice life with nice things, ...I don't give a flying fox about any of that and you need to learn not to either. It is worrisome that you care about something so irrelevant and petty and I would recommend talking to a therapist as others have mentioned. I suggest you reevaluate your life and what you need to bring yourself happiness and peace.

[Davey Do]

What is FOMO?

Fear of missing out. Generally used when referring to cryptocurrency and buying out of fear...of missing out on the big payout. Apparently it has now gone mainstream.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]26848[/ATTACH]

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Thanks for your advice. But those people I dislike.. Majority are my extended family members. I know their true colors because I grew up with some and knowing them for the longest time. When I needed the help the most, they were just chilling and talking behind me. Can you imagine the person that is mean and rude to parents and family paints an Angel like picture of themselves online constantly? To be more specific, they humiliated my parents by calling their daughter-ME, can never become a nurse. And they will become US president if I do. I am sick to my stomach when I see them posting **** that makes them look like god figures all the time.

You have some deep, deep baggage and extended bitterness that is so into your core that it is starting to rot you from the inside. I truly hope you can get some help learning to let go and move forward. You are in pain and its impacting your well being. You can be a nurse if you want to. They do not get a vote. Who cares if they think you can? Just do you and go after what you want.

Be kind. To yourself. To others. Recognize the only person whose opinion matters at this juncture is yours. I hope you find a therapist you can afford and I hope you find a different PCP. It doesn't have to feel this way.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

If you have depression go see a counselor who does cognitive behavioral therapy instead of meds. This way you not only treat the root cause, but learn ways to cope in the future if it comes back.

This is very old school i know, but much more effective in the long run.

[Amethya]

Okay I read your responses, and I honestly think you have some of these ideas wrong, and as someone said, take that judgement off before you go into nursing, because you will deal with all kinds of people with different problems, not everything is black and white.

Also, you can't diagnose yourself with ADD, without seeing a professional. The reason I do say I have it is because I was diagnosed at 9 with it and I went to a professional again at 25 and I was re-diagnosed again. That's the proper way to get the help and medication you need. Not from a PCP, but a psychiatrist.

Please do not think taking ADD medication means you are going to get addicted. That's not true. I take ADD medication, (Adderall XR 20mg) but I stopped it because it made me feel bad (More anxiety, than usual). I did up the dosage before, not because I'm addicted, but I felt it wasn't working anymore in lower dosages. But I think I'll going to lower it now because it causes me to have more anxiety than before, and when it was lower, I was fine. If that doesn't work, I'm going to stop taking it all together. I didn't take any medication for this until college when I realized how bad my ADD really is, and tried various of medications, so hopefully it will work and I can feel normal but aware.

People go to get their medication monthly because it's a controlled substance and we are only allowed to take out 30 day supply, unless it's a special circumstance (i.e, I went to work at a camp, and I asked for a 90 day supply so I don't have to ask my parents to send me my medication through the mail.) So no, not all of us get addicted to these medication.

As everyone, said I think you need to seek out professional help. They may help you in a way you don't need medication. As well a therapist may help wonders too!

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!.

[Amethya]

As well, I know how you feel. I have times where paranoia gets to me and I think my best friends are talking mess about me. I try to stop thinking this way because that's how I lost some friends, but I think it was for the better because of the circumstance we had with each other.

The only way I know how to reassess myself is because I'm going to a therapist that is helping me through these thoughts and times.

[Neats, BSN]

I have face book with my spouse, we do not get on all the time, if I had grandchildren I more than likely would because my daughter lives outside WA--DC and I live back west. We keep track of friends all over the world via snail mail and Skype. They love getting the occasional card from us and say "it is hand written too.". It does take effort to stay in contact with friends however Hallmark has a card for anything.

I think each person is different and some people love this technology and post pictures of their dinner (my son in law is one of those but I love him, he is a decent human and makes my daughter happy-I just don't get his postings) are always in contact with whomever on their facebook/twitter/whatever it may be.

Some people like me only get online occasionally maybe once or twice monthly. Heck I am more on allnurses than anything.

Some people need face to face interaction more than others, regardless if you are a introvert or extrovert you should know yourself enough to at least be happy with your daily life, once you are happy then people tend to see that shine through, people like happy people.

I would try individualized counseling.