You know you are going to have an interesting day when you get report that . . .

[Intentional]

"Got your coffee? Good"

"So I'm waiting for a few docs to call back..."

Constant alarming during report

[RNJill]

-Their mother/father/sister/etc. has been at the bedside since the patient got here and they're REALLY anxious. Like, really.

-We've been alternating milk-and-molasses and kayexalate enemas for the past day or so, but we haven't had a result yet...

-When I told them they'd need to get out of bed this shift, they looked at me like I asked them to go skydiving!

-They fired their attending MD

...and I'm sure I'll think of many more

[deemalt, BSN, RN]

"You were hand-picked for this one", or "They've had about six BMs, so far".

[That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

We have 4 indicators at my work walking in

1. Ambulances/cops in the bay

2. ED safety light. Anything but green, oh man...

3. People in the family waiting area visiting with the chaplain/social worker

4. Hall beds and length of the huddle.

If you have >or=2 you are hosed and better just run away.

[Vespertinas]

1) This patient is behaviorally contracted.

2) We keep trying to call the family about code status but nobody has been able to come in for the past few days.

3) We just D/C'ed the flexiseal, PCA, A-line, NGT, and central line (don't worry, he's got a 24g in the thumb).

[C-lion]

When the most-senior, tough-as-nails nurse on the unit has decided she does not want this group back today, they're yours!

[deemalt, BSN, RN]

Oh, family has already started posting signs in room and on door with things like... "Please do not disturb, patient needs rest". Wha???

[Bringonthenight]

Oh, family has already started posting signs in room and on door with things like... "Please do not disturb, patient needs rest". Wha???

This!!!

[Bringonthenight]

Oh, family has already started posting signs in room and on door with things like... "Please do not disturb, patient needs rest". Wha???

This!

[carlyfry]

When the oncoming shift, starts off with , "I'm sorry..."

[MgMRN1]

Haha this made me laugh. I got the patients from hell (mostly psych issues) the other day and when I saw the night shift nurse, I blurted, "Thank God you are here!", in the most sing song happy voice I can muster.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

You hear a patient screaming that he's going to leave AMA because, "This place is worthless!". He then adds that his AMA departure will be in the morning and it's only 7PM.