You Know You're A Nurse If...

Nurses Humor

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You know you're a nurse if...

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
Your cat goes to the vet and comes home with several new meds to take. Some are twice a day, some are once a day, and one is every other day. So, to keep straight what gets given when because you know you'll never keep it straight in your head, you make yourself a KMAR (kitty medication administration record).

And oddly enough, this mirrors one of my other posts in this thread! Apparently PMARs (pet medication administration records) are my theme?

One of my goggies is going to "camp" (boarding kennel) for Thanksgiving, and he's being sent with a MAR for his Xanax and Prozac, along with instructions for easy administration: Ask him if he wants a treat, make him sit (which he usually does automatically as soon as he sees the treat), grasp the top of his snout with one hand and tell him "open", place pills on back of tongue (easy to do b/c he opens nice and wide), release snout, give him the treat after he swallows the pills down (which is instantly if you placed them back far enough on his tongue), then he gets a second treat just for being a cute little dickens.

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
Your cat goes to the vet and comes home with several new meds to take. Some are twice a day, some are once a day, and one is every other day. So, to keep straight what gets given when because you know you'll never keep it straight in your head, you make yourself a KMAR (kitty medication administration record).

And oddly enough, this mirrors one of my other posts in this thread! Apparently PMARs (pet medication administration records) are my theme?

This reminds me of the time one of my cats went running full speed into the sliding glass door chasing after a bird. She seemed stunned after it happened, so I spent the rest of the night attempting to do neuro checks on her, using my pen light for pupil checks and everything lol. Needless to say, she didn't really cooperate, but turned out to be fine, lol.

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I do this!

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I remember looking at the litterbox (that 2 cats shared) and thinking "How am I supposed to document output for each cat?!?"

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Specializes in Hospice.
I remember looking at the litterbox (that 2 cats shared) and thinking "How am I supposed to document output for each cat?!?"

Heh. I've got 3 cats and I can tell who pooped just by looking at it lol.

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Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc.
Heh. I've got 3 cats and I can tell who pooped just by looking at it lol.

I have 3 cats and can tell who did what. My vet loved me when one of my cats developed diabetes (he has since crossed over the rainbow bridge). With cats they use human Lantus and they do not typically keep close control the way we do in humans. Well I could not stand giving insulin and not knowing what his blood sugars were. I had bad images of my being at work for 12 hours and my poor kitty getting hypoglycemic. He was a very laid back cat and let me do anything to him so I was able to check his blood sugar (you can prick their ears) and I would go to his f/u appts with all these charts on his blood sugar, diet, how much food he ate etc. They started letting me adjust his insulin dosage at home without coming in b/c they knew I knew what I was doing. :)

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NS here. Yesterday when sitting through an HR orientation for my new barista gig, the girl next to me starts coughing badly (we were eating the standard stale, tasteless corporate pastries) and in my head I'm like: Can I lift her out of her chair, this aisle is narrow, what if I do chest thrusts and the food dosent dislodge, OMG, I should have never mentioned that I am in Nursing school!"

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I will admit to comparing lipstick on the 6 different cups on the breakroom table to determine which one most closely resembles my own and drinking it cold. Have seriously considered many times taking up a fake smoking habit just to get a break.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
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You know you're a nurse when your unit keeps a chocolate stash in a clean bedpan and no one bats an eye when stealing a few pieces

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you use (new) tourniquets as a hair tie

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