You could instantly tell something was wrong

A nurse's intuition / insight are essential aspects that can allow one the ability to make a difference in someone else's life ... You could instantly tell something was wrong. Perhaps it was because her husband answered all the questions, the way he treated her, or the faint purplish bruise still visible under her heavy make-up. Something was wrong. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

When she entered the clinic with her husband, you could instantly tell something was wrong. Perhaps it was because her husband answered all the questions directed at her when she was being registered at the front desk in GYN, the way he seemed to treat her or what appeared to be a slight purplish bruise around her right eye that was still faintly visible under her heavy make-up.

When the patient was being roomed, the husband insisted on accompanying her, stating, "I don't want my wife to be examined without me being present". The staff informed the husband that all MD's have a chaperone. But, the husband refused to wait in the waiting room and insisted on being in the exam room during his wife's GYN exam.

One of my Senior RNs came into my office and said, "I think we have an issue". "There is a husband who was very loud all the way down the hall. He also seemed intimidating / over-bearing toward his wife". The RN insisted she had a "hunch" there was something not quite right going on between the husband and the wife. I asked her to be more specific. The RN said she suspected that the husband may be abusing the wife. She thought she noticed a faint bruise on the wife's right eye and one on her arm, when she passed them in the hall. She said the patient had heavy make-up on her eye so that bruise was faint. She stated, "I've seen this sort of thing before. Based on how the husband and wife are interacting, I have a feeling this is domestic intimate partner abuse." Based on the RN's cursory assessment, I felt it was essential we get the patient alone to make sure she was safe and further assess if she truly was a victim of domestic violence / intimate partner abuse.

As the husband would not leave the wife's side, in order to get the patient out of the exam room and away from the husband while she waited to see the MD, I had the RN give the patient a wrap-around gown and inform the patient that we "needed a urine sample". The RN had also grabbed a domestic violence / intimate partner prevention referral brochure from the acrylic wall holder in the restroom, and hid this brochure in her lab coat pocket to give to the patient after she got her out of the room. The husband wanted to come with the wife, but I stepped in and reassured him that his wife would be right back. I asked him to stay to watch her purse. He reluctantly agreed.

The RN actually took the patient to another exam room at the far end of the hall instead of the restroom. The RN told the patient why she actually pulled the patient out of the 1st exam room into a 2nd exam room. The RN said she noticed the patient had bruising under her make-up around her right eye and on her arm. She asked, "How did the bruises occur?" "Were you in an accident?"....."Or did someone do this to you?" She discussed the information with the patient on the DV/ IPA prevention brochure and asked the patient if everything was okay at home. The patient stared at the RN in silence, then her bottom lip started to quiver. The patient remained silent for what seemed like a minute.

Her lips quivered more, then the tears started to flow. She could barely speak. Then she blurted it out..."It's been going on for two years." "When we first got married he was very loving, but everything has changed, he changed." The patient was now crying so hard, the nurse had difficulty understanding her. The patient continued, "He is having financial troubles with his business." "And, now, everything I do makes him mad." "I don't know what to do." "I'm embarrassed to tell my family." The RN was silent. She said, "How often does he hit you?" The patient stated, "It started out just once in a while, now it's progressed to a couple times a week" "I never know what will set him off", she continued to cry. The RN said, "Do you have other bruises on your body?" The patient answered "yes".

The RN told the patient she needed to inform her Nurse Manager, then cautiously opened the exam room door. The RN checked down the hall to confirm that the husband wasn't standing outside the 1st exam room at the far end of the hall. The RN then motioned to me. I instantly knew what occurred when I walked in, based on the look on the face of my RN and the crying patient. The RN quickly filled me in on everything. By this time, the patient's make-up was running from all her crying, so her bruise on her right eye was becoming darker under her eye as her make-up came off. I gave the patient some tissue and held her hand and told her we were sorry this happened to her, but it was important for her to get help so this doesn't continue. The patient nodded her head between sobs. It was a very difficult situation. I told the patient, "Violence is never okay". "We're here to provide you with resources to help you."

The standard required domestic violence/intimate partner abuse procedures were followed. Information was reviewed again with the patient regarding her rights as a victim and the patient was seen by the MD in the 2nd exam room she was in away from the husband. The couple had no children.

By this time, the husband started to cause quite a ruckus when his wife didn't return to the exam room, so standard procedures regarding this sort of incident were followed. The patient contacted her aunt and uncle and was able to go stay with them. The aunt and uncle were shocked by the news, and kept thanking us for stepping in. The patient was also referred to a therapist specializing in domestic / intimate abuse with follow-up with her physician. The husband went home separately.

A few months later, beautiful flower arrangements arrived for both my RN and myself, along with a box of chocolates for us to share. Attached to the chocolates was a thank you note to the both of us. These were from our patient.

It said, "Words can't express my gratitude for the help you both provided. You are truly angels. You don't know how much you have changed my life. I am feeling more confidence in myself every day. I am separated from my husband and am getting divorced. I plan to look for a new "healthy" relationship. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

Wow, great job!! This is a story that is going to stick with me. I am just starting out as a nurse and I hope I can say I made such a difference in someone's life one day. This is what nursing is all about.

I have experienced this at work before. Very sad

Specializes in Cardicac Neuro Telemetry.
I've seen this as well in the Fertility field, i.e. where the husband / male partner, will blame the wife / female partner, for not being able to get pregnant, and/or having recurrent miscarriages, and then verbally abuse the wife / female partner. The stress of not being able to conceive is difficult enough without having to deal with verbal abuse from the person who should be supportive through the process.

Wow! That is terrible! I cannot imagine the pain of not being able to conceive and to top that off, having my partner or husband verbally abuse me because of that. That is just truly heart breaking to me.

What a great ending to a horrible story!! Great job!!!!!!!!!

Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.
By this time, the husband started to cause quite a ruckus when his wife didn't return to the exam room, so standard procedures regarding this sort of incident were followed.

I hope security and the police were called as part of "standard procedures". We (the staff) and the patient are not to be yelled at and intimidated and we are not punching bags.

This is a very good post! Thank you.

Wow, good job!

To Liebling5

so sorry to hear about the DV. I think what SeattleJess said goes hand-in-hand with what you said and what you experienced in your life. Glad to hear you were able to get out of, what sounds like a bad situation...

All the best...

In response to MBARNBSN,

Yes, "standard procedures" was my PC way of saying that [security and the Police were called]...(I didn't want to get into specifics of what went down...). That is Standard Operating Procedures for our policies and procedures ... Staff are ALWAYS to be protected when a patient or their spouse / partner / visitor, (male or female) start a ruckus.

Yes. I think part of the issue is that some males truly are not comprehending that they actually could be the one with the issue, not the wife / female partner. Until the couple gets a full fertility work-up to see whether the male or female is actually the one with the reproductive issue, you never know what is going on... They are blaming / verbally abusing the wife / female partner for no reason.

Hi Ruby

Hope you didn't feel that I offended you or anything by using the term "my RN". As a nurse manager, I have a habit just using this vernacular in my everyday vocabulary. I don't mean anything by it. I'm just referring to the clinic RNs who work for me in my department in that manner. (i.e. when you have an excellent RN (as this RN is), you don't want another department to try to steal her away to transfer over to work in that department!...so all the Managers say this about their excellent RN's..i.e. "she's my RN, not your RN..LOL). Next time, I can say just "the Floor RN" / "Senior RN" or I'll think of something else that is not so detracting, my apologies..

Thanks for the feedback!

Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.
Specializes in Geriatrics/family medicine.

oh wow amazing you saved a woman's life, great job! well handled and you were both very brave and stood up for a woman in need of motivation to do the right thing for herself