Great moments in bad judgement

rgroyer1RNBSN, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

My favorite starts out like this- See I was watering my garden and slipped and fell on-insert veg. here- ok so let me get this straight- you water your garden at 12 midnight, and you do it naked- yeah right what planet are these people living on.

That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Apr 25, 2012

Gun in waistband of pants + owner in seated position in car + safety off = -1 testicle.

As a CCW carrier that always freaked me out at first as none of my guns have a safety haha

PMFB-RN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

19 year old very intoxicated girl vomiting out the passenger window of a car moving 40mph. Smacked her head on a mail box. Made a great organ donor........

22 year old intoxicated male. His buddies bet him he couldn't jump a mini van over two other cars (think Dukes of Hazard) using a home made ramp constructed of 2x4s & plywood. Got mini van up to about 90 before plowing through ramp and crashing into parked cars he was attempting to jump = paralized for the rest of his life.

44 year old man drinks 12 pack of beer, smokes joint, grabs bow & arrow then climbs tree stand for bear season. Falls out of tree and manages to drive a razor tipped arrow through groin taking out one testical & chunk of member before exiting through his spine = paralized for life.

Young newly married couple discovered that chocolat, when placed in wife's body cavity, melts much faster than husbands ability to eat it. No harm done, just embarassment and a lady partsl irrigation.

Another young couple discover that when a peeled banna in placed into a womans body cavity it just sort of disinigrates. After a few days the parts still in that nice warm, moist enviroment begin to rot and smell REALLY bad. No harm done, just lady partsl irrigation, also I can no longer stand the smell of banna bread baking.................

Skylar86 · Apr 25, 2012

13y/o boy placed 30 little magnetic balls into his urethra. he was able to pee ("shoot") the first one out and thought that by putting in more he could make his member into a machine gun? Ended up having to tell his mum when he was only able to urinate drops of blood...

Dixielee, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

Or the guy who decided to make home made fireworks. He was sitting in the recliner with the bowl of gunpowder in his lap when he decided to smoke a cigarette! Boom! No need for a vasectomy :)

Or another one who was playing a game (yet to be named) where he and his cousin threw knives at each other to see who could come closest without actually hitting the other. I guess my guy won because he had a laceration thru the boot into his foot. When he couldn't get the bleeding stopped (maybe a wee bit of ETOH involved here), he did what every good survivalist would do....he poured gun powder in the wound. ( He had seen Rambo do it). Of course that hurt like crazy so he needed a cigarette to relax! The rest, they say is history :)

Moral of the story: Gunpowder and ETOH don' mix!

BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

I got tickled reading Wooh's quote "Ethics are annoying, I avoid them on principle." and forgot what I was going to say. Like that! @Wooh

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

Husband is showed his young wife how his new nail gun works by pressing the actuator against his finger. He thought it wasn't loaded. It was, driving a nail through his finger. Wife packs up 3 month old baby and drives hubby to the ED.

They get there, wife is asks what brings her to the ER that evening?:

"My husband is an idiot."

butterfliesandzebras · Apr 25, 2012

Left hand amputee in for non related issue, over the course of casual conversation:
Me: "Why did they amputate your hand sir?"
Patient: "I stuck my hand into a clogged meat grinder 15 years ago"
Me: "Ouch"

Ouch?? How bout, "sir, you are a dumbass"?

wooh, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

They get there, wife is asks what brings her to the ER that evening?:
"My husband is an idiot."

That's EXACTLY what I'd say! LOVE HER!!!

BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

My husband is a police officer, hence, a first responder for EMS in our city. New Years Eve a few years ago, drunken college-age male climbed a flagpole in a park. Slid down. On the side where the cleat is welded to hold the ropes for the flag. Weld held firm, scrotum--not so much....

**LibraSunCNM, BSN, MSN, CNM** · Apr 25, 2012

Had a 50-something year old male patient s/p carotid endarterectomy from Yugoslavia who spoke very little English. Usually very simple patients, they go home the day after surgery. The morning after surgery, he gestures that he wants to go in the bathroom. I was a new nurse, very busy with my other 3 stepdown patients, so I help him into the bathroom thinking he either has to have a BM or just wants to wash up a bit. He ambulates perfectly, I wasn't worried about him at all. He had a Foley, so he must know that he can't pee, right?

Wrong.

After noticing he'd been in the bathroom for about 5 minutes, I knock to see if he's ok and open the door to what looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, blood everywhere, and one very sheepish looking patient holding the Foley that he RIPPED OUT, balloon intact, saying, "I sorry, I sorry!" One GU consult and coude catheter placement later, his wife arrived and I had to explain why he would be going home much later that day, and with a catheter for several days. Then followed a loud string of what I assume was Yugoslavian expletives in what could only be described as the international wife-to-husband language of "You f***** idiot!!!"

chuckster, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Apr 25, 2012

Setting: The large detached garage of a rambling old house, rented to 3 men in their twenties. It is an early spring day, bright and clear, but chilly. There is an old wood stove is in the corner of the garage, filled with wood, pieces jammed in. Way too much wood to actually start a fire with. A none-too-bright workplace acquaintance of one of the roommates (who, after having passed out from drinking, spent the night on the living room couch) is standing about 3 feet away from the stove with a box of kitchen matches in his hand. One of the roommates walks into the garage from the opposite corner, perhaps 25 feet from where the stove is. The following dialog occurs.

Roommate: “Daryl, what’s that smell?”

Daryl: “What smell?"

Roommate, noticing the can of starting fluid (ether) on the floor of the garage: “DON’T LIGHT THAT MATCH!!!!”

Daryl, slowly drawing the match across the box: “It’s cold - just tryin’ to get this stove goin’”

The match ignites and Daryl tosses it toward the stove. The roommate is now trying desperately to put as much distance between himself and the stove as possible. The lit match arcs toward the stove and its load of ether-saturated wood. The roommate barely gets to the door and almost out of the garage when the “WHOOSH” of combustion is heard. This is followed by the sound of several large pieces of cast iron impaling themselves into the walls and ceiling, accompanied by the tinkling of broken glass as the garage window disappears. The roommate pauses a few seconds before re-entering the garage.

Daryl’s face has a funny expression, kind of a “whiskey, tango, foxtrot” look, made all the more comic by the soot and the fact that his shoulder length hair has largely disappeared. His clothes are smoldering in several places, but there does not seem to be any blood. The roommate grabs a handful of rags, tamps out the smoldering clothing and asks Daryl if he’s OK. Luckily, except for the hair, he mostly is. The garage on the other hand, is not.

As Ron White says: “You can’t fix stupid.”