You have a what on your where?

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:jester: I once had a patient that complained that she had a "risin'" on her buttocks, keep in mind that I was away down south in Dixie. I had no clue what she was complaining of and certainly did not know what I was looking for or going to find on her buttocks..turned out to be a abscess,small boil.

The other day I received a patient from ER to ICU being admitted for primary diagnosis of constipation...on a ventilator (I could not find one care paln where ventilator is even mentioned as a treatment for constipation.)

I was just wondering what some of the funny patient complaints or treatments you all may have had in your experience.

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Specializes in MICU.

I was still a secretary @ the time, but... this pt was admitted to the stepdown unit and I was processing her paperwork. The ED stuff started with a c/o "ear pain" and ended like 2 pages later with her involuntary committment to the hospital order! It was like, "c/o ear pain, gave some meds, started IV.... called legal to committ pt."

:confused: Now, I never got the whole story (maybe she brandished a knife or something), but upon further review of her paperwork by the the primary nurse, the only thing we could find was that she refused tx for her ear pain (she was homeless or something).

Anyway, it seemed quite the jump. Never forget that one!

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Specializes in Corrections, neurology, dialysis.

I used to work at Planned Parenthood and would educate patients on how to use their chosen birth control method. You can never take it for granted that people understand anything. I was amazed at the level of ignorance people have about their own bodies, the mechanics of sexual intercourse and the process of procreation.

I had a woman requesting birth control pills because "my husband refuses to use condiments."

I asked another woman what she currently used for birth control she said "I used to use a diagram but I want to try something else now."

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Specializes in Case Management.

I had a patient with amaurosis fugax. apparently a serious side effect from a TIA but the treatment is very benign.

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I had a patient with amaurosis fugax. apparently a serious side effect from a TIA but the treatment is very benign.

OK I give what is amaurosis fugax?

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Specializes in Family.
OK I give what is amaurosis fugax?

I found this: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000784.htm

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Specializes in Cath Lab, OR, CPHN/SN, ER.

hehehe...I was trying to type in a diagnosis the other night when I was getting ready to take a patient to the floor.

I couldn't find their simple, common diagnosis in there, but I did find "Found Dead on Railroad Tracks" listed.

:)

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We used to joke with new nurses and give them the information on a fake new admit. Our favorite diagnosis was "penile erectus circumspectus"...Totally made up, but it was funny seeing the nurses expressions when we handed them the admit...especially the guys!

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

I'll never forget the patient who was admitted to our floor with a, uhhh... TOY stuck up in his nether regions. :jester: What was really kinda funny was that the nurse who admitted him and had to ask him all of his questions and all that.. she is a 50-something year old nurse who has always been a church goer, has always been single, and I kid you not, this woman is as PURE as the driven snow!

If I would have known what was wrong with him at the time, I might have volunteered to do the admit for her.

Then there was the patient who had the fecal impaction. She had been eating sunflower seeds UNSHUCKED.. I mean, eating the shells and everything.. for months to a year. The surgeon manually removed a large mass of poop and sunflower seed shells!!!

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Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.
:jester: I once had a patient that complained that she had a "risin'" on her buttocks

Now I thought everyone knew what a risin was! :lol2:

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I used to hear the word 'rising' all the time, growing up here in SW Mo.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.
hehehe...I was trying to type in a diagnosis the other night when I was getting ready to take a patient to the floor.

I couldn't find their simple, common diagnosis in there, but I did find "Found Dead on Railroad Tracks" listed.

:)

And I'll bet that's somehow a chargeable Dx, too, right?

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