I once had a patient that complained that she had a "risin'" on her buttocks, keep in mind that I was away down south in Dixie. I had no clue what she was complaining of and certainly did not know what I was looking for or going to find on her buttocks..turned out to be a abscess,small boil.
The other day I received a patient from ER to ICU being admitted for primary diagnosis of constipation...on a ventilator (I could not find one care paln where ventilator is even mentioned as a treatment for constipation.)
I was just wondering what some of the funny patient complaints or treatments you all may have had in your experience.
Not so much a what on your where, but had a patient in a nursing home I worked at many, many years ago as a new grad ask me for a "physic". (sp?) I said, "A what?" I had no idea what she was talking about. Found out from another nurse she wanted a laxative.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i had a patient admitted from home for "decubitus ulcer."
that guy had a gigantic decub on his a$$, the exact size and shape of a toilet seat, and once debrided, was about two inches deep. he'd been sitting on the toilet for 4 days and 4 nights. lookin' for god.
in ireland we used to ask student nurses on their first ward to go to the lab for a fallopian tube!! nasty but funny alice
i love it. i bet they went for it.
one night we had a paramedic that was working as a pct in icu. he was a big guy over 6 feet tall and at least 300 lbs. i had a patient with a high blood pressure and had just started a new iv of nipride to bring it down. well with his blood pressure so high his heart rate was low in the 50's. this big guy decieded that my patient had a carotid bruit and took atethoscope to go check it out...i don't now what happened but the next minute the paramedic is flying through the air out from the curtain with bedside table,
iv tubing and pump going everywhere...the big clutz got his big feet tangled up in the iv tubing and tripped himself up..the patient didn't think it was too funny when i had to restart his iv.
the next night we told this paramedic that we needed to obtain a stool specimen from this particular patient. he said that the patient did not have a bm yet so we said he would have to suction it out of the patient. we had him get garbed up in sterile gown with face mask , yanker suction, he settled for regular gloves when he couldn't find the elbow length gloves (do those even exist) and ky jelly. when he was already to go with yanker in one hand and specimen cup in the other we opened up the ky jelly and smeared it all over his face mask. we all had a good laugh even him.
the rest of the night we had him put vital signs in the computor but forgot to tell him to push the enter button.
I'll never forget the patient who was admitted to our floor with a, uhhh... TOY stuck up in his nether regions. What was really kinda funny was that the nurse who admitted him and had to ask him all of his questions and all that.. she is a 50-something year old nurse who has always been a church goer, has always been single, and I kid you not, this woman is as PURE as the driven snow!
If I would have known what was wrong with him at the time, I might have volunteered to do the admit for her."
I gotta believe if she has been a NURSE for at least part of this time taht there's NOTHING she hasn't seen...
I am a pre-nursing student and now that you nurses have spilled the beans of some of the ticks of the trade. I am going to be on the look out. Very funny, I think I would have caught the one about going to get fallopian tubes. LOL!
As far as the paramedic who got tangled up in the IV, funny but, I don't think I would of played anymore tricks on him. The fact that he fell and was tangled had to be so... embarrassing.
I am a pre-nursing student and now that you nurses have spilled the beans of some of the ticks of the trade. I am going to be on the look out.
Yes me too, well, 2nd semester clinical student! You waskily lil wabbits! I'm an extern this summer in the CCU, am I going to get tortured the same way?
As for the poor paramedic guy.. I am still ROFL over dressing him up in stool suction garb.
However, when I was pregnant with twins, I got SUPER constipated, and they had a nurse do the finger jiggle. She got dressed up almost as much. Sheesh.. I thought my poop smelled like roses.
I once had a patient that complained that she had a "risin'" on her buttocks, keep in mind that I was away down south in Dixie. I had no clue what she was complaining of and certainly did not know what I was looking for or going to find on her buttocks..turned out to be a abscess,small boil.
She got dressed up almost as much. Sheesh.. I thought my poop smelled like roses. 
DidiRN
3 Articles; 781 Posts
Not so much a what on your where, but had a patient in a nursing home I worked at many, many years ago as a new grad ask me for a "physic". (sp?) I said, "A what?" I had no idea what she was talking about. Found out from another nurse she wanted a laxative.