Dealing with nosey nurses - page 2

I recently signed in as an agency nurse in a hospital after a year hiatus.....to do other things outside from hospital nursing and why is it that after x5 mins of meeting the incoming nurses.or any... Read More

  1. Visit  Galaxy1 profile page
    1
    oh yeah, just annoying nurses. and if anything goes wrong they will hang you by your reproductive organs.
    Aviationurse likes this.
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  3. Visit  royhanosn profile page
    1
    nosey neighbours wanting personal details of your love life...some people are like that! office politics! otherwise,,IGNORE them! They are nosey because they are insecure.
    Aviationurse likes this.
  4. Visit  Meriwhen profile page
    2
    To be honest, I've gotten the same types of questions from coworkers at my regular (non-agency) job

    IMO, divulge only what you feel comfortable sharing and be pleasantly vague about the rest. No one is forcing you to share anything.
    Vespertinas and Not_A_Hat_Person like this.
  5. Visit  whoa-now profile page
    0
    I will be starting my first agency job very soon so it's been good to read your comments and tips. THANKS!
  6. Visit  photomom profile page
    4
    Go with how you feel about the situation, but honestly it's not always about being nosey. Before I started working with an agency, talking with agency nurses was honestly the best way to do my research. What's a good agency? Do you get cancelled? Do you go to good facilities? If it's travel, how are the accomodations? I wasn't trying to be nosey, I was honestly interested. And as far as asking about insurance, I did that, too!! Not because I wanted to pry into their personal life, but because I have a family to care for, too, and it makes a difference. I was looking for a way out of my last FT position because I was burned out. I *wanted* agency nurses to give me the inside scoop on what it's like - would I regret it if it I did it? What do I need to watch out for? It's really like the new grads looking to get into their first job - we dont' say "those nosey students, they should mind their own business!"

    Also, my old unit was very close-knit and so it was almost instictive to ask about the new nurse coming to work with us. Do you have kids? if so, and they're little like mine, than I can relate to you! Where are you from? Where are you living? I would have been more than happy to answer these questions to an agency nurse if we're chatting while we work to get to know who I'm working with - especially if we're going to work together a lot! I need to know if I can trust you in my unit.

    On the other hand, there ARE some nurses who may ask for other reasons. And there may be agency nurses (and you may be one of them) who LIKES to be agency because you don't like to chat with coworkers and get to know them. That's okay, too, but just respond that you prefer not to discuss your personal life and maybe change the subject to something work related - like "could you show me how your XX works? I'm not familiar with it" or "what is your policy/procedure in XX scenario?" Or if you're not up to talking at all, maybe ask if they can help you turn a patient or give a bath or whatever. Or just tell them to buzz off and then go do your work, but that doesn't often build very good trust/rapport with the FT staff.

    Anyway, just a few thoughts from someone who's been on the other side of this situation...
    Seekern, TiredRN56, DixieBelle7, and 1 other like this.
  7. Visit  Mulan profile page
    1
    [QUOTE=photomom;6828483

    Also, my old unit was very close-knit and so it was almost instictive to ask about the new nurse coming to work with us. Do you have kids? if so, and they're little like mine, than I can relate to you! Where are you from? Where are you living? I would have been more than happy to answer these questions to an agency nurse if we're chatting while we work to get to know who I'm working with - especially if we're going to work together a lot! I need to know if I can trust you in my unit.

    ...[/QUOTE]

    You feel like you have to know about someone's personal life in order to know if you can trust them in your unit?

    I don't quite get that.
    Hoozdo likes this.
  8. Visit  photomom profile page
    3
    No, not necessarily, but it doesn't hurt to be friendly. On the flip side, I've heard from several agency nurses that they always just feel like they're there alone and that the FT nurses are too clicky and exclude them from everything. If you want to be alone and not share anything, that's fine, make it known, just don't expect to be included in a group that knows each other well. But also know that you're not the only type of agency nurse there is and that you're not always asked because they're nosey, maybe they're just friendly.

    Is this the general feeling of most agency nurses? That they don't want to share anything personal or talk about anything non-nursing related???
  9. Visit  SanDiegoCaliRN profile page
    5
    I don't think other nurses who ask questions about your agency work are being nosy, I think they're just curious or trying to gather information to see if it's a viable career move for them.

    I know I'm curious about the in's and out's of travel nursing because it's something I *think* I want to try in the future (but I have more questions before I'd make such a drastic career move).

    I do know just about every nurse at the hospital asks me very specific Q's about my other home health agency job and I never feel threatened or defensive. I answer their questions as openly and honestly as I can without sarcasm or suspicion of their intent. It's human nature to size up our situation and to see if a move might be in order.

    C'mon, chill out peeps. We're nurses and we're supposed to be helpful to others - not inflict harm or create unnecessary hostility.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  10. Visit  Ruby Vee profile page
    4
    Quote from RN Zeke
    And to think these are educated adults looking for a reason to pounce on another nurse in some manner. Remids me of a crazy movie with various plots.
    I don't think that at all. I think they're just trying to make conversation and get to know the new nurse.
    joanna73, DixieBelle7, psu_213, and 1 other like this.
  11. Visit  Ruby Vee profile page
    5
    Quote from RN Zeke
    What would the staff nurse response be to us if we asked them awkard questions. Where do you live, what do you make an hour, what are your benefits, are you married, have a signifant other and of what sex, children how many, who takes care of them while you run around the country or go from job to job, got any insurance, what kind of a vehicle do you drive, own or rent and the BS just goes on. Usually while I am trying to have MY LUNCH BREAK. My response is will you write all those questions down?? I am trying to have my lunch break that I am not getting paid for!!! Glad you want to be friends. Do you want to meet or take me to dinner after work and then we can talk???
    Nursing relies on teamwork to get the job done, and teamwork makes it far more pleasant. If you don't want to talk to other nurses on your break, they will see you as not wanting to be a part of the team. Next, you'll be complaining that all the nurses you work with are mean to you. If you come across as this rude on-line, you're probably coming across as rude at work, too.
    joanna73, DixieBelle7, psu_213, and 2 others like this.
  12. Visit  Kooky Korky profile page
    0
    The owners of your agency make money from your labor, it is true. In exchange, they find jobs for you.

    You can open your own agency. No one is stopping you. Then other nurses will make money for you while you are sleeping or making love.
    Last edit by Kooky Korky on Aug 24, '12
  13. Visit  Kooky Korky profile page
    2
    If you don't want to answer their questions, just say, nicely, that you are reluctant to share your personal information in general. Say that you've learned that it is best not to talk too much about it and be apologetic and assure the questioner that it is not personal against them.

    Or make up some untruthful answers. Just be sure you can remember them and use them consistently.

    And if you don't want to talk with your coworkers, eat someplace alone. Otherwise, you will be deemed rude and unfriendly.

    Good luck.
    DixieBelle7 and Not_A_Hat_Person like this.
  14. Visit  samadams8 profile page
    3
    Be careful. It's a balance between being cordial and positive versus giving too much information. By that I mean, sadly, some people want to get information to use against you in some way. NOT all nurses, of course, are like this. Some are just curious and have their own reasons for wanting to know things. If you are perceived as somehow unapproachable or defensive, it will work against you. If you are too nice and share too much, b/c you are an open person, it can work against you too. Some people are very insecure and for some reason see others as competition or whatever. It's not right, and I think it is part of the horizontal/vertical abuse or bullying that happens WAY too often in nursing. But it's hard, b/c not everyone is like this, and you can be seen as a non-team entitity if you don't walk the tightrope (balance).

    Remember, perception often is what people make as the reality about you, and not necessarily the true reality. But once they think they have sized their perception up about you--and then share it with enough "others" in the particular unit culture, you can be marked as such--and that can jump up to bite you in the butt. It doesn't matter if it is true of not. Remember that it is the perception they formulate and spread about you, and not the reality that can stand. So many others listen to certain folks, and once these key members formulate something about you, the other nurses or people, rather than being balanced and fair themselves, will go along with the dominate "influencers" in the group. It's a hard reality to deal with--especially if you are a person with your own sense of who you are, and all you want to do is to come into work, do the best job you can, and then go home to live the rest of your life. I grew up with mostly males, so I have often found it tough to deal with certain antics that seem particularly of a catty, female nature. I like the whole, "I'm OK. You're OK" thing. I have been sad to see the level of insecurity that I have in the work place. Seems like almost everywhere you go, someone is afraid someone else will somehow do better than they feel they are doing. It's weird and stressful to me. I think people should just worry about themselves, do the best they can, and try to be supportive of others. Nurses, of all groups of professionals really should be a much more supportive group for each other. I have worked in areas where this was the case, and I loved working with those within the group. People were there for each other and the patients, and they looked out for each other, rather than seeking someone or certain folks out and causing undue drama and grief. Nurses, regardless of the economy, need to stand up and support each other--and strive for balance and fairness. But that is the ideal, and sadly, the ideal is often enough not the case. Makes me so sad.

    Just try not be defensive, b/c there is also a good chance some folks are just trying to get to know you. I think the expression is, "Be wise as a fox, but gentle as a lamb." Something like that.

    The Best to you!


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