When adults whine....

Specialties Emergency

Published

[vent]...I swear to God, I cannot handle it when children whine, but grown adults? Does this drive anyone else crazy? :uhoh3:

I get that you're not feeling well, I get that you hurt, I get that you're scared, tired, hungry, etc. etc. etc., and I will do my darndest to get you feeling better! Warm blanket? No problem! Cup of ice chips? No problem (unless you're NPO!)! A little Zofran and Dilaudid? Here ya go!

But please, for the love of all that is holy, can you stop with the whining????

[/vent]

Specializes in ER.
I get you so completely. I know how it feels to desperately try to save the mangled child hit by a car :crying2:.....and to hear the heart wrenching screams that do not even sound human coming from the mother....just to have the next pt complain in that high pitched voice because they had to wait for some trival nonsense. So you vent, and maybe we can have a good laugh, share stories, then go back, and do it all over again! :hug:

Agreed. I get it. big hugs to you both. :redbeathe

Stargazer, I fast track the whiners for discharge. I quickly look over their chart and figure out what is the quickest way I can facilitate their departure. Possible admission? Review with MD what other things we need for admit or decision making. Possible or likely discharge? Confer with MD re same, pressure bag fluids if necessary or possible, retake vitals (fever gone? bp down?). Waiting for CT? Call CT department and see if they can fit pt in ASAP and will personally transport if necessary.

Its amazing how a few well placed questions CAN help (doesn't always work) facilitate getting rid of the whiners. The whiners feel it too, "I feel like you are trying to get rid of me." lol

In the end, I am always glad that I work in the ER where I can discharge them and always feel badly for med/surg, step down and ICU folks who have to live with these people for 12 hours. UGH.

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I get you so completely. I know how it feels to desperately try to save the mangled child hit by a car :crying2:.....and to hear the heart wrenching screams that do not even sound human coming from the mother....just to have the next pt complain in that high pitched voice because they had to wait for some trival nonsense. So you vent, and maybe we can have a good laugh, share stories, then go back, and do it all over again! :hug:

Exactly, or you take your mangled patient to the OR or ICU, come right back and check on your other patients to make sure nothing was overlooked while you were one on one with the critical patient, only to hear "I don't think this button works. I've been pressing it and pressing it and nothing has happened. Did you go on a coffee break or something? I need another pillow!". Makes you want to scream sometimes.

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I have cried with patients families, too, in certain heartbreaking situations. However, let me tell you, in regards to what Stargazer is saying, those whiney people make me sick. They have no clue. None. Those are the heartless people who truly can't look beyond their own world, even if someone else's is ending right in front of them.

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Specializes in icu/er.

often i find the whine babys care for only their needs at the sake of others.

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i really hope you are never the one in pain, the one who woke up paralyzed, the one who is scared, who has no clue what is going on.... the one who has never before been in the hospital, the one who medication does not seem to help... i hope you are never the one that wonders if they will ever feel normal again... the one who wonders if they will make it out of the hospital alive...

the one who has bills to pay, and faces losing their job because they are in the hospital. i hope you don't have children at home that you are worried about them making it to school on time, or them acting out because they, too, are scared because mommy or daddy is in the hospital...

i hope you never have to know what that kind of fear feels like, because i'm sure you will be whining.

anyone can give meds... anyone can get a warm blanket... it takes true patience and compassion for your patients to lend an ear for 5 minutes, talk to them, help them understand what is going on, allow them to vent... that is where the holistic side of nursing comes into play, not the "trained monkey" side.

just a pt whining caused you to come to a forum to whine, and it is not something that you have to bring home from work with you... now, try and put yourself in their position where they have real fears and reasons to "whine".

so- what kind of er do you work in? given your strong feelings about the original post, your er experience must be different from the op's. and mine. please expound.

in my experience, the truly needy you describe don't whine. they generally are appreciative. and, when somebody is overwhelmed by the stress of illness or injury, and their behavior suffers, most er nurses i know cut them a mile of slack.

by the way- thank you for so clearly explaining the difference between holisic nursing and "trained monkey" style of nursing. i had been struggling with that distinction for a while.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.
so- what kind of er do you work in? given your strong feelings about the original post, your er experience must be different from the op's. and mine. please expound.

in my experience, the truly needy you describe don't whine. they generally are appreciative. and, when somebody is overwhelmed by the stress of illness or injury, and their behavior suffers, most er nurses i know cut them a mile of slack.

by the way- thank you for so clearly explaining the difference between holisic nursing and "trained monkey" style of nursing. i had been struggling with that distinction for a while.

:yeah::yeah: and when the usually appreciative pts do get overwhelmed and it shows in their behavior, when the crisis or problem is handled, they are so grateful and apologize for their behavior, outburst, ect.

anne, rnc

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

There was a woman in our town who went to several business where I and family members/friends worked. After I described how awful, rude & obnoxious she was, 2 of my friends asked me to describe her - they said she was the one who came in and made everyone's day miserable. My niece knew her as well & she made her miserable too. These people have negative energy coming from their soul & usually aren't very mature I find.

Yes it does drive me nuts.I usually smile & nod, ignore them & use distraction techniques. Show them that they aren't getting to you!

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I really hope you are never the one in pain, the one who woke up paralyzed, the one who is scared, who has no clue what is going on.... the one who has never before been in the hospital, the one who medication does not seem to help... I hope you are never the one that wonders if they will ever feel normal again... the one who wonders if they will make it out of the hospital alive...

*snip*

I hope you never have to know what that kind of fear feels like, because I'm sure you will be whining.

I think there's a big difference between complaining and whining. I've taken care of patients who weren't exactly chipper, who weren't trying to be brave, who were vocal about their pain and fear and unhappiness with circumstances.....but with whining you add that high pitched tone and drawn out nasal vowels to your speaking voice and it is like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Not all sick patients whine, thankfully.

And I wonder how many folks in this thread who hate whining have personally experienced the pain and fear you describe, or lived through it vicariously with loved ones. I'm guessing we're not as unenlightened and inexperienced as you seem to assume.

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Specializes in Early Intervention, Nsg. Education.
I think there's a big difference between complaining and whining. I've taken care of patients who weren't exactly chipper, who weren't trying to be brave, who were vocal about their pain and fear and unhappiness with circumstances.....but with whining you add that high pitched tone and drawn out nasal vowels to your speaking voice and it is like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Not all sick patients whine, thankfully.

YES! Complaining/venting leads to processing and resolving (Not "solving," as in discovering a cure, but "resolving;" deciding where problem X lies in the scheme of things and whether it's worth tackling or not.)

In my work with a non-profit for a specific illness, I see all kinds. Some of the whiniest have actually "Become" their illness: their identity is the disease. They are victims of X disease. Victims. Everything from an eyelash in the eye to constipation to yellowed toenails is a clear sign that the disease is progressing...they could be dead by the weekend. Let the whining begin! Facebook thread "has anyone ever had X symptom?" Ten minutes later, there are already 40 replies from people who not only experience the symptom, but they have it even worse! I can't count how many times I've gotten an email to call Mrs. Z as soon as possible because she's in a crisis and needs immediate referrals to local resources. So, I postpone spending time with Hubby and kids to help poor Mrs. Z, who has called the hotline 8 times in 3 days. A few minutes into the emergency consultation, I realize that this is the same lady who I called and gave this exact information to last year, and the year before! Yes, Mrs. Z has hunkered down in this rut with HER disease for years, whining to anyone within earshot. The free gas card went unused because she "can't stand that brand of gas," the grants for home and vehicle modification, respite care, and equipment only contain the information I wrote in for them because it's too much paperwork, it takes too long, the program only provides silver walkers when she had her heart set on a red one, the free cell phone with 250 free minutes per month doesn't have a qwerty keyboard so texting takes too long Oh, the humanity! :banghead:

And yes, I have the disease as well. My daughter passed away from it and I was a hospice pt for several months. (Fortunately, I was booted into palliative care when I passed my "expiration date!) :)

.

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Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
I really hope you are never the one in pain, the one who woke up paralyzed, the one who is scared, who has no clue what is going on.... the one who has never before been in the hospital, the one who medication does not seem to help... I hope you are never the one that wonders if they will ever feel normal again... the one who wonders if they will make it out of the hospital alive...

Here's the interesting thing about that, though ...

I have never had one patient who was truly in a situation where they were "paralyzed" or otherwise had reason to fear for their life WHINE.

The whiners are, without fail, the nonemergent patients and their families. The 23-year old otherwise healthy male who not only cannot seem to cope with URI symptoms, but has to bring along mommy & daddy to be miserable with him. The 30-year old female who cannot cope with one day's worth of diarrhea, and has to bring hubby along to wring his hands over her and come out to the desk every 5 minutes to say, "I think she needs something." Or the family of the stable patient who is being admitted but is currently alert, eating a sandwich and watching TV ... who think that The Death Stare or the Excessive Use of Nurse's Name will magically make the admitted bed appear, as they watch us struggle with a code and a combative head bleed patient at the same time.

But if you want to attribute all whining to some existential crisis ... well, whatever works I guess.

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Specializes in Cardiac, ICU, ER.

I was listening to a whiney patient one day and accidently slammed my fingers in the door, she didn't even pause from her whining to ask if I was ok! I excused my self to go put ice on my hand. :uhoh21:

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.

We have a couple prize ones who think that if they whine loud, hard and long enough we'll cave in and give them what they want just so they'll shut up (and/or quit scaring my 3 year old pt.)

The proverbial squeaky wheel expecting to be greased...

REALLY not a fan of that kind of behavior!

cheers,

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