ashamed today

  1. Hi, this is my first post, but I needed to express my feelings about this somewhere.
    The reason I'm posting is because I'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. I work at a very large hospital and I know, or know of, so many RN's that had or are having affairs with married MD's. It's sickening to me. Some of these women just don't care that they are destroying a family as long as they get to snag a rich MD. Of course, the MD's are at fault too, but the things these women do to get their attention are shameful. One woman in my department would constantly touch one of the MD's (pretty soon after she started working there), sit next to him and put her feet on his lap or even his shoulder, gave him a wedgie, etc. I always saw her initiating the inappropriate behavior. They ended up having an affair. This is just one example. A lot of nurses come to work-related events, like dinner after a C.E. lecture, dressed in super low-cut, tight outfits, etc. They talk about sex and inappropriate stuff with the MD's. They behave in a way that makes it obvious that they are willing to throw themselves at them any time they want. It's not just a few, it's a lot of them, and that's only the ones I know. I'm not an envious person, and I am very attractive, so this is not jealousy on my part. But I have seen the devastation that affairs cause in my own family, and I would never ever behave in a way that may end up breaking up a marriage. I guess I could consider filing a sexual harrasment claim, but I don't thing that would change a thing. I hate that people may assume I'm like that too just because they see so many acting this way.
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  2. 40 Comments

  3. by   Mulan
    I have never seen this type of behavior.
  4. by   dona4jc
    Never seen this. That is sad and sickening!
  5. by   davisr69
    Quote from Mulan
    I have never seen this type of behavior.
    :spin:

    It sure does get pretty thick sometimes even in smaller institutions. There is one beautiful renal doc in the facility I work in-6'2 a true beauty-and a girl who plays hockey with the boys. Not sure I'd give her a wedgie or put my feet up in her lap
  6. by   ortess1971
    You are entitled to feel offended but with all due respect, you are not the decorum police. Do you know for a fact that the nurse and doctor you spoke of are having an affair? Affairs may break up marriages but so does malicious gossip. In my department, there is a lot of teasing that can get a bit raunchy(never around patients) but most of us have no interest in nailing a doctor. Those that do, well, they are consenting adults. What they do in their off time is nobodys business..I wouldn't worry so much about everyone else, truthfully.Live your live according to your values and don't get involved in the gossip machine. IMHO. that's more of a problem in hospitals than sexual indiscretions. Just my 2 cents..As an example, the is a CRNA that gives the BEST backrubs. I'm sure someone from the outside would think something was up but it's harmless. You tend to get very close with some of these people because you're with them most of your waking hours.
    Last edit by ortess1971 on Oct 25, '06
  7. by   susiegirl
    The reason I posted here is because I don't feel comfortable talking to people about this at work, so I'm not spreading the gossip. I do know for a fact that those two had an affair. She wasn't very discreet. And I highly doubt this gossip is getting to the wives. What I wrote about is what I have observed myself, and I do believe it's more than a matter of decorum. It's inappropriate behavior in the workplace.
  8. by   BabyRN2Be
    I would have to agree with Ortess. I've worked in L&D directly on and off for 16 years and I have never seen anyone having an affair. If they are, they are keeping professional and to themselves.

    Not that I'm chiding anyone, I'm agreeing with Ortess that gossip can be more of a problem.

    Where I work, all of the nurses are so professional. They talk about their lives WITH each other, not about each other. I would LOVE to work with them one day because of their professionalism.
  9. by   susiegirl
    I'm glad this doesn't seem to be as rampant as I thought. I think this hospital has a bad reputation for it. They have a very progressive attitude in treating RN's as equals, which is great, but I think it makes some people think they can behave in a less professional way. A friend of mine is good friends with an MD's wife, and when her husband had an affair (not with an RN, a resident), the marriage counselor told her that 25% of his practice was MD's from this hospital that had affairs with coworkers (mostly RN's and techs, but also other MDs)
  10. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Whether the people are having affairs or not is irrelevant. These things are what stood out to me:

    One woman in my department would constantly touch one of the MD's (pretty soon after she started working there), sit next to him and put her feet on his lap or even his shoulder, gave him a wedgie, etc.
    They talk about sex and inappropriate stuff with the MD's.
    I hate that people may assume I'm like that too just because they see so many acting this way.

    In other words, what's going on isn't professional, and it's going on at work, at a hospital not a hotel, whether someone's on the clock or not, whether it's moral or not. And for those that aren't participating in that sort of 'behavior', it's creating an uncomfortable work environment, and people should not have to tolerate that crap.

    Not to mention, wrong as it might be, the behavior of a few can wind up being a horrible reputation for the whole unit. And i certainly wouldn't tolerate people assuming that i'm just like those flirty birds simply because i work with them.
    Last edit by Marie_LPN, RN on Oct 25, '06
  11. by   traumaRUs
    I guess I wonder where you guys work...in the 10 years I worked in the ER and another 1 in ICU and another year in medsurg, I've never had time to notice or care about other employees behavior. If it's bothersome and obvious, kick it up the food chain.
  12. by   nuangel1
    Quote from traumaRUs
    I guess I wonder where you guys work...in the 10 years I worked in the ER and another 1 in ICU and another year in medsurg, I've never had time to notice or care about other employees behavior. If it's bothersome and obvious, kick it up the food chain.
    :yeahthat:

    same here i have never seen this in 20 yrs and i have worked multiple places .
  13. by   Tweety
    I've never seen that kind of behavior either. But if it isn't affecting patient care directly it's none of my business.

    I agree that it is offensive, unprofessional, etc.
  14. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from Tweety
    I've never seen that kind of behavior either. But if it isn't affecting patient care directly it's none of my business.

    I agree that it is offensive, unprofessional, etc.
    Wow, I live in a small town and I've seen it alot. Alot. Seriously.

    That is all I can say since some of my co-workers come here.

    And did anyone read "The House Of God"?

    I will say that in other jobs, I've seen alot of office romances between married folks. I've walked in on inappropriate behavior.

    I agree with Marie - the behavior at work needs to stop.

    steph

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