Yesterday

RN yogi · Oct 14, 2014

I am an atheist.

allnurses Guide · Oct 14, 2014

When my husband was in ICU on life support, I had a nurse ask me if he was saved and if not, she offered to pray for him because "you know if he is not saved he is going to hell". She probably wishes now she never said a word because I told her in many words how inappropriate that was and asked for a different nurse. There is a time and place for Jesus speak I suppose but to me that was horrid especially because I did not request any religious advice.

However, a well-meaning follower attempting to shove that information down someone else's throat is not likely to make that happen. In fact, just the opposite.

Interesting. This reminded me of an ER patient who was brought in from the local golf course where he had collapsed. His wife was called and walked in as we were continuing to code him as the medics passed him to us.

She was distraught and crying and asking questions. When she got some of the preliminary answers, she became concerned because he didn't believe in God. She loved him and if he died, she wanted him to be in heaven, not hell. She started praying for him as she stood next to him.

A paramedic was getting antsy with all of the woman's praying and she finally piped up and angrily said that the wife didn't need to worry, that God loves everyone no matter what, that you didn't have to be a Christian to go to heaven, etc.

Obviously, this was unprofessional and I took her aside and said "stop".

Later, after the patient died and his wife had gone home, the doc and I sat the medic down and talked to her about how inappropriate her conversation was to the wife of our patient. You don't chastise someone for their belief system. This was none of her business.

As to spiritual things, part of the nursing assessment is a spiritual assessment. So, yes, religion or lack thereof IS discussed. But we don't proselytize.

If a patient asks about your faith, you can share or not share what you believe.

That's a big IF.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Oct 14, 2014

My mother was on hospice starting the more active dying process and unresponsive.

I came into her room to find it decorated up with 'Jesus loves you' signs and other Christian paraphernalia.

She was born a Jew and identified herself as a Jew.

It was her express wishes that there be no religious component to her care .

Yet, someone or some group took it upon themselves to disregard that documented information.

I still wonder if someone didn't say their prayers out loud over her. This thought makes me furious.

It was a violation of her wishes, a disregard of her self determination and a betrayal by her caregivers.

I call it abuse.

So when someone proclaims their right/need/desire to bring their religious agenda into the healthcare area, I go on alert.

I know the vast majority of people aren't like this but the few and far in between that are are the ones that leave the impression.

duskyjewel · Oct 14, 2014

Ruas61, I am so sorry. That was very, very wrong of whomever did it. That violates the principles of hospice, and you should complain to the agency you used. If they have a need for retraining, or to fire someone because they cannot do their job with the proper respect for their patients' spiritual wishes and directives, then they need to know that.

The only time I've brought my "religious agenda" into healthcare is in discussions here, and in asserting that I would not be able to participate in certain acts. Certainly, just as patients have a right to opt out, so should health care workers. I can't stop someone else from doing anything, but I have lines I cannot cross.

My hospice gives us great training on respecting religious boundaries and giving the patient the support they need and request, and not making assumptions based on what they nominally call themselves. I'm sorry it seems all hospices don't do the same.

allnurses Guide · Oct 15, 2014

My hospice gives us great training on respecting religious boundaries and giving the patient the support they need and request, and not making assumptions based on what they nominally call themselves. I'm sorry it seems all hospices don't do the same.

Our hospice does the same - great training. On all boundary issues as a matter of fact.

I'm sorry too Ruas61. That was not right.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Oct 29, 2014

My mother was on hospice starting the more active dying process and unresponsive.
I came into her room to find it decorated up with 'Jesus loves you' signs and other Christian paraphernalia.
She was born a Jew and identified herself as a Jew.
It was her express wishes that there be no religious component to her care .
Yet, someone or some group took it upon themselves to disregard that documented information.
I still wonder if someone didn't say their prayers out loud over her. This thought makes me furious.
It was a violation of her wishes, a disregard of her self determination and a betrayal by her caregivers.
I call it abuse.
So when someone proclaims their right/need/desire to bring their religious agenda into the healthcare area, I go on alert.
I know the vast majority of people aren't like this but the few and far in between that are are the ones that leave the impression.

Holy CRAP I would've caused some seriously sore butts by the time I was through with that place....!!

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Oct 29, 2014

I have zero problems with people who speak warmly of their faith, and why they enjoy being part of a particular religious movement, or identify with a particular religious culture.

I have many problems with people who believe that the only way for ME to be happy, to be 'saved', to have a full and meaningful existence, is to do so through their own form of religion, and via their own deities or icons.

It's been made clear to me that part of being what I'll broadly call "a good Christian" involves proselytizing. I understand (at least, I understand it as it's been explained to me) that if someone who believes in the most fundamental form of Christianity DOESN'T "spread the Word of Jesus" then they aren't following their faith properly. That it's their duty to help 'save' me.

Ok. I get that.

Thing is, once I've said that I'm ok the way I am, I'm not lacking any spiritual substance because I am not a follower of Jesus Christ, it should be DROPPED. Your need to save me does NOT outweigh my need to abstain from the experience.

If one works in a Catholic institution and the person in the bed has clearly indicated he is a practicing Catholic and YOU are a Catholic (or anyone who wishes to participate in those activities), then BOO-YAH! Go for it. Share.

But if the person in the bed has requested no such involvement, indicated no such preference, and is not asking you to find anything of a religous nature for him......you are expected to be a medical/nursing professional and that's IT.

I wish more people respected the boundaries of others. Not everyone who refuses your brand of religion is doing so foolishly, and is unaware they are going to suffer eternal damnation but for your intervention.....no matter WHAT you think!

khminh · Nov 12, 2015

For the first time in 27 years of nursing, I met a person who said "I am an atheist" My heart did a 20 beat run of V-tach!! Yikes! I wonder if God has placed this person in my path for a reason. I will love her like I've never loved anyone!!!! I have a few more months with her and my heart is broken into a zillion pieces for her.

I'm not an atheist. I believe in a higher power, but I am absolutely not a Christian by any stretch. I hope that you will never be my nurse when I'm hospitalized. Your attitude is clearly towards proselytization. Christians can do that when I am healthy. I don't care. However, when I am sick, the last thing I want is to put up with their good news. That is disrespectful of them.

needlesmcgeeRN, ASN, RN · Nov 12, 2015

That is God's job. Yes, we do have standards, we do enforce them, and we do fight for our stands. But unless God puts His fire in a person, nothing will change him.
Its commical how some people read so much into a statement. They glean all this false information LOL. I never said it was a problem for me.

God is YOUR belief, but not everyone else's.

needlesmcgeeRN, ASN, RN · Nov 12, 2015

Yes, He does. He also yearns for them to accept that love.

Your opinion.