Families, are they getting more demanding?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

The LTAC where I work has, lately, been getting patients that come with demanding family members attached. I.E. we have one patient that is unresponsive, and the wife insists that he gets morphine every 15 minutes for pain. This is even when he is sleeping and resting comfortably. She even insists that a certain nurse not take care of her husband because he supposedly refused to give the morphine. (He didn't, but that's another story.) We have family members at the bedside constantly interfering with the patient's care. Getting in the staff's way, and constantly demanding this or that for their loved one, requesting certain staff members not take care of their loved one for various stupid reasons, etc. I guess I am rambling, but has anyone else noticed a trend in the rise of demanding families? It's no wonder there is a nursing shortage. Nurses are overworked and overstressed out by the end of their shift. Just wondering what experiences everyone else has had.

Pam

Lately I have felt overwhelmed by family interactions. I am considering starting to document these instances as "hostile work environments". Just in the past two weekends I have been called multiple vile names and thwarted taking a cane upside the head by my quick "dodgeball skills".

Think the big Kahunas will respond to written reporting of "hostile" working conditions. Someone upstairs needs to set firm limits and protect their employees from the monsters they have created with their "culture" of customer satisfaction.

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Specializes in floor to ICU.

I vote for a "No Family Day". Wouldn't that be nice to just worry about YOUR patient?

How about the family members that leave their demented parent behind "to visit"? I often feel like I have 2 patients in the room.

The ICU waiting room is located right beside our Med-Surg nurses station (poor architect planning) We have huge vaulted ceilings that magnify all the sounds. So, not only do we have to deal with our own family members but ICU's too. I am so very tired of dealing with those family members that insist on camping out- especially with small children. One group of folks even had an infant there for days. I don't think this baby was older than 1 mos. You can't blame the kids- they get cranky and tired and need to go home. I am so tired of fetching coffee cups, spoons and straws. I am tired of cleaning up blankets and pillows left all over the place. I am tired of zig-zagging through family memebers and their toddlers to get to my patient rooms. Meantime, ICU is tucked away behind closed quiet doors with strict visiting hours while we deal with all the drama. I don't blame ICU, but the ICU nurses don't understand why the Med-Surg staff is ready to scream when the ICU staff complains about having to deal with a difficult family member- they deal with them for what? 15 minutes every 2 hrs? Try all day long... :) No flaming, please. I love our ICU nurses!

We are moving to a new floor. I am happy to say that our family waiting areas are at opposite ends of the nurses station (on purpose) AND ICU waiting is nowhere near us.

And don't get me started on patient satisfaction. I am an excellent nurse. This means my patient's "needs" come before patient "wants". (Needs BP meds vs. wants jello)

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it is shame we have to put up with this and if we say anything in return it means losing our job,nursing sure has changed over the past 36 years for the worse no wonder lot people decide not to go into nursing that is why we are having nursing shortage because all the crap we have to put up with from families.

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One of the sups I work with once told a demanding patient that the RN's on the floor each had 9 patients and there were 62 patients in the building(LTAC). Each pt. required time from the RN.

She then explained to him that he was well aware that she did not have 62 RN's for 62 patients, and that one RN per one pt. was not required by the state on a regular floor. She then told him that if he required a private duty RN he would need to pay for one.

He didn't bother her again. Same sup told another pt. "you have put the call light on 17 times in 12 minutes, the RN's are documenting this and we are obviously not meeting your needs and I suggest you ask for a care conference so we can meet your needs. What is it that you needed 17 times in 12 minutes?" The woman was quiet for the rest of the night.

At this LTAC at least they support us in reminding pts. and family of their responsibilities when in a hospital.

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I wouldn't know. I'm not as old as you. :roll

:smokin: And don't you forget it, bucko! Now sit up straight and mind your manners!:chuckle

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Specializes in Geriatric and now peds!!!!.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wooh viewpost.gif

But did we get out of waitressing?:rolleyes:

ROTFLMAO...great point wooh! I read this and just remembered a favorite instructor I had had this saying actually..." the only difference between a nurse and a waitress is that you have to feed them".... I forgot all about it until I saw your post....that was great! I got a laugh on that one!!:lol2:

Waitresses dont have to worry about being sued lol.... I work in LTC and we have a couple of residents who seem to think that they are the only residents that we have to take care of. One will hit the call light and then call the nurses station demanding "service" sometimes I feel like telling him if we wants service the local IHOP is down the road lol. I am not a waitress, I am a nurse. I didnt go to nursing school to be treated like a maid......... grrrrrrrrr

Wendy

LPN

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Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

Families are a big reason that I work nightshift. There are some that stay overnight, but it's nowhere near as bad as dayshift. Sometimes I miss out on some family/pt education, but usually not. The family members that do stay are usually the ones that genuinely want to help the pt, not just b**ch and look good just for showing up.

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One of the sups I work with once told a demanding patient that the RN's on the floor each had 9 patients and there were 62 patients in the building(LTAC). Each pt. required time from the RN.

She then explained to him that he was well aware that she did not have 62 RN's for 62 patients, and that one RN per one pt. was not required by the state on a regular floor. She then told him that if he required a private duty RN he would need to pay for one.

He didn't bother her again. Same sup told another pt. "you have put the call light on 17 times in 12 minutes, the RN's are documenting this and we are obviously not meeting your needs and I suggest you ask for a care conference so we can meet your needs. What is it that you needed 17 times in 12 minutes?" The woman was quiet for the rest of the night.

At this LTAC at least they support us in reminding pts. and family of their responsibilities when in a hospital.

I would love support like that from the DON. We have so many families like that in our LTC. 2 nurses for 48 pts (3-4 CNAs) and you all know how we are getting more unstable pts in LTC

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Specializes in Pediatric Pulmonology and Allergy.
This is very distressing for me as a new grad. My education prepared me on the basics of nursing practice and we touched on the major points of every body system. But when you or your loved one is in the hospital, you can focus on JUST that problem. Pt's and their families get on websites like

WebMD and do hours of research, and sometimes they know more about the disease/condition than I do. They ask questions that I am not prepared to answer, they question the doctors, and they are intensely suspicious that the staff is not competent. It can be very frustrating.

I want my patient's to be informed and health conscious! I want the families to be involved. But sometimes I feel as if they are challenging my knowledge or just waiting for me to make a mistake. I love my patients and I would NEVER do anything to harm anyone or pretend that I know what I am doing if I really need help, but I don't know everything and patients/families need to realize this.

I don't think you need to be distressed. You know what you need to know as a nurse. You aren't required or expected to be an expert in every disease process known to man. If patients have questions about their specific diagnosis or treatment you just refer them to the doctor. It's more annoying to deal with a doctor/nurse who thinks they need to show they know more than they do. I'd rather deal with someone who knows his/her own limitations and is willing to admit that they don't know something and need to do more research. Too bad some people don't respect honesty and humility.

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Specializes in LTC.
I have actually asked people the old "A/O" questions when they start ordering me around like I was a maid/hotel employee. They are shocked when I start asking them to tell me the date, president...and I say "oh, I was checking on your orientation because I thought you weren't aware you are in a hospital for a moment there"....

LOL!

Triage, I want to be you when I grow up... if I grow up.

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Specializes in Peds, GI, Home Health, Risk Mgmt.
I have actually asked people the old "A/O" questions when they start ordering me around like I was a maid/hotel employee. They are shocked when I start asking them to tell me the date, president...and I say "oh, I was checking on your orientation because I thought you weren't aware you are in a hospital for a moment there"....

:roll

Very good!

HollyVK

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First off the customer service is fine to a point, it does make us focus on comfort to our pts, but hospitals have taken it to the extreem as a way to get pts to return to that certain hospital (money based). How can we encourage and force pts to work on doing their own adl's after surgery, make them walk to increase bowl mobility, keep their scd's on to prevent DVTs and make them wait until time for pain meds so they do not get decreased respritory problems, when they complain to managers and we as nurses are not given the chance to explain our rational. We had a mother of an out of state Doctor on our unit, he called and ordered us to do a CT scan on his mother, we explained that her doctor would need to order this scan, he reported us for being rude, which was far from the truth. The nurse taking care of her received a verbal warning for being rude and not giving good PR, even though the nurses overhearing the phone conversation went to bat for her.

I kind of wonder if it was ever a good idea to let families stay 24 seven with the pts. Did this contribute to them taking the nursing role and second guessing the medical staff, but on the other hand, when I have a pt that needs constant monitoring, families do help out considerably so I can take care of all my pts.

costomer service is, has always been, and will always be about money, as long as we care more about revenu over what is really best for the pt, we will have to deal with families second guessing our care.

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