Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 6

by canoehead

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"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More


  1. 13
    "If we run to McDonalds, will we loose our place in line?"

    "I didn't have the cap screwed on the Fleets good, (darn) thing shot up in there like a rocket!"

    "I lost the cotton off this Q-tip, and couldn't find it anywhere,..." (Me reaching for the otoscope)..."actually your not going to need that, 'I' need a gown."

    -Assessing Hemorrhoids, and seen a string coming out! (On a Guy!!) Now I understand why Tampons say "Use as Directed."

    "Did you guys order a..." "Over hear!,.." Guy in waiting area to Pizza Guy.

    I'll never forget this New Nurse who came out of a known seekers room after an IV attempt.
    "You get it go'n?" (Me)
    "He took it from me, got the return, and slid the catheter in on his own before I could even react! It was just my second attempt!" (Nursling)
    "You must have told him he would get the med as soon as you got the IV in." (Me- Going to check site)
    "Yeah,..It looks good, he got it as soon as he grabbed it!" (Nursling)
    "Mr. Doe, can I see your..." (Me)
    "Yeah," slinging arm toward me, "you bring my shot?" (Mr. Doe)
    "Look, he even got the Heplock set on there! Are you a Nurse or EMT?"
    Asked the Nursling.
    "No baby, you just gotta' keep practicing" (Mr. Doe)
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Jan 8, '13
    all4neuro, shewentwhoa, maelstrom143, and 10 others like this.
  2. 0
    LOL!!!! And scary too.
  3. 4
    At a very rural hospital I worked in for a short time, often (especially after hours) the ambulance would radio ahead when they were bringing someone in.

    This hospital serviced a number of small communities including one on a nearby island.

    Radio goes off at 0300 and the driver says, "We are enroute from SMALL ISLAND TOWN with a 45 year old female ... With a toothache."

    This 0300 hospital trip required two separate ambulances (the island car and our car) as well as the police boat since the ferries don't run at 0300.

    The best part -- no abscess, no obvious source of pain. MD (they weren't in house, we had to call them in) refused to come in at that hour and had us hold her until morning (I agreed), but she didn't even wait to see him! She took off during shift change!!
    maelstrom143, Fiona59, uRNmyway, and 1 other like this.
  4. 2
    Quote from BCgradnurse
    One of my all time favorites was a man brought in around 8 AM with a head lac. He was intoxicated and got in a fight with another guy while attending a "Legs and Eggs" show. Legs and Eggs is a "breakfast" show at a nearby strip club. Who knew?
    Hahahaha. The foxy. Too funny I've since moved away but remember hearing the commercials on Bcn.

    "No day but today"
    maelstrom143 and Fiona59 like this.
  5. 2
    Tuesday in 'area B' a lady came in with a cut on her heel, after copping vocal abuse for 30mins she was told she would have to leave if she didn't lower her voice.
    maelstrom143 and Fiona59 like this.
  6. 3
    Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRN
    "If we run to McDonalds, will we loose our place in line?"

    "I didn't have the cap screwed on the Fleets good, (darn) thing shot up in there like a rocket!"

    "I lost the cotton off this Q-tip, and couldn't find it anywhere,..." (Me reaching for the otoscope)..."actually your not going to need that, 'I' need a gown."

    -Assessing Hemorrhoids, and seen a string coming out! (On a Guy!!) Now I understand why Tampons say "Use as Directed."

    "Did you guys order a..." "Over hear!,.." Guy in waiting area to Pizza Guy.

    I'll never forget this New Nurse who came out of a known seekers room after an IV attempt.
    "You get it go'n?" (Me)
    "He took it from me, got the return, and slid the catheter in on his own before I could even react! It was just my second attempt!" (Nursling)
    "You must have told him he would get the med as soon as you got the IV in." (Me- Going to check site)
    "Yeah,..It looks good, he got it as soon as he grabbed it!" (Nursling)
    "Mr. Doe, can I see your..." (Me)
    "Yeah," slinging arm toward me, "you bring my shot?" (Mr. Doe)
    "Look, he even got the Heplock set on there! Are you a Nurse or EMT?"
    Asked the Nursling.
    "No baby, you just gotta' keep practicing" (Mr. Doe)
    I have tough veins so it got to the point wherei would cannulate myself because it would take 3 nurses 4-6 try's and the RMO 4 goes yet after a coffee and warm blanket It took one go for me.
  7. 4
    Patient has a mole on her back she wants looked at, so she would know if she should bother making an appt with her own PCP.

    Heave triage nurse sigh.
    Last edit by canoehead on Jan 9, '13
  8. 3
    Quote from Esme12
    I need to know if I'm pregnant....there's this party tonight..... you can't call my parents right?
    I got a variation on this one. Pt wanted to know if she was pregnant because she was going to a party that night and the results would determine which guy would get lucky afterwards. It was a real emergency to her and her two giggling friends. LMP was 3 weeks ago.
    maelstrom143, Fiona59, and psu_213 like this.
  9. 8
    Quote from GadgitGurlRN
    I've got one. Pt CC, "I need crackers. If you don't give me crackers now I'll turn into a transvestite!" I can't make this stuff up.
    npo, and obtain video please.
  10. 3
    I have this same problem. A few years ago I had bronchitis and when I went to my PCP they had to do labs of course. I had a MA on externship, 2 nurses, and the MD all try and fail 4 times each to find a vein to draw blood. I eventually asked if I could try and succeeded in 1 go. The MD was very embarrassed and then offered me a job!
    JHU2016, DawnJ, and Fiona59 like this.


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