disrespect or am I just a whimp?

  1. Hi! I have a question. I am currently a nursing student working on my pre-req. I work in an extremely busy internal medicine practice as a medical secretary/medical assistant. My question is, how do nurses or even other medical personnal handle a doctor that treats you like dirt? I know that to even be the medical field you have to have "broad shoulders" but what is the fine line between showing respect or just plain humuliation? My doctor loves to put me in my place and push me around. I think he really finds pleasure in this. Am I being too sensitive? Internally it just tells me I am a whimp and I can't take criticism--how can I handle being a nurse Thanks for your support
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  2. 28 Comments

  3. by   P_RN
    You are not a wimp.

    You are being bullied by your "boss." All doctors are not this way, but still there are some out there who would take great delight in making nurses feel inferior.

    This is abuse!It is also ILLEGAL. Check out this site.

    http://www.provcomm.net/pages/joe/adult_bullying.htm
    Last edit by P_RN on Mar 24, '03
  4. by   fab4fan
    This is one of the unfortunate aspects of the profession. It takes time to learn how to handle it, and everybody handles it differently, it seems.

    There should be a zero-tolerance for this...I believe it violates federal law to have a "hostile workplace." Proving your case can be difficult.

    I have written doctors up, but the one thing that really seems to work (for me) is to just stop what I am doing and stare silently at the doc. Pretty soon, he/she looks like an idiot.

    Like I said, you'll have to find your own way that works.
  5. by   SingingNurse2
    I agree fab4, my evil eye has helped me in many a difficult situation.

    Speak softly and carry a BIG stick!
  6. by   renerian
    I would pull him to the side tell him how you feel and that you would like to be treated better. I have done that with several docs and got apologies from all of them.


    renerian
  7. by   tammilynn
    Thanks for all the support. I was starting to think that all doctors were like this. I think all anyone in the medical world-nurses, secretaries, LPN-demand respect. After all, without us, who would carry out the orders of the doctor?
  8. by   Flynurse
  9. by   Tweety
    Quote from a wise one: sjoe say's "We will get exactly as much crap as we will take."

    'nuff said.
  10. by   sjoe
    Or to respond in a somewhat less tactful way:

    Your question: "disrespect or am I just a whimp?" can be most directly answered, "Yes, it is disrespect, and yes, you are a wimp--at least so far."
    Last edit by sjoe on Mar 25, '03
  11. by   AAHZ
    I KNOW THAT ITS NOT RIGHT, BUT I HAVE OFFERED TO HAVE FOLLOW-UP DISCUSSIONS IN THE PARKING LOT WITH A FEW DOCS THAT I HAVE MET. YOU NEED TO LEARN TO STAND UP, LOOK 'EM IN THE EYE, AND TELL 'EM TO "KNOCK IT THE "F" OFF".
    REMINDING THEM THAT ITS ILLEGAL HELPS TOO.
  12. by   LaVorneRN
    Tamm,
    I have to agree with those who say in general, "PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE"!!!!!!!
    I am am nurse now but when I was a CNA I didn't take any crap from obnoxious docs. I have given them that puzzled WTF look and asked them "who do you think you're talking to like that?" It only takes one time and you have their respect forever. I have had doctors say "hey you" to be followed by some order. When they realize I haven't turned my head or answered in their direction they repeat it but get in my face. I would not look at them at first then stare at them blankly and say,"my name is LaVorne. Can I help you?" They get it. Immediately. You don't get respect unless you demand respect and it doesn't matter who you are, what color you are, what position you hold, how old you are, etc.
    Look em in the eye, as AAHZ says, and let them know you are not tolerating their bullsh*t.
    You can do it nice or you can do it nasty. However you do it, don't smile-look as serious as you would if someone slapped yo mama!!!!
  13. by   ohbet
    What would Jesus do?
  14. by   baseline
    Over the years I have used many different responses. Depends on the situation. And of course my confidence level has increased over the years. My latest was a physician who was yippin' at me about something really foolish. I was just ignoring him. Finally he said....."HEY I"M TALKING TO YOU". I simply responded .... "Not to ME....not in that tone of voice." And walked away.

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