An other nurse flat told a lie about me

  1. Well, I went to work last night and at 0300 the Nursing supervisor called me to her office and told me Nurse L was hurt and angry at me and had called her house upset that day. I was blindsided because I hadn't a clue as to why. I've never had a problem with her or her performance. The Supervisor told me that Nurse S., to whom I had given report to the previous am, told Nurse L. I said she had given me a bad report. I was confused as I couldn't even remember who I HAD given report to. I did remember my report and no where in it did I say or imply I had gotten a bad report from Nurse L. So, I told the Nursing super I didn't say it. 'Cause, I DIDN'T!. She said Nurse L was coming in that am, and I needed to talk to her. I am not accoustomed to Mickey Mouse stuff like this, and the more I thought about it, the madder I got.I met with Nurse L. this am , and told her I didn't say it. I told her I had gone over in my mind what I did say, and couldn't even figure out where Nurse S. had come up with this or why she had. Up until last night, I had thought well of Nurse S, no more. In ten years I have never had a problem like this and I don't know what to do. Nurse L. said she believed me, I have a reputation for telling people exactly what I think of them to their face, and I won't say anything behind your back that I won't say to your face. I generally get along with everyone. What do I say to Nurse S? I am an agency Nurse and the other 2 are employees of this very small hospital. Nurse S., it turns out, has a reputation I didn't know about as a backstabber among her fellows. I tend to ignore things like that as I am an agency Nurse and up until now, I had no proof of it. I don't care for gossip. I had always gotten along with this Nurse, she is very young and the super's pet, so that doesn't help.I am hurt and angry and can think of no good reason for her to have started this, and I don't know how to handle this. I need to work there for another 8 weeks on the schedule and I'm looking for another place to work. But still, how do I handle it with her? What do I say?I'm not good at this having had no practise dealing with anything like it before....
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  2. 15 Comments

  3. by   passing thru
    Talk to your agency first...tell them all the details.
  4. by   catrn10
    I did, and they aren't sure what to do either.
  5. by   MishlB
    If this nurse has to call the supervisor at home because of this...she needs help. Unreal!!!!!
  6. by   simao pt
    Sooner or later this episode will fade away. Don't worry and move on with your life, even if it's hard in the beggining. Whatever's the place you go to you'll always find that kind of stupid people that like to put others down, so that they'll be the "saints". You have to relax and let time roll... Their turn will came...
    Last edit by simao pt on Jan 19, '03
  7. by   sjoe
    I just love passive-aggressive people. They are so much fun to work with!
  8. by   catrn10
    Yup, that's me....The Queen of passive aggression
  9. by   LadyDee
    Unfortunately, I think the reason why this behavior is allowed to continue is because the person is not confronted. Yet, everybody knows about. You have a reputation of speaking your mind and telling others what you think. Why is it different in this situation? Why do you feel as if you cannot confront nurse S. in a diplomatic way and let her know the pain her words not only caused you but also to nurse L.?
  10. by   Texagain
    Something similar happened to me once- A nurse I work with, I'll call her 'Mary' didn't (and still doesn't) like me for some reason. Even today, she always calls me by a wrong name, and I've worked with her for 5 years now. I quit correcting her-LOL.

    Anyway, 'Mary' paid way too much attention to my job and constantly pointed out any errors I made. I heard from another nurse that 'Mary' was telling everyone that I had been sent to peer review for poor nursing skills. Nothing even remotely close to this has ever happened to me, and I was very angry that 'Mary' was spreading these kinds of rumors about me.

    First, I told 'Mary' that if she had any complaints about my work, to put them in an email to me. This seemed to make her feel good rather than bad because I was not hostile about it but presented it in more of a light of making me aware of my mistakes. It also took away her gossip fodder because she would now be embarrassed for talking about me behind my back when I had asked her to come to me first.

    Then, I made an appointment with my NM to let her know that there was a problem between us, but more importantly, I gave the NM my plan for avoiding problems with 'Mary'. I told the NM that I told 'Mary' that if she had complaints about me to send me an email (paper trail) and told the NM that I will no longer have any conversations with 'Mary' at all other that to give and receive report, but I will not tell 'Mary' that this was my plan, and that from now on if we worked together, I would sit on the completely far opposite side of the station so as to avoid any conversation at all with 'Mary'.

    Mary never knew what happened. She tried to engage me in conversation, but I was always busy or far away. She seemed to follow me around for a while, but got no feedback from me. Eventually she moved on and started harrassing another nurse.
    It seems to be a pattern for her. I have never received an email from her, and the NM became aware of of 'Mary's wierdness. And of course, it helps to have a good NM.

    I heard from another victim, who was written up by 'Mary', that the NM threw away the write up. 'Mary' lost alot of her credibility.

    Anyway, protect yourself from wierdos.
  11. by   duckie
    I'm not one to back away from issues like this but rather meet them head on. I would tell NM that I wanted a meeting with both nurses in her presence and confront the liar. I have done this in the past and once things are out in the open, if it continues, you have proof of their behaviors, but usually, once people know you're not going to sit by quietly and take it, they'll move on. Good luck with however you handle it.
  12. by   night owl
    Beware of the workplace bully...they'll make your life a living hell. You might want to read up on her attention seeking ways and how to deal with it. Here's a good place to start. http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/attent.htm

    Many people have come across this kind of person at one time or another. I did many years ago and I wish I had this link to read up on at the time. The nurse I had an encounter with also had many encounters with many other nurses. She died of a brain tumor about 5 years ago and no one even cared that's how bad she was.
    I believe that in nursing school there should be a course given to learn how to deal with the "workplace bully" because there's one one in every facility and chances are you'll run into her/him eventually.
    Last edit by night owl on Jan 19, '03
  13. by   jemb
    I would diplomatically word a written request to the NM requesting a meeting with the NM and the backstabbing employee due to " a hostile work environment as evidenced in the situation of (date of occurrence). " and stating that you would like to work out the problems because you value your position with that facility,etc. I would send copies to your agency and to the facility's administrator/head of the department. That will put the ball in the facility's court, and with the cc's to other people, the NM can't ignore it. You'll go on record as the one who wants to solve the problem, not prolong it.
  14. by   catrn10
    Thank everyone of you so much. I feel like I will be able to handle this in a professional manner now. This was exactly what I needed, Thank you.

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