Best ER Nurse quotes

  1. 2
    To the loudly snoring ETOHer found in an Auto Repair Shop: "Maybe she needs her air filter changed."

    To the drug seeker throwing out his best pseudo-seizure: "Sir, that's not a seizure. Stop shaking." Response by pt: Immediately sits straight up and says, "I'm fine... sometimes that happens."

    From security guard to combative ETOHer being introduced to his very first Foley: "Just relax and enjoy it!"

    Triage nurse note: "Pt presents with L wrist pain, fell while off-road unicycling."

    Charge nurse to triage nurse: "I think that 'penis suture removal' needs to be upgraded to a level 1."


    I think this could turn into a good thread. :wink2:
    AngelfireRN and squeakykitty like this.
  2. 64,018 Visits
    Find Similar Topics
  3. 64 Comments so far...

  4. 0
    I love it.. expecially Charge nurse to triage nurse: "I think that 'penis suture removal' needs to be upgraded to a level 1."

    too funny
  5. 2
    "Never put anything is your butt that you cannot get out later"
    vhern246 and CrazyScrubNurse like this.
  6. 0
    There is a reason they say "Don't try this at home".
    Never try anything you wouldn't want to explain to an ER nurse.

    I love this thread.
  7. 1
    One of my coworkers always liked to say, "You can't cure [or fix] stupid." (I actually had a chainsaw-vs.-thigh patient jokingly say something to me like, "My stupidity keeps you employed/pays your mortgage." LOL)
    squeakykitty likes this.
  8. 2
    Trauma Junkie: "it's not that i WANT you to get hurt... it's just that i want to be there when you do"
    crackheads = job security
    i'm here to save your as*, not kiss it!
    you know you're a nurse when you avoid sick looking people at the grocery store for fear you'll have to do CPR on your day off
    flowerjack31672 and squeakykitty like this.
  9. 2
    Cut a wedding ring off a penis once...pt stated, "I just wanted to see if I could get it in there." Wife was bright red in the corner...:-)

    Sent a male patient with a 14" "toy" up his rectum to surgery, even put the handle up there...yikers (not really a quote but funny)
    Chapis and squeakykitty like this.
  10. 1
    Quote from Larry77
    Cut a wedding ring off a penis once...pt stated, "I just wanted to see if I could get it in there." Wife was bright red in the corner...:-)

    Sent a male patient with a 14" "toy" up his rectum to surgery, even put the handle up there...yikers (not really a quote but funny)
    As far as the wedding ring is concerned, he either has a big finger or a little penis. I've heard of people doing this before.
    Chapis likes this.
  11. 5
    great thread!

    i'm an icu nurse -- i heard this one on my last trip to er as a patient: from triage nurse to the mother of twenty-something year old male having a tantrum in the er waiting room, "he wants to go home if we don't take him back immediately? drive carefully!"
    Joe B1, murphyle, squeakykitty, and 2 others like this.
  12. 2
    I once heard one of my co-workers, with a straight face, tell a frequent flyer, drug seeking patient in triage........"Pain is natures way of telling us to slow down." followed by about 30 seconds of dead air.....
    Joe B1 and squeakykitty like this.


Top