Does anyone else ever envy their patients?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Be honest--do you ever the patients you take care of, even just a little bit?

It probably sounds wrong, but I often do envy the patients I take care of. Ultimately, they get to choose their schedule their way. If they want to sleep in, they can. If they want to stay up all night, that's their choice, too. They don't have to wake up to any responsibilities. They can sit around and watch TV all day, read, color, or pretty much whatever they like. They're able to order around staff members and can get upset when things aren't just the way they want, and get away with it. However, if I were to start demanding things from others...well, you can guess how well that would go. I wish I could have a call light to press every time I needed every single little thing. One patient stays in bed all day and all night, except when she goes to the bathroom; as someone who loves to sleep, I would totally love to have that life. Instead, I get to work two jobs and some nights get barely 5 hours of sleep while they do basically nothing all day and have all the time in the world to sleep.

Is there any way to speed up my life so I can finally reach the age where I get to sleep all day, lol?

(quotes from several posters)

I see that some of you are criticizing some of the replies in this thread. Since neither of you chose to identify which specific posts you were reacting to, the targets of your criticism remain a mystery. You're essentially smearing everyone who has replied in this thread. (Which is why I've lumped your quotes together, instead of replying to you individually as I normally would).

Like most people I don't enjoy being lectured. Especially not by people who probably don't know what motivated me to post what I did, and are likely equally clueless regarding other posters' motivations. If you want to call other posters negative, harsh, accuse them of engaging in mob mentality, lacking empathy and being ridiculous, please show them the courtesy of identifying who you are addressing. Anything less, is in my opinion just being passive-aggressive.

Personally, I don't think that replying without having read the entire thread is optimal and in this specific case, it's actually a good idea to have read all the threads that OP has started. While it won't tell you about everything going on in OP's life, they might offer some insight and could possibly alter your perception/ interpretation of both OP's posts and the replies.

I just need to say I second Hermione's reply to this, it was worded so well and I can't better that. I just need to emphasize, my post wasn't directed at any one person. Not because I am passive aggressive, but because I had read over 20 posts which I as a whole I thought were negative. Most of these had a rationale for feeling that way and I totally understand where they're coming from and that's okay! My post was not to call out or name any one of those people, and I stand by that action.

It's cool that you don't like being lectured by people who don't know what motivated you to post what you did.. but oh, hang on.. maybe the OP feels the same!!! 😊

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I just need to emphasize, my post wasn't directed at any one person. Not because I am passive aggressive, but because I had read over 20 posts which I as a whole I thought were negative. Most of these had a rationale for feeling that way and I totally understand where they're coming from and that's okay! My post was not to call out or name any one of those people, and I stand by that action.

(my bold)

The parts of your post that I reacted and responded to were:

I am surprised at the harsh negativity of the replies.

For a bunch of nurses there were some disheartening levels of judgement in those replies...

To me they don't imply that you "totally understand where posters are coming from" and it doesn't sound to me that you think it's "okay".

You might not have wanted to call out individual posters, but perhaps in that situation it's simply better do keep your opinion/interpretation of posters' "levels of judgement" to yourself? To me at least, what you chose to do is similar to walking through a commuter train during rush hour, declaring loudly that "someone in here smells like feces" (yes I admit, that was a rather crappy analogy ;)), leaving everyone wondering if it was them you were referring to.

If you object to something a poster says and call them something less than flattering, like harshly negative or judgmental, by telling them directly you give them the chance to respond. They can explain their viewpoint and clarify if they feel the need to.

The following quote comes off as condescending to me. I have no way of knowing if that's how you intended it, but it's definitely how I perceive it.

It's a shame that you are SO angered by an innocent forum on the internet, I hope that you practice using some sort of relaxation technique when you're working with a patient who comes out with something offensive.

Perhaps you shared this purely out of kindness and concern for the poster's emotional wellbeing, but it would surprise me if I'm the only one who thought it was a bit patronizing. How a poster responds in a thread on social media/a forum, likely has little or no bearing on how they behave on duty, and I don't think it's okay to imply that another poster isn't able to conduct herself in a professional manner at work (and doing it under the guise of offering friendly advice), based solely on a reply here.

You are of course free to post in whatever style you see fit, but as you've noticed I will let my view be known when something rubs me the wrong way :) Opinionated is pretty much my middle name :lol2:

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I think you just want to be rich.. a much better goal than being ill :-)

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Heck no. I take care of a little girl on a vent. On the contrary I feel guilty some days when I walk out the door to resume my life and I know she'll never have that chance to do any of those things I take for granted.

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Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.

I get what you mean, but no. The problems they are dealing with are not worth all the sleep in eternity. As you are they're nurse you know the underlining problems they are up against - would you want that just for a bit of leisure time?

I remember early into my nursing career working two jobs, overtime, struggling with 12 hr shifts, a baby, and a marriage starting to have cracks in the seams from the multiple demands on my time, all the while getting a lot less sleep than I needed to feel good. Ah ... the bad ole days ...

I remember having similar if not fleeting thoughts about the pt's I cared for then - oh boy did I pamper them. That is until I got really sick myself.

I discovered I didn't like it much on the other side of the fence. I envied the people who were strong enough to enjoy life, and could go home to their families. I discovered it rather sucked being a pt.

It didn't end there - I eventually had to medically retire for ten years and nearly lost my life. Not only did I believe I'd never work again, I looked death in the face close enough to count all the pores. It was a long hard struggle on the road to recuperation. Now I am back to work full time as an RN again, and my health is good enough.

I discovered too that the universe is listening: be careful what you envy, and what you wish for. You just might get it.

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Purplegal,

I am a registered nurse and I also have a debilitating disease therefore, I've been on both sides of the fence. From my experience believe me when I say you don't EVER want to be on the sick side. I'm not sure what you're going through but it sounds like you may want to talk to a professional because I think you're overwhelmed and this is a cry for help. Being a hostage to your own body is not the answer perhaps cutting back (if possible) on some of your responsibilities is more of what you seek then being ill. I hope you get the help that you need before you are overcome with an illness that forces you to rethink this comment.

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I think you just want to be rich.. a much better goal than being ill :-)

Lol, good one :)

Or maybe I just wish I had my boyfriend's schedule. He gets every single weekend off, so that, alone is 104 days in one year that he doesn't have to do anything. He also gets 9 days off in a row, 3 times this year. Minus the weekends, that's another 21 days he can do as he pleases, which is basically nothing. He gets at least 125 days a year to be lazy, while I'm working myself to death (not literally). No wonder he never has to use any sick days. The next time I get as many days off as him I'll be sick or even dead. He also regularly has the option of getting enough sleep, whereas I am often trying to thrive on 5-6 hours, if even that.

Maybe it's not the patients that I'm actually jealous of, it's probably healthy people like this guy who get all these days off after working an extremely easy job and who can get away with having an average/mediocre work ethic.

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Don't envy your patients. I will tell you who to envy Prisoners!

They eat better than I do (especially Federal prisoners)

Watch tv and hang out with their buddies

Play games all day stay up all night

A lot of people look forward to prison for these reasons

And if you fortunate and have someone on the outside put money on your books you can buy all sorts of commissary. From ice creams to Xboxes.

So I am told from inmates in the jail I currently work at. I'm sure it varies from state to state

After watching some shows featuring inmates in jail, it does appear that these people, who have not only not contributed to society, but have taken away from society, can sometimes, at times, get more than what they deserve.

They probably should take away some of those privileges, to be honest, as jail is not supposed to be fun.

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Specializes in Psych.

*laughing* No, I'm a hospice nurse so I NEVER envy my patients.:rolleyes:

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Specializes in Pedi.
Lol, good one :)

Or maybe I just wish I had my boyfriend's schedule. He gets every single weekend off, so that, alone is 104 days in one year that he doesn't have to do anything. He also gets 9 days off in a row, 3 times this year. Minus the weekends, that's another 21 days he can do as he pleases, which is basically nothing. He gets at least 125 days a year to be lazy, while I'm working myself to death (not literally). No wonder he never has to use any sick days. The next time I get as many days off as him I'll be sick or even dead. He also regularly has the option of getting enough sleep, whereas I am often trying to thrive on 5-6 hours, if even that.

Maybe it's not the patients that I'm actually jealous of, it's probably healthy people like this guy who get all these days off after working an extremely easy job and who can get away with having an average/mediocre work ethic.

I think you need to focus on finding a full-time NURSING job so you can ditch the tech job. Many nurses working in a hospital work 3 12 hr shifts and therefore have 4 days per week/208 days per year off where they can "do nothing." There are also nursing positions that you can obtain, like mine, where you work Mon-Fri like your boyfriend. I get every weekend, 7 holidays and 18 days of PTO off per year. I don't "do nothing" on my days off but I do as I please.

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(my bold)

The parts of your post that I reacted and responded to were:

To me they don't imply that you "totally understand where posters are coming from" and it doesn't sound to me that you think it's "okay".

You might not have wanted to call out individual posters, but perhaps in that situation it's simply better do keep your opinion/interpretation of posters' "levels of judgement" to yourself? To me at least, what you chose to do is similar to walking through a commuter train during rush hour, declaring loudly that "someone in here smells like feces" (yes I admit, that was a rather crappy analogy ;)), leaving everyone wondering if it was them you were referring to.

If you object to something a poster says and call them something less than flattering, like harshly negative or judgmental, by telling them directly you give them the chance to respond. They can explain their viewpoint and clarify if they feel the need to.

The following quote comes off as condescending to me. I have no way of knowing if that's how you intended it, but it's definitely how I perceive it.

Perhaps you shared this purely out of kindness and concern for the poster's emotional wellbeing, but it would surprise me if I'm the only one who thought it was a bit patronizing. How a poster responds in a thread on social media/a forum, likely has little or no bearing on how they behave on duty, and I don't think it's okay to imply that another poster isn't able to conduct herself in a professional manner at work (and doing it under the guise of offering friendly advice), based solely on a reply here.

You are of course free to post in whatever style you see fit, but as you've noticed I will let my view be known when something rubs me the wrong way :) Opinionated is pretty much my middle name :lol2:

Thank you.

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Specializes in New Grad 2020.
After watching some shows featuring inmates in jail, it does appear that these people, who have not only not contributed to society, but have taken away from society, can sometimes, at times, get more than what they deserve.

They probably should take away some of those privileges, to be honest, as jail is not supposed to be fun.

I agree I like to think of it as "misguided summer camp" :)

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