Great moments in bad judgement - page 3

Reaching under commercial lawn-mower to remove stick. Mower running. Started with 10, ended with 6.... Read More

  1. 26
    my first husband had an iq of 160-something but the common sense of a gnat. camping in a lovely campground at the side of a river. greg wanted to demonstrate his great grilling skills, but didn't think the coals were getting ready quickly enough. he decided in his infinite wisdom to help things along by throwing a bit of gasoline on the fire. i looked up when i heard the "whoosh" and saw that his jacket was on fire. i tackled him and pushed him into the lovely river. then i noticed that he was thrashing about in the three foot deep water, screaming "help! i can't swim!" so i had to pull him out. and after all that, he was mad at me for ruining his new jacket.

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  2. 17
    Gun in waistband of pants + owner in seated position in car + safety off = -1 testicle.
  3. 14
    All of my good stories come from the ED!! Foreign bodies I have seen.....three golfballs (same guy, wife snuck them in there), 2 pears (same guy, slipped while mopping floor in the nude, fell onto fruit bowl), large can of scrubbing bubbles, several glass Coke bottles, glass thermometer (anyone remember those?), the headless Barbie, and then of course the usually battery operated devices.

    I just got home and the one tonight is fresh on my mind Guy kissed his pet Anaconda, and the snake did not return his affections! Several hours and two plastic surgeons later, he had his lips sewn back on! He couldn't understand how the snake could have bitten him..."But it was a rescue snake". They walk among us
  4. 13
    I heard this as a story from many years back.

    During a cold winter night, the pipes under the sink busted, and the husband jumped out of bed nude, threw on his robe, and ran downstairs.

    He ended up in the ER with a Head Lac needing sutured, and broken leg.

    He got bent over to get up under the sink to turn the water off, and then, . . .the house-cat "paw slapped" him in the testicles, and his head hit the metal pipe. He got the broken leg because when he was explaining the head injury, the EMT's dropped him in uncontrollable laughter in c-spine on the Stretcher board.

    Could be a Rural Legend, but it's passed as real here.
    Last edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Apr 24, '12 : Reason: Needed Some Censorship, Covered a Fomite
  5. 7
    My favorite starts out like this- See I was watering my garden and slipped and fell on-insert veg. here- ok so let me get this straight- you water your garden at 12 midnight, and you do it naked- yeah right what planet are these people living on.
  6. 4
    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    Gun in waistband of pants + owner in seated position in car + safety off = -1 testicle.
    As a CCW carrier that always freaked me out at first as none of my guns have a safety haha
    pseudomonas, Altra, BCgradnurse, and 1 other like this.
  7. 13
    19 year old very intoxicated girl vomiting out the passenger window of a car moving 40mph. Smacked her head on a mail box. Made a great organ donor........

    22 year old intoxicated male. His buddies bet him he couldn't jump a mini van over two other cars (think Dukes of Hazard) using a home made ramp constructed of 2x4s & plywood. Got mini van up to about 90 before plowing through ramp and crashing into parked cars he was attempting to jump = paralized for the rest of his life.

    44 year old man drinks 12 pack of beer, smokes joint, grabs bow & arrow then climbs tree stand for bear season. Falls out of tree and manages to drive a razor tipped arrow through groin taking out one testical & chunk of penis before exiting through his spine = paralized for life.

    Young newly married couple discovered that chocolat, when placed in wife's body cavity, melts much faster than husbands ability to eat it. No harm done, just embarassment and a vaginal irrigation.

    Another young couple discover that when a peeled banna in placed into a womans body cavity it just sort of disinigrates. After a few days the parts still in that nice warm, moist enviroment begin to rot and smell REALLY bad. No harm done, just vaginal irrigation, also I can no longer stand the smell of banna bread baking.................
  8. 13
    13y/o boy placed 30 little magnetic balls into his urethra. he was able to pee ("shoot") the first one out and thought that by putting in more he could make his penis into a machine gun? Ended up having to tell his mum when he was only able to urinate drops of blood...
  9. 10
    Or the guy who decided to make home made fireworks. He was sitting in the recliner with the bowl of gunpowder in his lap when he decided to smoke a cigarette! Boom! No need for a vasectomy

    Or another one who was playing a game (yet to be named) where he and his cousin threw knives at each other to see who could come closest without actually hitting the other. I guess my guy won because he had a laceration thru the boot into his foot. When he couldn't get the bleeding stopped (maybe a wee bit of ETOH involved here), he did what every good survivalist would do....he poured gun powder in the wound. ( He had seen Rambo do it). Of course that hurt like crazy so he needed a cigarette to relax! The rest, they say is history

    Moral of the story: Gunpowder and ETOH don' mix!
  10. 5
    I got tickled reading Wooh's quote "Ethics are annoying, I avoid them on principle." and forgot what I was going to say. Like that! @Wooh

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