"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

Nurses General Nursing

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It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.

Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire

It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.

I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."

In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

BTW, this post is intriguing - can I ask: if you are not in the US, where are you? also, why isn't Christmas your holiday? I'm sorry if I seem nosy......... :coollook:

I have lived overseas, and am Jewish. so that answers both questions.:)

If someone asked me to trade Christmas because I don't have kids, I would have said, "Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting a kid for Christmas." Then I would have walked away.

~Crystal

I only read some of the replies so forgive me if this has already been said, but why not look at the bright side. On holidays you get holiday pay which you can use to pay off some of those bills. Also, children are out of school for longer than just the 24th and the 25th so why not have Christmas on the 22nd or the 26th? Not only that, if you work midnights what are you missing?

You get off at 7 am, go home take a shower open presents eat a piece of ham and a roll and go to bed, or stay up and go to bed later.

People who work 7-3 will get off at three and can still join in festivities. Either wait to open presents when you get off or open them the night before. Folks working 3-11 will be at home all morning. the only problem I see is with 12 hours shifts. But in any case, you will not be at work for 24 hours, at some point you will be able to go home and at least be with you immediate family. Just think how bad the people feel who are in the hospital for all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day or whose families must visit loved ones inthe hospital.Count your blessings! :rolleyes:

EXACTLY....it is a shift. It will pass. 4,6,8,10, or 12 hours. It AIN'T 24. (feels like it at times, tho)

Specializes in NICU.
EXACTLY....it is a shift. It will pass. 4,6,8,10, or 12 hours. It AIN'T 24. (feels like it at times, tho)

YES!!!

Even with a 12 hour shift, there are still quite a few hours left in the day to at least have a nice meal with your family. Working Christmas Eve and Day night shifts? Have dinner with the family on Christmas Eve before work, then come home in the morning to have breakfast and open presents with the family. Let the kids play with their new toys, have the spouse clean up, and pop in those earplugs until it's time to wake up for the second night shift.

I know a lot of nurses who like to cook big dinners at their houses for the holidays. During Christmas time, many of them purposely schedule this dinner for the weekend before or after Christmas, so that all kinds of family and friends can drop by. Then, everyone is free to be with their own families (or free to work) on the actual holiday.

It's all about flexibility.

I hope my unit never changes how we schedule holidays. We can't just work on one year, off the next - too many nurses to do that. We shoot for 18 per shift, and have over 100 nurses! So we are given a specific number of holiday hours we have to do, and we write down our top preferences - for shifts we want to work, and shifts we hope to be off. Then the assistant manager writes it all down and we see where the distribution is if everyone gets their first choices. Sometimes it's pretty even, other times not. People will move themselves around if possible, or else the management will call us up and ask...if you work this one shift you didn't want to...and we give you ALL the other holidays off...would you make the sacrifice? At least we get a choice! Even if they did the "on one year, off the next" thing, we'd be switching ourselves anyways, so we are doing it this way for now.

Specializes in NICU.
Not only that, if you work midnights what are you missing?

If you're working back-to-back holidays, the answer is SLEEP! :rotfl:

Hence the suggestion to have the celebration on another day and just have a nice little dinner or breakfast with the immediate family before or after work.

Well I have no kids, but I want Christmas off so I can spend with my mum, daddy, brothers, sister-in-alw, neices, nephews and fiance.

Just 'cause I don't have kids doesn't mean I can't appreciate the Holidays.

Oh, and I want to drink egg nog!

Unfortunately, these parents are missing a great opportunity to teach their children about putting other people's needs in front of their own. My oldest daughter was disappointed about my holiday schedule this year, but I told her that my patients need me to care for them no matter what day of the year it is....and think of what joy and happiness I could bring to them on Christmas morning if I come into work with a cheerful and giving attitude instead of grouchy because I have to work. My kids (God willing) will have other Christmas days with me.....sometimes, for our patients, this is the last Christmas they will ever have. I want to give them one they will remember fondly.

:bowingpur :yelclap:

I usually work every Christmas, when I am in the US. It is not my holiday and I don't have kids, and I like to let someone be off and with their family. I am not required to do so, but always will volunteer, but if someone approached me with that attitude?? I would be at home watching movies with my kids, just on principle. And they can't read a calendar.

Where I grew up (outside the US) we did not celebrate Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July so it had no deep significance for me. I work every Thanksgiving and Fourth of July for New Year's Day and Christmas Day or Boxing Day.

Marie, this person woulda' gotten nothin' from me!

Specializes in M/S, OB, Ortho, ICU, Diabetes, QA/PI.
If someone asked me to trade Christmas because I don't have kids, I would have said, "Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm getting a kid for Christmas." Then I would have walked away.

~Crystal

that's hilarious!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: I can never think fast enough to come up with good stuff like that right on the spot - I'm always my wittiest approximately 2 days after the fact!!!!

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

Someone asked this woman today if she'd found anyone to work Christmas for her, and she replied "No, the last person i asked said no, of course" in a snide way. Looked up and she was looking at me with an evil eye. To which i said "To prevent further heartache, don't ask me to trade any more days with you, because i will say no from now on. Your smart allecked, thoughtless, selfish remark from yesterday is why i feel this way. I hope in the future you'll think before you speak again." She was a lot nicer after that, but it seemed pretty fake. :rolleyes:

Marie, just because you don't have kids doesn't mean those days aren't any less special for you. You have family that needs you now, that's important. I agree with you that she was way out of line.

Before she went into nursing, did she know that if she worked in the hospital that chances wouldn't be that great of her getting most Christmases off?

There's a certain set of parents who feel entitled to having certain days off, just because they have kids. Please understand, I'm NOT talking about ALL parents. There are many who handle work and kids just fine and don't ask for any special accomodations. But there are some who just use their kids for those days off.

We have a new grad (well, she's been there a year) and the whole staff is upset at her because of the holidays she's asked off for. Halloween, the whole Thanksgiving weekend (she's a bridesmaid in a wedding out of state), Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day, as well as the entire New Years Time (12/31-1/2). The other nurses have seen this, if she doesn't get the days that she wants off and if trading fails, she calls in sick. If she continues this, she won't be working too much longer...

Enjoy your time off, Marie. You deserve it as much as anyone else. I agree with you that she was well over the line with the "You don't have kids..." comment.

Someone asked this woman today if she'd found anyone to work Christmas for her, and she replied "No, the last person i asked said no, of course" in a snide way. Looked up and she was looking at me with an evil eye. To which i said "To prevent further heartache, don't ask me to trade any more days with you, because i will say no from now on. Your smart allecked, thoughtless, selfish remark from yesterday is why i feel this way. I hope in the future you'll think before you speak again." She was a lot nicer after that, but it seemed pretty fake. :rolleyes:

Good for you! Take the high road, it's always better. :) You showed a thousand times more class than she could ever have. Hopefully, she'll leave you alone from now on.

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