A Dear Abbey letter. What is your take?

[Faeriewand]

I would like to hear your opinions regarding this situation from a letter taken from Dear Abbey. Do you agree with Abbey? Or should the nurse have done something differently?

DEAR ABBY: While sitting with my husband in the hospital following his surgery, a nurse entered his room. We all chatted while she took his pulse, etc., when -- without warning -- she removed his covers to check the surgery site and totally exposed his genitals.

I was shocked and embarrassed, and have trouble ridding myself of the image of my naked husband lying there in front of another woman. I wish the nurse had given me the chance to leave the room.

Is there something wrong with me for having so much trouble with this? What can I do to avoid this in the future? -- RED-FACED IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR RED-FACED: On a scale of 10, I'd say you are probably an 8 on the "uptight" scale. You seem to have forgotten that the woman in the room with you was not a lap dancer, but a health-care professional performing her duties. Your husband was her patient, and in her eyes, was probably as sexless as a CPR dummy. To avoid embarrassment in the future, leave the room when the nurse enters

[Mandylpn]

Well, it depends, did she just whip the sheet back or did she obtain the patient's permission to check and gently fold the sheet back without over-exposing him? even with a family member there, he deserves some privacy.:icon_roll

[ICUUCME]

IF visitors want 24 hour access and are constantly in the room they should be prepared to " see" some not so nice things.:chuckle

[hospitalstaph]

IF visitors want 24 hour access and are constantly in the room they should be prepared to " see" some not so nice things.:chuckle

Exactly!!!! After my husband endured a rectal examine with his mother and brother (and our priest) in attendance while in a trauma bay, I completely closed his ICU room off to anyone that was not escorted by me, and only after I knew what treatment might be happening during the visit. Medicine is not always pretty is it?

Tracy

[nursey_girl]

I work in labor and delivery. A lot of "things" are exposed there and a lot of modesty goes out the window. It's still my patients option to maintain as much modesty as possible, and more that a few fathers opt to leave the room during lady partsl exams, and more that a few moms request they leave...The nurse was wrong for not respecting her patient's privacy, and Abby was wrong ( if not just down right rude!) in her resonse as well.. I agree, she'll get a mail response blasting for it!

[imenid37]

Working in L/D, I find that I try to preserve the pt's modesty and everyone wants to look. I love it when some male in the room (not the FOB) grumbles because they must walk their weary behind out of the room for a VE. (Gee maybe you don't belong in the room!) I think this woman sounds to be a bit of a prude. Let's face it, many pt's. don't care who looks and some nurses may get desensitized to it. It is also an age thing. I wouldn't care if my husband's parts were exposed if I was in the room w/ the nurse or doctor, but my mother might be embarrassed. The other issue is, did she need to expose his genital area. Was the abdomen being examined perhaps and the sheet could be pulled up over this are while the gown was pulled up to expose the abdomen.

[grannynurse FNP student]

Exactly!!!! After my husband endured a rectal examine with his mother and brother (and our priest) in attendance while in a trauma bay, I completely closed his ICU room off to anyone that was not escorted by me, and only after I knew what treatment might be happening during the visit. Medicine is not always pretty is it?

Tracy

I guess that respect for one's patient and his/her privacy is something that is no longer taught in nursing programs or as part of staff education. I really do not care about those of you who apparently lack any sense of modesty but neither you nor Dear Abbey have any right to make fun of or look down on those that still do. And I take exception to your condensing remarks about any patient who expects their modesty to be respected.

Grannynurse:balloons:

[daisybaby, LPN]

I too work in L&D. When I need to do a VE, fundal check, assist a mom to nurse, or anything that may expose the patient, I first explain that to the patient. Then I ask, in a low voice, "Shall I ask anyone in the room to step out for a moment?" If the pt says yes, I 'invite' the guests to go to the family room and grab a coffee or some 'fresh air' for a few minutes. I find it is pretty effective in clearing the room, and the patient appreciates the sensitivity.

I do agree that to an extent, the wife in the article was a little overly sensitive, and Abby was a little harsh as well.

[hospitalstaph]

I guess that respect for one's patient and his/her privacy is something that is no longer taught in nursing programs or as part of staff education. I really do not care about those of you who apparently lack any sense of modesty but neither you nor Dear Abbey have any right to make fun of or look down on those that still do. And I take exception to your condensing remarks about any patient who expects their modesty to be respected.

Grannynurse:balloons:

I was not aware that I was making fun of anyone or looking down on anyone. I was simply sharing how I worked to protect my husbands privacy. I am missing something???

Tracy

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

The woman herself said that she struggles with the idea of her husband laying naked in front of another woman. WOMAN, not nurse. Come on, obviously she has a bit of a jealousy issue not a modesty issue.

The only mistake I see made was that the nurse, according to this woman's letter ONLY mind you, pulled back the blankets without warning. And anyway, we don't know if this was an accident or not? Perhaps it was...happens to me every now and then.

The woman said that they chatted for a while, so I am sure the nurse knew this was his wife and probably felt that it was unneccessary to ask her to leave the room. Big deal. This is her husband's genitals we are talking about. Obviously, she is the only one embarrassed by seeing them so I find it quite comical and I am sure DA did as well, hence her reply.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

oh and another thing...if this is the only complaint she has about his hospital stay then she is a lucky woman! I am sure DA would have taken a different tone, had her issue been missed meds, unchanged sheets, or nosocomial/iatrogenic infection.

[grannynurse FNP student]

The woman herself said that she struggles with the idea of her husband laying naked in front of another woman. WOMAN, not nurse. Come on, obviously she has a bit of a jealousy issue not a modesty issue.

The only mistake I see made was that the nurse, according to this woman's letter ONLY mind you, pulled back the blankets without warning. And anyway, we don't know if this was an accident or not? Perhaps it was...happens to me every now and then.

The woman said that they chatted for a while, so I am sure the nurse knew this was his wife and probably felt that it was unneccessary to ask her to leave the room. Big deal. This is her husband's genitals we are talking about. Obviously, she is the only one embarrassed by seeing them so I find it quite comical and I am sure DA did as well, hence her reply.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

You apparently are unaware of the number of husbands and wives who do not expose themselves to one another. And you apparently are unaware of religious restrictions regarding nudity. And you certainly give a great deal of latitude to the nurse's 'mistake' of yanking back the covers and exposing the patient's genitals to his wife. And by you, I mean all of the collective you who think the wife is off the deep end. Perhaps all of you and DA could benefit from some retraining in cultural and religious values and restrictions.

Grannynurse:balloons:

[LydiaNN]

The woman said she was shocked and embarrassed, not jealous. She didn't say she doesn't understand why a nurse would need to see her husband's genitals, she said she would have liked the opportunity to leave the room. Call her uptight if you will, but putting the J label on her, just because she is modest, is unfair.