Your Call Light is On Can I help YOU?

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he he! i got this idea for a thread starter from a previous post. what was one or more of the funniest or weirdest requests you have gotten when a call light was put on?

here is one to start:

can you change my tampon? (from a perfectly capeable 30 something to a really embarassed male nurse)

Specializes in Med/Surg.

"Can I help you"?

No, just wanted to make sure this thing works. (at least 10 times in 30 minutes)

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

Last night, I put a Foley in a patient at the start of shift. I explained to her what I was doing, the nurse explained to her what I was doing, and so did the other PCT.

All night long, she was on her bell saying she had to pee. I kept explaining she had a cath in, even going so far as holding up the bag to show her.

Her response was "That's not my pee. Someone came in here and dropped that off."

Um..... okay.....

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Her response was "That's not my pee. Someone came in here and dropped that off."

You mean no one warned you about the magic pee elves who drop specs off during the night?

I don't know how many elderly pts I've had who "have to pee" the entire time a cath is in, despite every effort to educate them. Must be a really weird sensation when you can't understand what's going on.

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....and the infamous

Can you hand me my tissues?

Always from a 50-75 year old woman. Who has apparently lost all function of her hands while hospitalized.

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Specializes in Peds (previous psyc/SA briefly).

"Can you find me some fried chicken?"

(Um, yes. Go down four floors, out the door that says main enterance, get in the car and drive to KFC. And bring me back some fries.)

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

We have one sweet LOL at work that rings every night after you have put her to bed to ask if the cat was let in. We reassure her that the cat is curled up sleeping and she goes to sleep. If some wiseguy decides to orient her and explain that there is no cat here she is up all night.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Always from a 50-75 year old woman. Who has apparently lost all function of her hands while hospitalized.

Another case of SAS (short-arm syndrome)

Usually when someone tells me she/he hit the call button accidentally I tell the patient, "That's okay, but we charge you $20 every time you do that, and you're insurance won't cover it."

Before you get your hackles up, I have yet to come across a patient who thought I was serious

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

this is a little different, but i hate it when the answer is "can you send my nurse in?" and the person answering says something similar to "what can she/he help you with?" answer: "i just need to see my nurse!" then the nurse runs in, and what's wrong? "i need some tissues/water/my tv on, etc."

ugh! :grn:

jess

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I'm quoting the patient now:

"Hey nurse, git in here and lift my balls up!!! I need to scratch!!"

I promptly responded, "YES SIR, I have the time!"

:p

What is up with these guys anyway. I would think that if he's capable of scratching, he's capable of lifting. Unless he meant for the nurse to do the scratching.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
what is up with these guys anyway. i would think that if he's capable of scratching, he's capable of lifting. unless he meant for the nurse to do the scratching.

wish i had a nickel for every guy who wanted me to scratch his balls!

how about "i need my nurse."

"what do you need help with, sir?"

"i need someone to hold my willy while i whiz!"

or: (from a man on a clinatron sand bed "what time does this flight land?"

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Specializes in Peds, PICU, Home health, Dialysis.

Nearly 4 years ago my grandmother was dying of cancer at the Cleveland Clinic and due to her chemo agents and her loss of muscle mass, she eliminated in her bed and the techs would clean her up. Well, one afternoon she looked at me and said "uh-oh.. I don't think that was gas I just let out" and she picked up her call light and when the tech answered, my grandmother replied "Clean up on aisle 5!". Haha.. it was quite funny.. thankfully she had a humor while she was dying.

My nurse and I had a patient's mother (I work on a ped's floor) who would push the call light and insist we go down to the cafeteria and get her food. I explained to her numerous times that we do not provide the parents food and that the cafeteria was closed -- it was like 3:30 a.m.! She even called the operator and asked for food.

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Specializes in Cardiac Care.
Us: "May I help you?"

Pt: "GERONIMO!!!!"

Go to pt room to find she had yanked her foley out

(with the bulb intact- ouch!)

Ouch, indeed!

Makes me hurt just thinking about it!

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