"Maybe you shouldn't be a nurse"

elprup, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

I was told also. But he added a big ole story which included, "he would not let me take care of his mother..I scared him..and once he had a preceptor who just couldn't get it right, even with an added month under his preceptorship". Needless to say, he made me feel soooo bad. It is one think to say he has "concerns" about me, but come on.

I agree, a student that is not trying needs a talking to. I am a 37 year old single mom, and I want my BSN. It is my ticket out of poverty and into careerhood. I have been in school for over 5 years, left a domestically violent husband and overcame a pain condition while raising two small children. I understand what I need to do and I am doing my best. After I calmed down from being upsest, I realized that my teacher had no idea what I was capable of. Heck he was never around during my clinicals anyway. My patients were always taken care of and my RN's said I did a great job! And I sure wrote a reply to his end of semester report on me. (It was very nice - but explicitly explained my stregnths and weaknesses). That made me feel better, knowing it would be in my permanent file.

Best of luck.

What I find most distressing though - what if I would have believed him and quit?

GadgetRN71, ASN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

Sadly, there are a few instructors that shouldn't be nurses! I think it is possible to have high standards for your students and not be abusive.Expecting students to tolerate it just turns out more nurses that are afraid to advocate for themselves when they are out in the real world.

Would love to hear a story of a student who responded to "you shouldn't be a nurse" with "YOU definitely shouldn't be a nursing instructor".I think I'd have to buy that person a beer!:biere:

When I was in school, no one wanted to be "the goat". Now, the goat could very well be a good student with great clinical skills. This happened to a friend of mine in her last semester-previous to this, she had always had wonderful evaluations and she was a strong student as well. Her instructor for clinical just rode her nonstop over nonsense things. Come to find out, this woman had a "goat" every semester. She especially disliked you if you were attractive and thin and single mothers were a huge target. We would all like to think that nursing instructors have integrity and represent the best of our profession, but sometimes, you will get one that exemplifies the worst of our profession.(ie cattiness, backstabbing and young eating!)

leslymill · Oct 13, 2007

I remember feeling degraded in nursing school because many of my fellow students where LPNs or had worked in hospitals before. They knew what D%5W, Lactated Ringers, Normal saline was when the instructor asked. she turned to me like "Why don't you know?" I said. I'm paying you to teach me that and that is why I don't know yet."

Nursing is a practice. You can't learn it without practice. The first semester is a little too soon to be weeding out folks. Especially with the shortages we have and the rigorious screening used to even get admitted into a program to begin with.

leslymill · Oct 13, 2007

https://allnurses.com/forums/f195/jama-nursing-shortage-article-254935.html

Despite projections that the ongoing shortage of nurses could grow to more than 1 million nurses by 2020, a bottleneck at US nursing schools caused more than 42 000 qualified applicants to be turned away in 2006-2007.

grammyr · Oct 13, 2007

I was told by an advisor before I ever started taking pre-reqs that maybe I should go another route. He was kind enough to tell me that nursing school was hard and that I may want to go to LPN school and then start RN. I told him that he may want to look at my ACT scores and that I didn't want to go any other route. He didn't come right out and say so, but he probably thought that with my advanced age (37) I wouldn't be able to do it. The only thing he managed to do was make me angry and more determined.

During our 3rd semester one of our instructors told all of us that we were the worst class she had seen in a long time. The only thing she accomplished with that statemtn was to inspire us to prove her wrong and we did. Only one person from that class didn't make it to graduate and we had 90% pass rate on the first try.

allthingsbright · Oct 13, 2007

oops, duplicate!

allthingsbright · Oct 13, 2007

I hate to say it, but get used to it :uhoh21: and welcome to nursing school. My school started weeding out students in the first sem too.There were a lot of people that we lost along the way, but if you keep in mind that NS is just something to be endured you will have the strength to hold on till the end.
Good luck!

:yeahthat: The best is yet to come!

CseMgr1, ASN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

Hey everyone. I'm finishing up my first semester of nursing school (finals next week :uhoh21:) and today we were doing skills pass off. Well, through the course of the day we had about three people leaving the skills lab sobbing, apparently after being told they were not going to be passed off on a particular area. We've also had a couple of instances throughout the semester when an instructor has told someone they "probably shouldn't be a nurse". This doesn't seem right to me. I understand that it is in the instructors' best interest to produce intelligent, competent nurses...but is it necessary to tell someone they aren't "cut out" for the job in their FIRST semester?
What do you think? I just wanted some opinions.

I think her comment is tacky and inappropriate.

Similarily, my son and DIL pulled my seven-year-old granddaughter out of the Charter School she was attending after only three weeks, for labeling her and several of her classmates as "Academic Snobs".

In my opinion, neither of these two individuals "probably shouldn't be teachers", either....:angryfire

GenXnurse · Oct 13, 2007

I don't think we should EVER get used to verbal abuse from instructors, collegues or anyone. There is simply a more appropriate way to handle this. If you have a problem with this instructor take it to her and discuss it. Yes- It is difficult as we nurses tend to be passive aggressive, but now is the time to learn to confront difficult situations. Try and see where she is coming from, and then air your concerns. If you can't resolve this in person, then use your University grievance policy to take it to the next step. There is always three sides to every story: Your side, my side, and somewhere in between- the truth.

I will agree, however, that your instructors feedback seems inappropriate.

Logos · Oct 13, 2007

An instructor who says that to someone is a ****** teacher. It's that simple.

rnmomtobe2010 · Oct 13, 2007

to me, that is abusive.
and there is not 1 acceptable excuse for such a comment.
i had an instructor who told me i shouldn't be a nurse.
the next day, i arranged to have a little talk w/her.
in that conversation, i reminder her of my rights as a paying student to obtain the best education possible;
reminded her that although i could handle her comment, others may be victimized by the self-fulfilling prophecy;
and if she ever made such a comment again, i wouldn't hesitate to file a grievance against her, and make her life extremely difficult.
i wasn't emotional, but told her the way it was.
she just stared at me, not saying a word.
i can't advise as to how one fights their battles.
all i can tell you, is that is unconscionable and irresponsible behavior.
hoping this works out for your friend...
leslie

You go girl. That is something I would have said but not as professional. Thank you and I hope I don't end up in that situation.

Jo Dirt · Oct 13, 2007

You know what I do when people criticize me? I listen to them. I don't get all puffed up and defensive and whine about being mistreated and abused. Whether we like it or not, there are things we simply are not cut out to do and we don't have the aptitude for. Everyone can't be #1 and no, it's not true that we can do anything we want to do if we put our minds to it and no, it isn't true that there is something out there we can do better than anyone else we just have to find what it is (what ding-dong came up with that idea?) Some people have what it takes and some don't and it isn't abusive to point this out when it is necessary.

We're turning into a society where everyone is given a fair chance but then we expect the "chance" to turn into a "right" to ensure we succeed even though succeeding means lowering standards and making amends.

Caring and the will to succeed is not always enough and the truth hurts. Pain is a part of life. The truth hurts and I've had to face a lot of truth in my life. We all should learn to accept truth more graciously, even when it stings.