You just can't make this stuff up!

Nurses General Nursing

Published

In acute Psych here and just had one of those days where you really can't make this stuff up. I can't really share even general information due to HIPAA but would love your stories of the stuff you have seen.

Hppy

Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
found a 2 foot long turd in the nurses lounge bathroom once. Was the only guy on the floor and it was not mine

Sorry, I flushed but it just wouldn't go down!

1 Votes
Specializes in ED.

I tried to commit suicide last year. As to your get a new hobby comment, some people get lucky. I took over 80 SL nitro and am still around but whatever. Anyways, much to this ER nurse's displeasure, I was forced by my coworkers to go inpatient psych which lasted almost a week. I was eating breakfast one morning when a meth head started talking about how safe the drug was. I didn't bother to look up from my cereal but said "the last guy I saw on meth ended up with a tube down his nose, throat, and up his butt." "What the hell do you do for a living?!" "Little of this, little of that. Don't do meth though unless you like people like me sticking stuff up your butt."

0 Votes
Specializes in Case Management, Acute Care, Missions.

I work as a nurse case manager for a state/federal mandated program that is supposed to be nurse driven; office is 45% nurses - other positions are to support the nursing team. 1 of 2 nursing supervisors announced her retirement last February with an effective date in May. Program Manager drug feet and position not posted until July... list of candidates was posted in September, we JUST started having interviews last Fri. Remaining nursing supervisor not on the panel, the only nurse on the panel is a new hire still on probation instead of one of the 14 experienced nurses in the building. The panel consists of our brand new to the program Medical Director (

During this time, we have rotated 5 nurses working out of class 4 weeks at a time and now that we have started interviews... 3 of those are working out of class for 2 weeks at a time... talk about chaos.

0 Votes
Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
Of course I would never actually say this to a patient - but the shear number of repeat suicide attempts (11 admissions in one 24 hour period) makes me want to advise my frequents to get a new hobby cause they are not good at the one they have.

Hppy

Oh my bananas, Hppy. That is a lot. A LOT. I couldn't even....I mean, my eyebrows and facial expressions alone would get me fired from there.

0 Votes
Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
I tried to commit suicide last year. As to your get a new hobby comment, some people get lucky. I took over 80 SL nitro and am still around but whatever. Anyways, much to this ER nurse's displeasure, I was forced by my coworkers to go inpatient psych which lasted almost a week. I was eating breakfast one morning when a meth head started talking about how safe the drug was. I didn't bother to look up from my cereal but said "the last guy I saw on meth ended up with a tube down his nose, throat, and up his butt." "What the hell do you do for a living?!" "Little of this, little of that. Don't do meth though unless you like people like me sticking stuff up your butt."

I am glad you were unsuccessful. I am glad they made you go to treatment. Most of all I'm glad your sense of humor is intact.

0 Votes
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
I tried to commit suicide last year. As to your get a new hobby comment, some people get lucky. I took over 80 SL nitro and am still around but whatever. Anyways, much to this ER nurse's displeasure, I was forced by my coworkers to go inpatient psych which lasted almost a week. I was eating breakfast one morning when a meth head started talking about how safe the drug was. I didn't bother to look up from my cereal but said "the last guy I saw on meth ended up with a tube down his nose, throat, and up his butt." "What the hell do you do for a living?!" "Little of this, little of that. Don't do meth though unless you like people like me sticking stuff up your butt."

I want to double like this post.

I don't just like this post... I like-like this post.

This is the postest with the mostest.

0 Votes
Specializes in ED.

What can I say, when I'm not trying to off myself I'm usually pretty fun!

0 Votes
Specializes in LTC, Rehab.
What can I say, when I'm not trying to off myself I'm usually pretty fun!

Yep... but on that one thing, I'm glad you failed!!

0 Votes
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