You know you've been a nurse too long when...

Nurses Humor

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You know you've been a nurse too long when you can't enjoy a movie because of the half minute of CPR compressions only being given at about 50 per minute, with bent arms and there's a flat line on the monitor DURING the compressions. Oh, and it's the obstetrician doing the compressions.

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When I'm in the med section of Wal-Mart and I see a LOL picking that big bottle of name brand Advil that costs $15.99, and I am dying to tell her to get the generic bottle for $4!

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Specializes in Psych.

When my dd loses control of her ADHD and says I know I know Im perseverating again.

Or my son knows that my response to injury is any blood, any bones, no go back and play

Or when husband complains about job and I reply- bad day for me means a death, an aggressive pt fighting with us, or the new one having to go nose to crotch with someone I dont want to hear about it

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I became a nurse after watching my mother as a nurse. I decided she'd been a nurse too long when I was writing a paper for school. I asked her another word for "rash". She replied with "dermatitis?" I was looking for the word "impulsive". I still tease her about it!

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Specializes in ICU, BURNS, TRAUMA, TRANSPORT, HH.

...when you pass the time in airports assessing ankle edema on passersby.

...when you can drink 4 quarts of water and hold your urine for 12 hours.

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Specializes in ICU.

When you LOVE Greys Anatomy, but hate it at the same time bc watching the DOCTORS do all the nursing tasks- and social work, and secretarial, and PT/OT, etc...gets old fast.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

When you don't realize what actually happened until the cop (investigating report of neighborhood flasher) asks you "so, did you see Mr. standing in front of his window naked or not?" - and it dawns on you that you are just so accustomed to seeing naked people that it didn't even seem out of the ordinary.

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Specializes in geriatrics, mother/baby.

I know I have been a nurse too long... when working out at the gym this morning, I noticed an older gentleman doing straight legged situps. After completing about 5 he laid down and didn't move. I paused my workout and looked for chest rise and fall. I though t I was going to have to start CPR on him and was wondering where the AED was located.:)

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But I know that I've been a nurse too long and it's rubbed off on my son---at a recent family gathering the kids were playong outside. Soon I hear dramatic sobbing from the backyard with calls of "Mom! Mom!" I race to the scene and see my son standing near his cousin, the victim. As I assess the situation I see a scraped shin, oozing a bit. I calm the "victim" and start to tell him that I'll take him inside and clean it up. My son pipes up and says, "Look, Cousin, it's just an abrasion. We'll wash it and apply some triple antibiotic cream and put a gauze pad on it. You'll be fine. But make sure you watch it to make sure it doesn't get infected."

Cousin gets fixed up and the play resumes. I later hear Cousin say something about "going to the doctor" to get his "leg checked out". Boy then says very matter-of-factly, "You don't need a doctor. My mom checked you and nurses know more than doctors". ****Crap, I gotta stop talking about work in front of him!

Guess my boy's been paying attention all this time!

LMAO that was a good one.

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
When I noticed the veins popping out of the arm of the statute of David in Italy and I was thinking, I could get an IV in him, no problem! :yes:

I noticed those wonderful veins too! It didn't occur to me then (I was in my late 20's) that I had noticed his veins before I had noticed his great orifice!:confused: Yep! Must be getting old!:roflmao:

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You go to change your nieces diaper for the first time, and you wonder where the gloves are...

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Specializes in MPCU.

You know that your bladder can hold at least 2 liters of concentrated urine.

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Specializes in Orthopedic, LTC, STR, Med-Surg, Tele.

When you note the location of the AED in public places...

When the people around town all start to look familiar...

When you give your family Scary Nurse Lectures about not drinking enough fluids (mom) or taking blood pressure pills (dad)...

When you see a little old lady at the grocery store on a windy day and think to yourself, "hip fracture just waiting to happen"...

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