Broken spirit....Register Today!
- by RNsuperstar Jul 30, '12Hi there,
So, I am a new grad. I was fortunate enough to have found a job on a med surg floor in a hospital in my town. I went thru 8 weeks of orientation (orientation was cut 2 weeks short due to staffing needs), and I have been on my own for 3 months. I have made a couple of mistakes in the past week and I am really afraid/stressed/upset/disappointed in myself.
First, I wrote a TO on the wrong chart. It was caught though, and corrected. I wrote the order during shift change in the am. I was tired, trying to give report etc. But, still it was MY fault. And I own up to it. I felt terrible...and still do. But, nobody was hurt.....thank god.
Second one....I called a doctor (who is known for being rude, and mean to everybody) at 2am for BP being high. He was ****** for me calling him, and was really rude to me (with out reason) He asked if the pt was on a beta blocker and I told him no. So, doctor ordered a beta blocker and lasix. About an hour laterr, (pharmacy still didn't have the medication on the profile yet, so med wasn't given), I realized that the pt WAS already on beta blocker. I had to call the doctor, and explain this to him. He chewed me out. Said to tranfer his pt to ICU since I am going to kill every pt I come into contact with. He is known for being jerk, but this whole thing caused lots of drama. The house supervisor had to call him. He told her he never wants me taking care of any of his pts. I talked with my charge and house sup, and they said , yes it was my fault for not seeing the beta blocker, but I did the right thing by catching the error, owning up to it, and calling the doctor. I emailed my floor manager about this, an dI have yet to get a reply. I feel so terrible.
So, I know I need to be more preapared when calling docotrs. I need to triple check everything. But, I don't know how to fix my broken spirit, and my anxiety about making mistakes. During my orientation, my preceptor (who was known for being really tough) was very supportive, and told everybody that I was doing well. She has oriented a lot of new grads and told me that I was the best by far. I don't want to brag....but that made me feel pretty good.....so I know I am capable of being an excelent nurse.
I know I can do this job and do it well. And for the most part I feel I do. I always address issues with my pts and I don't let them slide. My pts usually really like me becaseu I listen to them and don't ignore them. I feel like I give a good report, and my fellow nurses say they "like" getting my pts because I try my best to set them up for a good day (pt clean, pain free, consents signs, meds given, fluids full, room clean, enough supplies)
How do I mend my broken spirit? Has anything like this happened to you? Please help me keep my chin up.....I feel so bad.
- Jul 30, '12 by Been there,done thatSo, you are doing a spectacular job.
You run across a jerk doctor ( many more to come ) and feel you have a broken spirit.
It is dificult to glance at a medical record and assess if any of the meds are beta blockers. If Dr. Jerk knew his patient, he would have known if they were receiving beta blockers.
Instead , the problem .. and the doctors lack of knowledge was thrown back at the messenger (YOU).
Your facility knows that Dr. Jerk is a jerk. Ask for clarification and support from administration instead of cow-towing to Major Jerk .
Keep your head held high ,you are doing great.
- Jul 30, '12 by juzmefirst of all; HUGS TO YOU!!!You are a new grad, you need to give yourself at least a good year to feel even remotely comfortable! Nursing is very hard! You are not going to catch everything or ever stop making mistakes BUT you can minimize them and try to stick to a routine...make up a cheat sheet of questions you know the md may want, know what meds your pt is on, have a set of recent vs, etc.
At the end of every shift, ask what you have learned and what you can improve on and do your best...that's all any of us can do...perfection is impossible but excellence is achievable!, some days..lol but really give yourself some credit, owning up to a mistake is part of the battle! Good luck to you:-)
- Jul 30, '12 by tokebiI know the emotional sting when you're put down by physicians with personality issues because they attack your intelligence and dignity. Time doesn't heal everything, but time will certainly lessen the pain. I remember the times when I felt so discouraged and humiliated when I had similar encounters when I was starting out. It was so painful even to think about it. Now it doesn't bother me anymore. I know I am not as green and constantly improving. When physicians belittle you instead of focusing on patient care, it's their issue. You did your job. Sounds like you're a terrific new grad nurse. Don't let a few nasty people break your spirit.
- Jul 30, '12 by JBuddIt's hard not to let him get into your head; yes you made a mistake but it wasn't as earthshattering as that idiot made it into. As Beenthere said, why didn't the doc know what HE had ordered already?
I was out of state on a family emergency, my husband flew in but was out of his meds and didn't bring the bottle with him. I called my PCP to see if he would call in a script the next day when he had access to his records for us, he knew off the top of his head what dh needed and called it to a local pharmacy then and there. This guy had a huge family practice!
Eleanor Roosevelt said " no one can make you feel inferior without your permission". I'm impressed you caught both errors as quickly as you did (means you are double checking yourself, and paying attention. Can't ask for for more for in a new grad.).
So, deep breath, give a mental finger to Dr. Imgod'sidiotgiftotheworld, and go on. We've all made mistakes, and some of us wish we had caught them as early as you did.
- Jul 30, '12 by Ruby Veeeveryone makes mistakes, and newbies make more mistakes. catching the mistake, owning up to it and doing everything possible to mitigate the damage is very important, and it sounds as if that's what you did.
you are right that you need to be more prepared when calling doctors. when calling about a blood pressure issue, you should already have gone through the medication list and be aware of which of them affect blood pressure and in what way. it might have helped to have run that one by a more experienced nurse to make sure you had all your ducks in a row before making the call. now you've learned that, and you've learned it the hard way. which exactly the same way i learned it.
becoming a competent and experienced nurse means getting the experience . . . and going through the phase of being new, inexperienced and, yes, incompetent. we all go through that phase. you're well on your way to getting through it.
- Jul 30, '12 by classicdamestay in there. You will always come across jerks, MD and otherwise. Just do the best you can and ALWAYS protect your patient. If needed, initiate chain of command. I would write an incident report on the MD too, since most hospitals have in their policy that employees cannot treat one another that way. Even if he is not an employee, he should be reprimanded. Nights are stressful. Maybe you could get the charge nurse to look over the situation before you make calls. Good luck
- Jul 30, '12 by uRNmywayWow, I hear ya on that, but you have to buck up and get a tougher skin. It is awesome that you owned up to your mistake, I've known much more experienced nurses try to slide it under the carpet, and play 'Deny, deny, deny' if someone catches it. So congratulations on being responsible and accountable.
Now about this Dr. Jerk. I'll repeat what others have said. Ignore him. Don't take what he said to heart. You know you are a good nurse. You have listed some of many reasons I'm sure you are a fantastic nurse, and will only become better with time. Some MDs let those little letters get to their heads. They forget that without nurses, they are nothing. Do you think they could handle our shifts? Do you think they could handle being all that we are for the patient, then have them thank someone else when they get better ("Oh thank you so much Dr. So-and-so for taking care of me and curing me!")? Some of them, maybe. Some would be crying in a corner by the end of a shift. Many would go around kissing their RNs feet after a week of it .
I've found that some Drs can be major D bags, especially at night. I guess for one, they dont realize if we call them at 3am, its not because we were bored and wanted to talk to someone, its because something is wrong. For two, they get paid to stay home and answer calls. Id love to do that instead of spending it with my sun-downers!
I had one Neurologist who chewed me out once at night. It was 3am, I was covering for a colleague on her break. Her patient had IV hep, had a control PTT, and it was sky high for like the 2nd time in a row. The protocol that this MD had signed said to call him if the results were out of range more than once. So I called. He yells at me for calling at this time, asks "And what do you want me to do about it?!" To which I answered "I don't know, you're the doctor, Im calling you to find out what YOU want ME to do." He proceeded to hang up without any orders. I documented, documented, and documented some more. Helped that my shift manager heard him yell at me over the phone from across the room. She wrote to our head nurse, she wrote to the Dean of the Neurology Department, who chewed him out and made him apologize to me. Moral of the story, dont be a jerk to your nurses, because you are human too, and theres someone above you who can chew you out too!Last edit by uRNmyway on Jul 30, '12 : Reason: Forgot a word
- Jul 30, '12 by Do-overQuote from RNsuperstarTime and reflection will hopefully mend your spirit. I think reporting an errors can be part of the "mending" process. Don't need to add more guilt onto the guilt of an error. Like you said, own it and learn from it.How do I mend my broken spirit? Has anything like this happened to you? Please help me keep my chin up.....I feel so bad.
One of the things I struggle with (as a matter of fact, its been bugging me this week) is having a patient deteriorate and using hindsight to analyze "I should have/could have done this, that, or the other". I try to remind myself that I can only do the very best I can.
I am fortunate to have a manager that seems to appreciate self-reporting.
Communication with physicians and other nurses/staff is yet another thing, I think, that comes with experience. I am starting to feel much better about my strategies for reporting to docs, but I learn everyday.Last edit by Do-over on Jul 30, '12