You look too young to be a nurse

Nurses Relations

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Is something I hear from my patients constantly. I'm petite with I guess a lot of people consider a "baby face". I am told a lot that I look like I'm in my teens. Thanks? It used to not bother me, but now I think it's rude even if it is meant as a compliment. Why do you think it's okay to ask me how old I am or comment on the way I look? What if you walked up to a bank teller or a mechanic and demanded to know how old they were? It also stresses me out because I feel like I have to work that much harder to earn the patient's trust once they say that.

What I'm asking is, what would a good/appropriate response be when a patient asks my age/comments on the way I look?

Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc.

True story.... I work with anothe NP that is old enough to be my mother (her daughter and I are the same age).

Was speaking on the phone with one of our regluar, medically complex, patient's mother. Had several phone conversations over the several months discussing and managing her care, Mom never had an issue with me.

She came in for f/u appt.

I walk in the room and introduce myself, "Hi I am RNsrgr8t, the NP that is working with Dr. F today. I have spoken with you a lot over the phone. Glad to finally meet you in person".

Patient's mom (looking at me squinting), "Hi....tell me what you are again?"

Me "I am an NP, just like S (the other NP I work with)"

Patient's mom, "jeez, are you just out of school?"

Me, "No Ma'am, I have been an NP for 2+ years (this was many years ago)"

Patient's mom, "people must be going to grad school right out of nursing school these days"

Me, "No Ma'am, I was a nurse for 5+ years before I went back to school"

Patient's mom, " you sure do not look old enough to have done all that!".

She was not nice about it either. At that point, I just shrugged my shoulders at her and continued on with the visit.

What was I going to say? I was tempted to say, "You think I am lying to you???".

She ended up being fine with me over time. I do look young for my age (it is in the family genes, my mom and grandma are the same way). I initially thought she was just teasing me but as the conversation went on I realized she was not happy with me.

Do not worry about it.... just show them you know your stuff and move on. I think when you look young, there is the worry you do not know what you are doing.

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Specializes in Pedi.
I fear this is my future. A cashier at a store refused to sell me a video game rated "M" the other day because I couldn't find my ID and she couldn't tell if I was over the age of 16. :/

I've never minded being told I look "too young.". What I mind is now that I'm getting older, the phrase has turned into "Oh, you look so good for your age!" I'm 27. Am I supposed to be looking like hell already?

Haha... I am 28 and get carded for R-rated movies from time to time.

When I worked in the hospital, I used to get lots of odd comments about my age. Well, not directly about my age but about people asking if I was married/had kids and then acting all condescending when I told them no. I got a lot of "How old are you? Well when I was 26 I was married with 3 kids." Well, good for you...

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Hmm...I think you should just take the compliment - because it is one, whether they mean it that way or not. One day you'll be wishing people would say that!

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Specializes in hospice, HH, LTC, ER,OR.

It makes me feel good when I hear it, I know it can become and old and tired statement after a while. Just think of it as a blessing to have good genes and skin turgor..lol.. HUGS :)!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Neuro, Respiratory.

I get this a lot as well...I know I look young but that's okay! I tell people that I plan on aging well, like a fine wine.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/urology.

I've always had this problem & it's something you have to just ignore. I'm 22, but I always get mistaken for like 15 or something lol.

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Specializes in NICU.

I used to have this issue a lot...prior to being on nights for a few years (as previously metioned), lol. However, I was just recently asked, "So, are you still in school here?" Wow, all I could say at 2am was, "No, no, but I sure wish I was still in school..." Hahahaha, as others have said, enjoy it while you can.

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Specializes in ED.
I've always had this problem & it's something you have to just ignore. I'm 22, but I always get mistaken for like 15 or something lol.

This is me. And exactly why I posted about hair requirements for clinical, because I am afraid I won't be trusted by patients just because they think that I look too young. I'm your age. But I really act way older than my age, and I'm way more mature than most my age. I credit to to not having parents and having to grow up fast. I'm sure I'll just smile and tell them thanks or something.

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Specializes in nursing education.

The first few years I was an RN, people would ask me if I was going to go to nursing school when I got out of high school. Or if I liked being a candy striper. (Um, candy stripers don't work night shift, but whatever!)

I just laughed it off. Now I don't get carded anymore and it makes me a bit sad.

Enjoy it while you can.

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Thanks everyone for your helpful and kind responses! A bunch of you actually made me laugh out loud :lol2:

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Specializes in MICU.

Seeing the other side to this- this person's health is in your hands and therefore has every right to be assured they're in good hands. Take it as a compliment and reassure your patient and have a wonderful day :) Change what you can and don't sweat the rest.

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Specializes in General Medical, Geriatric.

I hear that I look young all the time. Pt's continuously ask me if I have any kids and are shocked when I say I have four girls. I take it as a compliment and move along. Doesn't bother me. I'll be sad when they don't say it anymore.

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