My direct supervisor, at 35, is four years younger than I, has two children under age three and went from LPN school, worked as an LPN for seven years and then earned her BSN, got a supervisory position, has a happy marriage, a well-off lifestyle, and works extremely hard.
People knock her every way possible saying, "I'm not going to take direction from a one year RN who then went into management & thinks she knows more than I do...not to mention, she's going to leave her kids with family while she goes BACK TO SCHOOL in January to get her NP!"
My comment is always this,"Yes. She has far less experience than those of us with nearly twenty years bedside nursing, with Bachelors degrees in nursing, and with the life experience that she hasn't yet encountered. However, she's got SOME PRETTY TOUGH STUFF to get through a BSN @ one of the top non-private universities for nursing while pregnant, to do get first year of bedside RN nursing with an infant at home, to do her first year in management while pregnant with a SECOND baby AND WITH a 13 month old at home, having to learn to balance new motherhood, being a good manager, as well as telling nurses with far more experience than she obviously has how to do a difficult job and be taken seriously!"
Can you even imagine that kind of judgment and pressure? At her point in life, I was nowhere NEAR STEELY ENOUGH to write up a seasoned nurse for making an error which I hadn't yet made myself because I'd not been in the field long enough to get the CHANCE TO MAKE AN ERROR, REALLY! On top of it all, she's beautiful, thin, and people are flat out jealous of her!
I've gotten friendly with her because aside from my not currently being in management, (I have been in the past), we have a lot in common. I have always been judged as "stupid" because I have a certain look which others describe as "youthful", because I'm small; and unbelievably, (this one blows me AWAY with its pettiness!!) though my husband and I struggle for $$ as much as or more than the next person, so much so that we couldn't AFFORD WEDDING RINGS WHEN WE GOT MARRIED TEN YEARS AGO, thus my grandmother gave us her wedding set so I'd have something TRULY SPECIAL...thus, I wear a 3 karat wedding ring (it is a 130 year old family heirloom, and I wear it proudly, never hesitating to tell those who compliment me the story of it being given to my hubby to give to me, etc...and that we could never afford such a luxury, etc...), & my husband, wearing the band my grandfather left to him, which Pop wore while married to my grandmother for 62&1/2 years is equally proud to have been given such!)...so people THINK WE ARE WEALTHY because of one item of jewelry, that WE THINK WE ARE "better than them"!! Its so sad the petty jealousies people will judge others about...
Everyone (new coworkers and new patients) who've ever thought me "dumb" due to my appearance quickly change their tune when I open my mouth and, with compassion and knowledge, am able to explain exactly what is happening within their body, or their loved one's health, and they see that I'm much more than what shows on the outside.
I never tell my manager she's doing "too much", because it's working for her!! Plus, the amount she is doing inspired me, at age 40 in six days (!), when I was starting to feel "washed up", that it was time to get my butt in gear and earn MY NP ALONG WITH HER!!
As soon as my husband starts his new job, I'm applying to go back to school and get my Doctoral NP...WHY THE HECK NOT?? I love school, always got A's in every class throughout college and cannot wait to see what opportunities are out there to not only improve my life and that of my family, but to allow me to do a lot more to properly help my patients!
The next time you see someone being told they are doing "too much", stop and consider the SOURCE...AND, IF YOU AGREE, STOP AND WONDER IF PERHAPS YOU MIGHT BE DOING "too little", & don't want to be outshined!!