Dislike towards the patient whom I know outside work - page 2

I soon will be starting a job in dialysis. Yay! In the same facility my former dentist goes to. I feel really bad about this person. He really messed up my teeth and was very unprofessional and... Read More

  1. by   Been there,done that
    Quote from ClumsyOne
    Ouch! I am sorry you've gone through that.
    Thanks, many years ago.. but beyond ouch... tears streaming down my face and pain no one should have to endure. I would love the chance to get even. I'm the one with the instruments now.

    Probably better that you step away. Revenge requires a special kind of Chutzpah.
    Last edit by Been there,done that on Jan 2
  2. by   traumaRUs
    I would tell your supervisor that due to a personal conflict, you can't work in that clinic.

    In many dialysis clinics, there is only one RN so you will be taking care of him. Ethically since you had this professional conflict, you can't provide unbiased care and in fact, you are leaving yourself open to further conflicts should any issue befall this pt
  3. by   Crush
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    I would remove myself from his care in any way possible. If this means trading assignments, or to the extreme, a patient you will see on the regular (like in dialysis 3 days a week, moving to another clinic)-----whatever it takes. DO NOT be in the position to care for this person.
    Quote from Scottishtape
    Tell your supervisor that you and that patient have an outside personal relationship and it's a conflict of interest to be his nurse.

    That should be enough for them to put him with a different nurse.

    I would not take care of that patient either.
    Quote from KatieMI
    If you can step over your feelings and just see a poor human being living quite a miserable life now, please go ahead and do it. Even if he screwed up uour teeth once. Such moments are what make nursing precious, IMHO.

    I once cared for a patient who was one of most malignant, NETY-loving high profile managers I knew. She did not personally harrassed me, but I knew that it was, for a large, her influence which made possible all the hell I went through in my first year. I had no choice as I was only one in the unit available for that specific (technical and very painful) task. Hearing her barely whispering "thank you" in the short minutes she could breathe on her own was something I will remember till I am alive.

    Otherwise, just go to your manager and honestly let her know that the guy and you are too well familiar to each other outside of setting and, as an acquaintance, you do not want run into HIPAA/ethic/blah issues. It is a common occurence in community setting and shouldn't be an issue.
    Quote from traumaRUs
    I would tell your supervisor that due to a personal conflict, you can't work in that clinic.

    In many dialysis clinics, there is only one RN so you will be taking care of him. Ethically since you had this professional conflict, you can't provide unbiased care and in fact, you are leaving yourself open to further conflicts should any issue befall this pt
    Very good advise above. There are some people who we should just not be assigned to and if it is an issue or a potential issue, we need to make it known to our supervisor. I have no experience with dialysis but as mentioned, if you are the only RN then you may have contact of some degree on a regular basis even if able to have someone else take on more of his care. For sure a conversation with someone needs to happen.
  4. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    I worked in an ER for years & often dealt with the same drug-addicted / drunk / violent / crazy / dirty patients over and over again for the same problem. Many of these patients I frankly hated on a personal level and if (outside of work) they were drowning I would be tempted to throw a cinder block to. However, that's why they call it work I guess and we get that check every two weeks. I don't feel the need to chit-chat with any patient ever. I'll do it when I feel like it but I don't bring Pom-Poms to work & ain't a cheerleader. I'd do my job and be professional & cordial if I couldn't get out of treating this guy
  5. by   Davey Do
    Quote from ClumsyOne
    In the same facility my former dentist goes to. I feel really bad about this person. He really messed up my teeth and was very unprofessional and neglectful towards me. He has no ethics or conscience. I don't wanna go in too many details here. And I don't even know how I will interact with that person again and as their nurse especially. I will be as professional as I should just like with all the other patients. but being friendly or having a small talk with this person seems like will be way too hard for me to do.
    What do you do in a situation when you have such a strong dislike for a patient whom you know outside work and have personal reasons to dislike?
    You've got some good advice from the other posters, ClumsyOne, but consider this:

    The best way to learn to do something is by trying it- getting both of your feet wet. As a wise man once said, "We learn to deal with stress through having stress".

    We are professionals who get paid for proving a service . We do not get paid for our personal beliefs or feelings. We need to strive to always put principles above personalities.

    Many, many nurses have provided quality care to patients with whom elicited an array of emotions. Just because a patient has a history of being a bad person does not disqualify them from receiving quality care from an objectively minded professional.

    If we sell out on one patient for our personal feelings, we might as well pick and choose who we believe deserves or does not deserve care.

    While we're at it we might as well give up our integrity. Then, everything else will be a piece of cake.

    The very best to you.
  6. by   mstaurus2016
    I would avoid taking care of this particular patient.
  7. by   tsomargotte
    The only ex or current patient of mine that I ever saw out and about was seated at a table near mine at a restaurant just after we'd ordered.

    I changed my seat so I didn't have to look at her. I hadn't disliked her. I just didn't want to risk indigestion. Hers or mine.
  8. by   iluvivt
    [QUOTE=KatieMI;9683798]If you can step over your feelings and just see a poor human being living quite a miserable life now, please go ahead and do it. Even if he screwed up uour teeth once. Such moments are what make nursing precious, IMHO.

    I once cared for a patient who was one of most malignant, NETY-loving high profile managers I knew. She did not personally harrassed me, but I knew that it was, for a large, her influence which made possible all the hell I went through in my first year. I had no choice as I was only one in the unit available for that specific (technical and very painful) task. Hearing her barely whispering "thank you" in the short minutes she could breathe on her own was something I will remember till I am alive.


    You bet I would take care of that dentist and I would show him how a professional behaves.He will know! I had a similar situation as above but it was with a ward secretary who was very jealous and spreading rumors that I was a whore. My boyfriend was a handsome respiratory therapist who worked with us so it made the rumors juicier. Well one day the jealous lady gets admitted to our floor with a bowel obstruction and I was charge nurse that evening. I said to the assigned nurse,"Oh please let me help you admit her". You should have seen the look on her face when I walked in. I gave her the best care and got her as comfortable as possible and checked on her all shift. She never uttered one bad word about me after that and was kind to me until the dsy she retired.I decided to take the high road.
  9. by   traumaRUs
    The issue is really one of ethics and legalities: if anything happens to this patient while you are there, you can bet the family will be aware of past issues with this pt and a lawsuit will be in the works that you let your personal feelings get in the way of caring for this pt.

    Dialysis pts die on dialysis! No joke!

    I would not accept this position and would never ever be in the unit when he was there....
  10. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from KatieMI
    Hearing her barely whispering "thank you" in the short minutes she could breathe on her own was something I will remember till I am alive.
    Wha...?

    Is there something we should know about you Katie?
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I agree with Trauma. You need to work in another clinic. Dialysis is not the place to deal with a patient you feel that intensely about. You won't be able to hide your feelings and there is no way you can provide objective care for him. He is not going anywhere. So you need to.
  12. by   Wuzzie
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    I agree with Trauma. You need to work in another clinic. Dialysis is not the place to deal with a patient you feel that intensely about. You won't be able to hide your feelings and there is no way you can provide objective care for him. He is not going anywhere. So you need to.
    Her objectivity aside (and I totally agree with you) I still think the bigger risk is if this person is as malignant as she says he could cause her some very serious trouble no matter how excellent the care she provides. I think her license and livelihood would be at risk.
  13. by   ClumsyOne
    Quote from SmilingBluEyes
    I agree with Trauma. You need to work in another clinic. Dialysis is not the place to deal with a patient you feel that intensely about. You won't be able to hide your feelings and there is no way you can provide objective care for him. He is not going anywhere. So you need to.
    I am just starting in nursing, and have no previous experience, it is not like I have employers lined up waiting to hire me. If I had other choice than work there I would take it. As far as I know there are at least two nurses in the morning and at night usually, and about 4 during the day. Some come in at 5 am and leave at 6 pm, and other two come in at 9 am and leave at 10 pm or something like that.

    I am not worried of not being able to provide objective care. I am very conscientious person and always try hard at performing my job ( no matter what the job is).

    I worry about the human connection/communication aspect, I don't think I'd be able to be friendly and even look this person in the eyes. I am still deeply appalled by the way he treated me as a professional and as a human being. And I don't think he'd be happy to see me either so I don't know how he will act in that situation, so I am concerned about that sort of thing.
    Last edit by ClumsyOne on Jan 4

close